teach son about his background?

pigpen

Realise first the other child is repeating what his parents have taught him so it is not him being rude but them!

I'd go have a quiet word with the teacher and go from there. Chances are this other boy is just trying to establish himself as higher than your son in the social hierarchy, it is what people do. By making others feel less than you, you feel higher up the social scale, it is all very primitive but that is small children for you.

I'm sure it is just settling in troubles and will straighten out. They always find something to pick on sadly.

sweetsheep84

Pigpen: that is my OH's thought exactly about child learning from parents. I do hope my son will learn to defend himself after this. Thank you.

Balletshoes: will speak to them tomorrow. Thank you.

skattykatty

Well that puts a different slant on it all! You MUST tell the teacher and make sure understand what their policy is so you can follow it up. Your son may well not be the only child who has faced this behaviour (I imagine he isn't and it's not something he would be able to discuss with other children) and there may be scope for work in his class that will show children that we all have things in common and we all have differences and it would be a tedious place with no opportunities for learning if we were all the same.

Purleygirl

Try role play, kids love it. So you pretend to be your son and your partner pretends to be another child, your son will be laughing his socks off by the time you're walking around on your knees. Your partner asks what colour you are in a funny childish voice and you answer in the words you'd like him to say "I am darker than you, I'm mixed race" or whatever you want him to say. Then you get your son to be him and he has to answer when you pretend to be his friend. Honestly once you get teachers involved and make it all serious, then it just makes it a big deal. Give him the words to say and he will say them, there will be no problem if he answers with a big smile and asks his friend the same question.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

sweetsheep84 wrote: »

Had a chat with my son on our way home today. It turned out that the other boy called him a n*gger last week. He also called my son stinky clothes today. So course of action?

Teacher. Tomorrow afternoon. Without fail.

mumps

sweetsheep84 wrote: »

Had a chat with my son on our way home today. It turned out that the other boy called him a n*gger last week. He also called my son stinky clothes today. So course of action?

I had a feeling it was something like this, I never had a problem with my kids but my niece was in a class with a child who used racist language to her and made her very unhappy. The school were very "understanding" about the other child, niece had to understand it wasn't his fault etc. Eventually my sister had to insist that racist behaviour was not acceptable, excuses about racist behaviour was not acceptable and that if anything else was said she was going to the education dept. It suddenly stopped but it took a long time for my niece to regain her confidence.

I think you need to talk to the school asap and make sure this is dealt with. Good luck with it, it is horrible to see little ones upset by this sort of bullying.

mumps

Purleygirl wrote: »

Try role play, kids love it. So you pretend to be your son and your partner pretends to be another child, your son will be laughing his socks off by the time you're walking around on your knees. Your partner asks what colour you are in a funny childish voice and you answer in the words you'd like him to say "I am darker than you, I'm mixed race" or whatever you want him to say. Then you get your son to be him and he has to answer when you pretend to be his friend. Honestly once you get teachers involved and make it all serious, then it just makes it a big deal. Give him the words to say and he will say them, there will be no problem if he answers with a big smile and asks his friend the same question.

I don't think the child calling him a !!!!!! is his friend somehow.

esmerelda98

PoorCharleyBear wrote: »

I think over 50 pct of births are now mixed race, so your son will not be particularly unusual...more curiosity.

My daughter (5) is aware of her very mixed background and loves to reel off all the blood lines in her genetic makeup (not that she can remember them all).
I have told her this makes her a 'child of the world' and she loves to know that. I want her to be proud of all her traits- race is just one of them.

Your first sentence is so, so wrong. Sometimes it is best not to say anything if you are not sure of your facts. A greater proportion of new births are now to mothers who were born outside the U.K, but they are still in the minority, and include significant proportions from 'white' eastern European countries. The figure for mixed-race births is closer to a few per cent. Even adding all the black and Asian births in will not get the figure to 20%.

sweetsheep84

OH did suspect this is what happened. However, without the confirmation from our son I could not have done anything. And of course there is me being the naive one thinking to myself that our boy is too young to experience this. It is greatly upsetting to know that he is actually going through this. He did not choose us to be his parents and yet he has to cope with this.

So off I go soon to have a word with the teacher. I just wanted to know that I am not over reacting.

Thank you all for the advice.

Robin_TBW

Ask the teacher if she would mind running a little of her class linking arts with the childrens family. Get them to paint another person in the class and show them that if you mix white paint with white paint it makes white, brown with brown and it makes brown and if you mix white and brown together it makes a lighter brown colour. Should help to put things in a bit of perspective?