Just don't relate well to people :(

Rev

Don't give yourself a hard time.

I, in general don't like people. I can count my friends on one hand too, and they're the same friends I've had since nursery. Besides two whom I've not known as long.

Way I see it is, I have great friends, I don't need more than that. If I make new friends, great, but I don't go out my way to do so. I'm content as I am.

Dark_Star

I don't know how to shrink the size of pictures but I like this quote....(I'm not a "people person").

Peater

There's an immense societal pressure to surround yourself with friends and to be in a relationship at all costs.

If you are feeling stressed that you don't desire these things and it makes you in some way 'strange', don't. There's plenty of people like you about.

Things like facebook are a wonderful tool to spot the people who have taken norms hook, line and sinker. Constant updates about being out with friends, miriads of self-taken pictures with said friends with the tell-tale identical painted-on smile in each. These are the sorts of people who, if left alone for more than 12 hours, would have a nervous breakdown because "nobody loves me - i'm going to die alone".

lizzie157

I could have written a few of these posts. I too have only a couple of friends who I've known for years but don't see that often. I gave up on a friendship of a few years after bitng my tongue about a few things, dropping hints about them and then just realizing she made me feel bad. I too bend over backwards to please people, not to rock the boat and then when they've really got to me in most cases taken the p*ss, I either blow or just walk away.
I'm trying now to realize that, although it hurts sometimes I am probably always going to be the loner, the one who doesn't fit in and I need to try and be happy with myself and not bother what others think. I too have brought up children who are all popular, although we have had our problems with friendships over the years. DS3 however will readily admit he doesn't like most people and prefers animals (like me) and seems quite happy to be this way. I'm constantly told I'm not 'normal' by my partner. I think as s said above it's just a case of learning to love yourself regardless of what everyone else thinks which is an ongoing thing in my case. Try not to be too hard on yourself.

Sambucus_Nigra

olibrofiz wrote: »

ah, the words of my parents when i was changing schools every 12/18 months and dared to say i'd like a week before i had to start - nope, thrown in within a day of arriving in whatever country we were in.

don't get me wrong, had some fantastic experiences in different countries. but had to pretend to be someone else to fit in

the ex did a good one on me - no one thinks like me, how i think is odd, but then i recognise the years of emotional abuse now

instead of thinking how odd i am maybe i need to think i'm actually normal

EDIT : oh yes, 'what other people think' that was drummed into me from a young age.... i worry what other people think of me - i was bullied at work, i have a crap reputation

You are normal - the trick I found was to lift your initial expectations of friends and choose wisely!

Once I did that I found friends that didn't take the p and gave as much as they took; it's more 50/50 than 90/10 in their favour!

I also moved round alot and was subject to the constant shift in cultures and instead of looking at it as having to pretend to be someone else to fit in, I think of myself as being adaptable. When I want to be! Usually I'm happy just to be me.

And if you are true to your beliefs and do the right thing at work, you can sleep without worrying about what anyone else thinks.

sweetme

Dark_Star wrote: »

I don't know how to shrink the size of pictures but I like this quote....(I'm not a "people person").

I like this Dark Star. I too have very few close friends. I have friends but no one I can really confide in. I enjoy solitude though and find work and my kids are more than enough to keep me happy.

warehouse

OP, the first post, (and most of your others), could also have been written by myself, and many others I bet. We try to please others, find others to be very selfish, rebel. I also don't suffer fools gladly, in fact I now go out of my way to avoid them. I find the older I'm getting the more I dislike the vast majority of people I get to know.

I find most people to be selfish, rude and pretty thick if I'm honest, and there lies what I feel to be my issue. Did you know that people with high IQ's can have the most trouble relating to others emotionally? I can't make good small talk, I'll start struggling after 30 seconds, but challenge me mentally and I can converse all day.

fluffnutter

The world's organised by, and for, extroverts. This starts the moment a child is old enough to be aware of others. Shyness is something to be discouraged, boisterousness is the aim, children are castigated for hanging back and rewarded for joining in.

Whilst it's important to learn social skills, there's seemingly no room to be different. We don't all have to surround ourselves with company all the time; we're not a better person simply because we have a high friend tally on facebook; there are perfectly pleasant, meaningful and fulfilling ways to spend your time that don't involve enormous groups of people.

Personally I feel exhausted if I have to spend a lot of time with other people. That's why online forums are great - I don't have to make small talk and I can walk away without appearing rude. It's taken me until my late 30s to realise that I'm not weird, I'm not rude, I'm just me. The idea that 'extrovert' = good and 'introvert' = bad is so ingrained in our society that it leads to people thinking they've got personality disorders, fgs. Terribly sad.

Joons

Sounds to me like you're a pretty confident person esp when you can tell people what you really think of them rather than talk about them behind their backs cos you don't have the bottle to be honest. As for the cleaning, even if you were the perfect cleaner, it would never be enough, demands for more will always be made so don't take that personal, it's not. As for having friends, you only need a couple of good ones. How old are you? Maybe you're still growing as a person? You sound pretty ok to me...

happyhaddock_2

There are some brilliant observations on this thread, I can relate to sooo many of them. Perhaps it is we who are 'normal' and everyone else is trying too hard?.