teach son about his background?

Purleygirl

mumps wrote: »

I don't think the child calling him a !!!!!! is his friend somehow.

With respect, the use of the n word was not apparent in the first thread if you care to read it. I wouldn't be so stupid as to suggest role play for something so serious.

The school has to be informed.

mumps

Purleygirl wrote: »

With respect, the use of the n word was not apparent in the first thread if you care to read it. I wouldn't be so stupid as to suggest role play for something so serious.

The school has to be informed.

Sorry but you posted quite soon after the mother had explained, I assumed you read the whole thread (maybe its just me but I do like to read the whole thread before I comment as it avoids this sort of misunderstanding.)

When you say first thread do you mean first post? Yes I did read it, I read the rest as well.

mumps

sweetsheep84 wrote: »

Hi mumps. Thank you. We had a little chat with the head and the class teacher. Class teacher was shocked about this. But did say she will have a word with the whole class (son could not point out who it was when teacher took him back in class and asked him. Tbh, i do not blame him coz he is being put on the spot yet again which he hates but OH is fuming as us parents looked like a fool at that point and we still do not know who said it!!)

Going back for another chat again and see if they found out who (I did inform them about which child as son told me what the other child wore but it is important for my son himself to learn to deal with it.) Hope this gets sorted and he can happily go to school everyday without fuss.

Thanks again.

Good luck, I hope your son is OK, it is not a nice thing for him to be going through and really sad when he was happy in pre school. I understand how your OH feels as he just wants his son to be OK but obviously it would be best if he doesn't let son see this.

Keep us updated, I will keep my fingers crossed for you.

sweetsheep84

The school has been told. Had a second chat with the head. The child in question apparently has very limited vocabulary and is capable of saying stinky. So they now think there might be another possibility but they cannot be certain due to lack of witness. So me and OH have taught him to report ASAP to teachers if anything happens again (me calmingly telling him while OH huffs and puffs coz he finds it really offensive and there is no more we can do but let the school keep their eyes and ears out)

What really p****ed me off was the head kinda said 'children in transition tend to say anything to go back to their old school.' My son is well aware of his situation and I personally think that he will not go so low to this but then I am biased coz I am his mum.

So now it is a waiting game and I hope it is not gonna happen again and son learns from this.

Thank you all for the advice.

pigpen

Just a thought.. does the school have any form of restorative practice for resolving issues between staff/children/parents? Basically they have everyone involved in for a meeting and discuss how it made them all feel and find a way forward which will appease everyone. It doesn't always work but it may help you and dad have some closure and know that your feelings have been heard and there is a way forward.

A racist act will be put on a childs permanent school record, however trivial it is.

sweetsheep84

Hi mumps. Thanks. Son seemed ok after that chat. Guess it is just a matter of us wait and see what happens now.

Pigpen: my OH pretty made sure the school heard his thoughts loud and clear. Not so sure if they have this kind of practice but will try and ask if we know for certain who it was.

Joons: dont worry. I tend to skip read sometimes too lol.

freyanneke_2

sweetsheep84 wrote: »

What really p****ed me off was the head kinda said 'children in transition tend to say anything to go back to their old school.' My son is well aware of his situation and I personally think that he will not go so low to this but then I am biased coz I am his mum.

So now it is a waiting game and I hope it is not gonna happen again and son learns from this.

It all sounds very familiair. I have five kids and unfortunately some of them have had heads at some of their schools that were like that. Trying to blame the 'victim' is never okay. I had only just a month ago the same conversation with my son, a bit older than yours, and together with school we found a way together that inspired a bit more trust to tell these things straight away to an adult, in school or at home instead of worrying or feeling upset about it. Luckily in that school we have found someone that is very approachable.

In schools were we dealt with a head that is full of excuses, I found it helpfull to focus on my child's rights to be happy in school instead of the unhelpful head. At the same time I have let the head clearly know that I want a copy of their bullying and racial abuse policy( a legal requirement for a school to have one), just for future reference. I have never had to take it further after that request. School needs to know that you back your child.

It is not nice when it happens, but your child is only little and he has you two that will support him in dealing with everything that will be hard about being mixed race. It is also important that your child accepts that not everyone will like him and he does not have to like everyone.