teach son about his background?

Tiddlywinks

My best friend at infants was black and I'm the palest white you can get (I'm almost blue in winter) and we regularly used to try to come up with things to match our skin... Me: Milky bar and her: Mars bar or me: a mouse and her a guinea pig... it was all perfectly innocent because we were curious and it was all really matter of fact to us.

We also spent hours doing each others hair. I was fascinated by how I could get hers to stand up whereas she liked to plait mine - again we just accepted we were different.

Be careful how you react to this - be calm and logical when talking to your son and give him some stock answers about his skin... How about using a mug of black coffee and then adding milk and showing him that the drink is now a sort of mixture of the colours with all the best bits mixed together.

The worst thing to do is make it a big deal and then have your son become hyper-sensitive about it.

coinxoperated

I certainly don't think this is bullying - it's just childish curiosity!

When I was young, a lady wheeled across a road over to me and my mum in her wheelchair and was chatting to my mum. I had no idea where her legs were, so asked her.

She just smiled and said 'Thank you for asking and not just wondering' and explained that she had an accident but she still had the rest of her.

It could of been really offensive, but I wouldn't have known. She appriciated the honesty!

Talk to your son about his cultures, how some people are different colours and how when you mix them, this is what you get. Nothing wrong with that! Make it simple and honest.

PoorCharleyBear

I think over 50 pct of births are now mixed race, so your son will not be particularly unusual...more curiosity.

My daughter (5) is aware of her very mixed background and loves to reel off all the blood lines in her genetic makeup (not that she can remember them all).
I have told her this makes her a 'child of the world' and she loves to know that. I want her to be proud of all her traits- race is just one of them.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

When DD2 was at nursery ten years ago, part of the curriculum was describing people...which included eye, skin and hair colour. Part of the teaching was selecting good colours for painting pictures of their friends. After all, ignoring it completely would be silly.

Anyhow, maybe the nursery in the area did the same, so the child was trying to get a picture right? Or there was an activity to describe a friend?


Perhaps a little chat about what the school does to describe people would explain why he was asked the question.

Buttonmoons

My daughter is mixed race - asian, but she really doesn't look it at all, so the question has never cropped up - I suppose because her skin isn't a different colour, she has blue eyes, brown hair etc - but I remember asking her when she was about 4 what colour her skin was - she looked at her arm and then replied "meat"

Well I guess that pretty much sums us all up - and we are all the same.......MEAT!!!

jackyann

Agree with above posters, and yes, it can be a bit difficult to know exactly what to say.
I remember coming across my nephew & a friend one afternoon, and they were arguing (not unpleasantly, just in that firm way 8 year olds do) about eho had the darker skin (it was summer & a lot of kids were looking at their tans). They were confused beacuse one of them (the lighter-skinned) was "black" and the other was "white". Actually, both were mixed race, and understood their backgrounds, but were re-assessing the use of the words "black" & "white".
And OP, do have a lot of answers ready because it does come up over & over again as they reach different levels of understanding!

BAGGY

My boys are 'cup of tea' coloured according to them. It's because I drank lots of tea when they were in my tummy. Daddy's mummy must've drunk lots of coffee as he is dark coffee colour. I suppose it makes sense to them.
They are very pale asian/ white mix. It only struck me that they are different to me when I saw them lined up with the rest of their classes. I dont make a thing of their colour but they know they are a 'mix up like paint' (their words).

Lara44

My friends' young son explained to me: "I am brown, Mummy is black and Daddy is pink". It was certainly no big deal to him. Would an explanation like that help?

(Although that day poor old Daddy had been out doing the DIY in the sunshine and had got a good bit of sunburn - so maybe a bit more pink than usual!)

sweetsheep84

Had a chat with my son on our way home today. It turned out that the other boy called him a n*gger last week. He also called my son stinky clothes today. So course of action?

balletshoes

sweetsheep84 wrote: »

Had a chat with my son on our way home today. It turned out that the other boy called him a n*gger last week. He also called my son stinky clothes today. So course of action?

time to speak to the teacher - just explain what your son has said, and ask for their input as to how best to get the issue resolved.