Engagement - a question for the girls and the guys

LEJC

I have a lovely engagement ring....I know exactly the cost of it but wouldnt have liked to have contributed to its cost in any way!

I also have some other lovely pieces of jewellery that my husband has bought me over the many years we have been together....again each one I know the cost of and I also remember fondly each occaision they were bought for.

To me its not about the cost of the item but the significance and meaning of it....my engagement ring represents an important event in my life and as such it doesnt matter to me what it cost,its more important to to me that he chose to give it to me!

74jax

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Sadly, they don't. At least, not in our family.
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No 'sadly' needed. Be thankful you don't have a family who 'judge' weddings of their loved ones that they've been invited to.

sharrison778

Teeniepops wrote: »

Girls - would you consider contributing towards your ring?

Of course.

My partner and I have discussed this before. I think he should get something for our engagement (when it happens), most likely a really nice watch.

Given we have joint savings, I assume we will decide how much we want to spend then divide that between my ring and his watch.

I suppose we could both save separately for it but I dont really see the point.

Teeniepops

sharrison778 wrote: »

Given we have joint savings, I assume we will decide how much we want to spend then divide that between my ring and his watch.

I like this idea. Means there is no overspending through concern it has to be some big, bold statement on his part.

It was never a question of monetary value of the ring V sentimental value. Just a question of whether, in general, the view on contributing in anyway has changed - I doubt this would have been the case 'back in the day'

Gloomendoom

kitschkitty wrote: »

"Sadly"?....

I'm not sure that was meant as a compliment!

Don't worry, it wasn't taken as one.

Why sadly? Let's just say that some weddings haven't gone strictly to plan, prompting rueful reflections from those concerned.

Violet8

I'm female and wouldn't entertain the idea of having an engagement ring, so I guess mark me down as one for not contributing! This is because I would only entertain the idea of marriage reluctantly as a way of obtaining the legal status etc in the easiest way. Luckily partner is the same but given he used to work in a jewellers I think secretly he wouldn't have minded having to pick something out.

It is very nice to see so many varying opinions on here and refreshing to hear of so many couples who did something outwith the "norm"- I'm at the age where all my friends are getting engaged and every single one of them dropped hints, then the man spent X months salary on the platinum/diamond, and now all the marriages are being arranged with all the little (expensive!) flourishes that "you have to do because that's what you do at a wedding"- they all think I'm mad for not having a ring on my finger and I think they're mad for spending so much money on a party

9ja4life

I would contribute towards an engagement ring if I wanted one and I would let him do the choosing which we did in our own way. Of course we discussed marriage and everything to do with it. We met online so all that came up very early on and we both knew each other's views.

We lived together for about 10 months before getting married but no joint accounts till after the wedding. I'd told him before hand I didn't want an engagement ring and to think well before proposing as I will want to get married within six months of any proposal!

I'd never worn rings and don't really want to wear 2 all the time. However, I love earrings so I got one (an expensive one but then I always buy expensive earrings for myself anyway) when he proposed and I had a 2nd piercing done and have not taken the earrings off in 2 years!

Yes, we got married exactly 6 months after the proposal