How to deal with constant moaners

shiny76

Purleygirl wrote: »

Just watched Trevor acDonald in Death Row and you realise that most people have little to complain about.

My god! What has he done???

System

My god! What has he done???

Nothing he was interviewing the inmates. Wow was it depressing just to watch :-(.

CH27

shiny76 wrote: »

My god! What has he done???

:rotfl: :rotfl:

heartbreak_star

I'm a bit of a wind up merchant with moaners. They get about 5 minutes, then if they're still going it's "Have you drawn breath yet?" or if they've stopped, "Are you quite finished complaining now?".

HBS x

DKLS

susieanne wrote: »

Being serious how do you deal with people like this im feeling really drained

When they start their epic moan, politely stop them and do one of the following

"hang on a moment" and then walk away from them

or say "try telling someone who gives a !!!!"

or immediately change the subject and start rabbiting away

or direct them to the samaritans, GP Moaners anonymous etc if you do care a bit and they have a genuine reason.

One thing that taught me that moaning isnt worth a hill of beans was volunteering at a local hospice.

Bufger

I ignore them and sometimes have a little laugh on the inside whenever they're off on one. I actually think im starting to feed off their misery sometimes, despite any help they wont get out of their moods so now their woes make me realise my life is quite a positive one (only because I make it so).

Play little games in your head. How many times will they say X word or roll their eyes or moan about so and so. Then you can tally it up without actually listening to any of the drivel

DUKE

If it's close family I tell them to stop moaning & try & get them to see things in a positive light. But if it's other people I try & avoid them. Just a few months ago we ran into an old neighbour who constantly moans about everything & he really brings me down. I said to my husband ''Oh God it's Bob, let's just keep walking as he bores me to death ....''. I smiled & waved & quickly rushed by. Then Bob said to me ''I heard you, I heard what you said, you told him not to talk to me, I can lip read'' I almost died at that point :eek: But I told him not to be so ridiculous & that I was in a a rush I didn't want to tell him, but I'm going to have to say something to him next time I see him. If he decides not to speak to me again then that's his loss. I have in the past told him that he can change his life ..... But he still moans, & I'm afraid I can no longer tolerate that sort of person.

redwasp

Depends on whether you really, really want shot of them I guess - if you don't just ignore the annoyances and remember that they probably don't realise they are being that annoying.

If you do want shot of them, then reduce the amount of time you see them, and gradually you will find yourself drifting apart...that has happened to me a few times with friends who were just so negative I couldn't deal anymore. You can do it gently by screening calls, or taking a while to reply to them, etc. etc.

They get the message in the end...

sedment

Sounds like a few people I know, esp my fil!!! Phone him up to see how he is doing, and all you get is 20 mins of his ailments and problems. Not how are you, the kids everyone well? How poorly he is and how much worse off he is now that he is on a pension rather than job seekers!
You cant change people like that.
Although my bos has a fab cutting way to shut people up when they are annoying her. She waits till the end of the persons dialogue, then stares at them, says "really"? then starts another conversation. Quite rude but gets the point across!!!!

Fuzzy_Duck

Easier said than done but I'd try to focus on their good points that made you become friends, and limit contact to a point where you don't end up feeling drained.

I knew someone like this and I couldn't hack it at all- she was so miserable she dragged me down with her and she never liked seeing me happy, which is not something you want in a friend! It was as if she was only content if she was miserable about something and everyone else around her was too.