Just don't relate well to people :(

Tiglath

Ladyhawk wrote: »

That could have be me writing that post!! I am very agreeable and affable and give a lot until I get fed up with it all and walk away from the friendship and don't look back.

I do wonder if there is something wrong with me but actually I think that most people feel similar if they were honest with themselves. They just may be a little more tolerant than us.

Same here - I don't like people very much and will always choose my own company for preference. I'm perfectly happy being that way though.

Newwashingmachine

olibrofiz wrote: »

my childhood was spent travelling the world with my parents, different schools every 12/18 months or so - i had to be chameleon like and change who i was to be accepted. that was the only way to survive. and i did it very well.

how can i learn to accept myself when i don;t really know who i am. when i eventually was 'myself' with partners, they didn;t like me anymore - but i guess, looking back, it was all false to start with - if i became me they weren't so keen, so i became who they thought i was.... which confirmed to me that who i was wasn;t really nice

When you start seeing someone you're always on your best behaviour. If it didn't work out - it doesn't mean that you aren't nice, - just that you aren't compatible.

I think you're really hard on yourself and need to get some confidence. You sound completely normal though.

poorly_scammo

mrcow wrote: »

Sorry, but you sound completely normal.

Why would you take rubbish off of anyone just for the sake of it?

You say you have "few" friends. Most of us only really have a handful of people who are REAL friends - who know 100% everything about you and still like you. Everyone else is just an aquaintance. People who don't need to "dig deeper" - surface scratching is just fine.

You're being very hard on yourself.

Hear, hear.

OP, I'm like you and I've found that if you don't like yourself, others pick up on that and dislike you too. It doesn't really have much to do with your personality unless you're an axe murderer.

I'd also remember something that a therapist told me: women are condtioned to be nice. We're taught never to complain, fuss or cause a stir. When we do we're told we're ungrateful, difficult and awkward. Men on the other hand are congratulated as assertive and individualistic.

Give yourself a break please.

olibrofiz

meritaten wrote: »

you feel this is true? From your post (and some past ones) I would say the opposite is true!
hun, you do not take fools gladly and although you are co-operative you do realise when they are taking the P and tell them so!
You DO have friends - you say so! and I think most people who say they have 'LOADS' of friends are telling porkies! I think people confuse acquantances/workmates/effbook buddies with 'friends'!
There is nothing wrong with you Oli! You have just had a rough few months, where for some reason the outside world is impinging on you!

Deep breath Oli, calm down and realise that you cannot please everyone all of the time and its OK to stand up for yourself!

no, i don't suffer fools, and i don't put up with things eternally - that's my red zone.

yes, maybe the world is impinging on me. maybe i try too hard to please people - i am insecure emotionally - how other people feel affects me and i do feel abandoned and left out by others - and people abuse my easy going nature - so some of that guff is true....

it upsets me to stand up for myself, i'll do it, but it upsets me

happyhaddock_2

Hi oli, gosh you sound a lot like me at the moment. After well and truly being a doormat all of my life i have finally stopped taking cr*p of everyone.

I have cut out all the negative people from my life and now only have immediate family and a couple of very close friends. For the first time in my life I feel more in control and truly dont care what other people think of me.

Please dont be so hard on yourself, youve got to learn to like you and cut yourself some slack. Go and see your gp, mine has always been very supportive, they can help xx

olibrofiz

poorly_scammo wrote: »

Hear, hear.

women are condtioned to be nice. We're taught never to complain, fuss or cause a stir. When we do we're told we're ungrateful, difficult and awkward.
.

ah, the words of my parents when i was changing schools every 12/18 months and dared to say i'd like a week before i had to start - nope, thrown in within a day of arriving in whatever country we were in.

don't get me wrong, had some fantastic experiences in different countries. but had to pretend to be someone else to fit in

the ex did a good one on me - no one thinks like me, how i think is odd, but then i recognise the years of emotional abuse now

instead of thinking how odd i am maybe i need to think i'm actually normal

EDIT : oh yes, 'what other people think' that was drummed into me from a young age.... i worry what other people think of me - i was bullied at work, i have a crap reputation

poorly_scammo

olibrofiz wrote: »

instead of thinking how odd i am maybe i need to think i'm actually normal

Or revel in your lack of 'normalness'. Either way, you're being very hard on yourself.

happyhaddock_2

Yes been there, got the t-shirt lol. I KNOW I dont think the same way as everyone else, but is it such a bad thing?

olibrofiz

y'know what, when i was in my late teens early 20's i was a hairdresser. i had weird hair, weird clothes and all that sort of stuff. now i mainly dress in black and hair wise am very conventional.

i actually miss that. maybe it's time to stop hiding away and trying to not be noticed - because i'm 'not normal', hide myself, don't attract anyones attention. maybe i do need to find myself. i used to be quite wacky, but over the years have tried to become an unnoticed person, blend in with the background

julie2710

You sound so like me too! I don't normally believe in horoscope stuff but I was given a little Chinese horoscope book and this is what it said about me, based on chinese year and year of birth. It's so true it had me in tears.

Depite it forlorn name the Lonely Monkey is not necessarily a sad creature, but unfortunately, it is likely to suffer difficulties in its family relationships.
You are associated with cutting and as a consequence you find it all too easy to "cut" people down to size.
Any problems in your life are likely to be related to this fundamental personality weakness. You are prone to saying exactly what you think. You are naturally very intelligent and quick-minded. You are vulnerable to changes in mood. You are always easily affected by people and circumstances.

There's lots of other things but this was certainly relevant to how I feel.