Hello DFW my old friend...

Snagggles

Hello!

After a few years in 'the wilderness' (ie having forgotten my MSE password and no longer having the email address I set it up with, so not being able to reset it), I finally got around to setting up a new account with, as you can see, a wildly different username. :cool:

I had a diary on here about 6 years ago I think, when I was trying to conceive my daughter (now age 5) and stay financially afloat throughout the pregnancy.

My son (aged 12, who had his first shave yesterday :eek: ) was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (now recategorised as mild autism) around the same time, and all in all, it was a pretty challenging few years.

I split up with my then-husband when my daughter was a year old, and (as some of you may remember) dated a series of no-hopers, until I met my current partner 2.5 years ago. He lived in Edinburgh, so we did the whole long-distance dating thing for a couple of years, and then I moved up here with the kids in summer.

I love Edinburgh; it feels like home and the children have settled into their new lives very quickly. I had a horrible few months of job hunting, but then found my perfect career working for a well-known charity as a Money and Debt adviser. I am absolutely loving it!

Nothing is ever perfect of course, and life in a new place, with a newly-formed family, a new job, a child with behavioural difficulties/special educational needs and being 200 miles away from my family (and the kids' father) all bring their own challenges and stresses.

I had a major breakdown about 18 months ago, was off work sick for weeks and very nearly lost my job. I pushed away my friends and family, retreated into a life of barely daring to leave my house and wished every day that I could just go to sleep and never wake up. My lovely partner and the kids helped to pull me through it, and I am well on the road to recovery, although I'm still on a low dose of medication, and struggling to get off it.

My old house in Leeds is still for sale, and financially, things will be tight until someone buys it, but I've managed to stay out of debt (for the most part) over these last few years, so things are manageable. I credit the advice and support I found on these boards for that. I'm proof that it works.

That's pretty much where I'm at now. How are you? How are things going? It would be lovely to catch up with old friends and get to know some new faces.

Snaggles xx
(Now with an extra g!)

elantan

Snaggles ( with extra g) I remember waiting for baby s to arrive lol ... We kept betting on it

Great to hear you have came out the dark side of depression, it can be so debilitating

Looking forward to your new journey

stacey2193

Hello, I am new to the site and taking comfort from the fact that I am not alone. I am truly humbled by peoples stories which helps me keep a sense of perspective. I would like to join you on your journey this time around and hope I can be inspired.

Much love and best wishes

exarmydreamer

Welcome, I joined well after your last visit but can identify with your story in a good few things. One being your son's Aspergers, I have 4 shin kickers of which 3 (all boys) have ADHD and 2 of those have Aspergers. So challenging, isn't it. I hope your health improves, and you must be enjoying the snow at the mo, (not to much snow, I hope).

I will subscribe and good luck with your journey.:)

beanielou

Snaggles :wave:
Great to see you here :j :j :j

Snagggles

Hmm, just received council tax bill for Leeds house for remainder of the year. It's £222, due by 10th Feb.

Going to have to sit down this weekend and draw up an SOA. I do that for a living now (well for other people...I don't just write out my own SOA and get paid for it, although it *would* have some entertainment value I'm sure), but it's still a little bit daunting, seeing your own finances in black and white!

Snagggles

Okay, it's the dreaded SOA time. :-/

These are just my personal outgoings, and my income. I obviously have a partner, but I live with him without contributing to mortgage/bills, and he covers most of the shopping, and the ad hoc things like car repairs etc. He's lovely and will help out financially if needed, but I have lived alone for too long, and become too independent, to enjoy relying on anyone else for money.

I could tell you how grateful and lucky I feel, but anyone that has known me for a while, and saw my battle to get/keep my finances under control through pregnancy/maternity leave/ill health/divorce will know that I don't take any of it for granted, and that I feel irrational levels of guilt about any good things that happen to me!

Income:

Salary - £745
Maintenance - £100
Loan repayments - £111 (money I lent to a friend when it was needed, that is being repaid monthly for the next 18 months)

Total income = £956 per month


Outgoings

Extra-curricular activities - £49.10 (I know, I know, but they have never been able to have swimming lessons etc before, and it has helped them to settle in/make friends so much)
Charity donation £3.00
Kids' savings £10.00
Car insurance £63.02
Breakdown cover/travel insurance/mobile phone insurance £12.00
Mobiles £45 (tied in until November, then will be PAYG)
Travel Pass (for work) £48.00
Utilities and water (Leeds) £162.90 (Cannot wait for this to go)
Mortgage (Leeds) - interest only - £165.00
TV Licence (Edinburgh) £12.00
Contact Lenses - £15.00 (estimate - not started yet)
Petrol - £80.00
Council tax (Leeds) - £73.00

Total = £749.02

Leaves £206.98 for all shopping, socialising, school trips, birthdays etc.

So there you have it.

Be kind...most of these things aren't changeable in the near future, so what I need really is to keep coming here and to get back into the DFW mindset again.

I don't have much in the way of debt (about £350 on a credit card), but my car needs replacing soon (just hoping it will hold out until I sell my house in Leeds), I have a council tax demand for £222 to pay for the remainder of this tax year, and in April the HMRC will come after me for about £3K of overpaid tax credits (such a looooong story that I will probably rant about one day!).

Snagggles

Oh, ps...

When I sell the house in Leeds, I won't suddenly be loaded by the way. I will have fewer outgoings, but then I will be able to start contributing to the bills for our home, and most of the equity in my old house will be swallowed up by paying off a chunk of the mortgage in Edinburgh.

Not sure why I am explaining this, except I feel bad for wanting support to keep a grip on things, when so many people are in a far worse situation. :-/

I hope you understand that I have been too though (scarily so at times), and don't want to be again, hence coming here. x

beanielou

Snaggs~You are so right to be wanting to keep a grip on things.
POsitive positive vibes for Leeds.

nearlyrich

Hey I remember you I can't believe that baby is 6...where do the years go?

Snagggles

Thank you Lou!

NR, I know! I can't believe how quickly the time has passed either, and particularly that my life has changed so much since then.

Just had delicious home-made pizzas, with some prawns from the freezer, some chorizo from the fridge, some sundried tomatoes from a jar and some chilpotle chillis from a can. It was like a paella pizza. Nommmm!

Did the weekly shop today which came to £70, which is a bit more than it should have been, but I am going to start taking lunch into work this week instead of popping out for a sandwich. We do have the nicest sandwich place ever close to our office though. It's called Social Bite. All the food is fair trade, organic, locally produced, and all the profit goes to homeless charities. I love it, but I will have to behave and take boring lunches until the house sells!