How to deal with constant moaners

365days

Your life is too short and too precious to have people in it that bring you down.

Either don't be available for them next time they want a moan, or say something like 'I feel that everytime we meet all I do is hear you moan, it really wears me out' or if you can't do either of those have a good look at why you can't delete people like this from your life.

nickj_2

my mil has a couple of friends and they all go out for eats , one of her friends is a mouthy scouser , the other friends husband loves to wind mil and scouser up to the extent that it nnormally ends in disaster
his main tactic is to say controversial stuff to wind them up , i told her just to agree with him and then he's got nowhere to go with his wind up, however they normally take the bait and then me and wife get full run down of the night a few days later

victory

Oh moaners we all know sime:rotfl::rotfl:the older they get more to moan about:rotfl: it can be very draining if you take it all on board , best thing to do is laugh it off, stop them in mid flow and change the subject to a happy one, point out how many, negative they are in a jokey way so hopefully they pick up on it and change their ways ...

Mrs_Boo_Boo

Great advice victory.
I wouldn't even try to contradict them with something positive it's too much like hard work. I would agree with them in a neutral way or not even comment and let them rant on.

Bennifred

Mrs_Boo_Boo wrote: »

Great advice victory.
I wouldn't even try to contradict them with something positive it's too much like hard work. I would agree with them in a neutral way or not even comment and let them rant on.

This is what I ended up doing with my line manager. Even if you try to let it just wash over you, it's horribly draining, though.:( Especially when they are LOUD and go on and on and on.......there's no escape!

meritaten

I call them 'Psychic Vampires'! they drain you of all your energy - while they go away feeling positively energised!

As soon as they start moaning, imagine yourself surrounded by white light - or a force field. Nod, shake head etc in all the right places! while they go on, and on, and on. half listen just enough not to laugh in the wrong place!
as soon as they have gone go have a shower if you can - water is cleansing!
if you cant shower, give yourself a good shake - rather in the manner of a dog shedding rain! Then think 'happy thoughts'!

Purleygirl

You just pat them on the shoulder, big smile and say"It's being so cheerful that keeps you going isn't it?" My Dad always said this to people who whined. Think it was from some bbc character from long ago, Mona Lot who would say after a long moan that it was being so cheerful that kept her going. Mind you, if some people do have issues it's hard to joke. I know how you feel though, drained is right. It's like watching a depressing film or documentary, you just wish you hadn't watched it because you're left feeling miserable. Just watched Trevor acDonald in Death Row and you realise that most people have little to complain about.

fed_up_and_stressed

Try to not let them get you down if possible avoid them.

You cant be responsible for what others say but you are in control of how you feel and how YOU let them affect you.

Keep your chin up and try to make decisions on your life based on whats best for you.

Sambucus_Nigra

Various methods of dealing with them:

With every whinge give them a Sybil Fawlty 'Ooh I know'

Sit there with your eyes closed and when they ask what you are doing say 'I've gone to my happy place as I can't deal with all the negativity. Poke me in the arm when you are done'.

At the end of the whinge - just say 'And then she died, now do you want a cup of tea/coffee/biscuit/walk in the park?'

Or a Mrs Brown 'That's nice'.

nzmegs

This is a recognised game which many people play. They bring up something which annoys them because they are looking for validation. Not becuase they want your advice. No matter what advice you offer they will have a reason why it won't work for them. All you can do is change the subject and refuse to play the game.