Sex Texting

elmer

Oh I completely agree, however she was literally begging for sex, his replies were positive and as far as I was concerned it was just a matter of time.

Both of them tried to make out to me that there was nothing in it, so I have left them to it.....

both sad individuals as far as I am concerned

sarahlou24

I found out that my long term partner of 16 years (and 2 kids) had been sex messaging a woman he met on (an alleged by him) a on line pool site for 4 years! I was gutted and hurt to say the least. (I wasn't snooping - just went to play Angry Birds on his ipod and it opened up to his mail account).

Reading one particular string of messages, they were planning to meet up a few days after I found out. But equally, it did say "I hope we click when we meet". So I don't reckon anything physical actually happened. He says it was just electronic fantasy but it has caused me unneccessay hurt and I have to say a degree of loss of trust.

Joons

Cheating in my book, basically doing that is saying to your partner, I have no respect for you whatsoever! If it's not enough to sex text your own partner it's maybe time you moved on non?

Teeniepops

There is a big difference between flirting (though that would upset me) & sending jokes that are 'rude' and messages that suggest thoughts of being together in that way.

There is the saying about dieting and still looking at the menu - I.e. everyone acknowledges when others (than those they're with) are attractive - that's human nature. However, thinking 'they're cute' and letting them know you think they're cute are total opposites.

If you're in a happy relationship, exercising those thoughts via sexting wouldn't be necessary IMO. If you feel the need to do this, you're not 100% happy.

So IMO it does constitute a level of 'emotional' cheating and in some ways repeatedly seeking this excitement with one set person could be worse than a random, one-off snog (or worse) as it is worse to really like someone V cheat due to urges - this is just my view anyway.

That said, think of how you'd feel if you we're locked up for assault for being heard saying 'I could throttle X right now' - you don't mean it do you?

If I found out my bf was doing this, I'd be heartbroken. Yes, he'd not done anything physically but I'd live in fear he could and hod have reason to think it more likely than it is with anyone.

Don't do anything to others you'd not like and be careful for what you wish for in life!

Joons

It's not adultery but it's still a betrayal of trust. As for folk saying it would lead to sex, not so sure, texting sexy messages is not the same as physically getting intimate with a stranger, it's a much safer option at least. Saying all this, be mindful folk, since the emergence of the internet, you'd be surprised how many men and women are doing this kind of thing and posts saying I'd kill my husband etc if he did only make me think, well how would you know - we wouldn't unless we found out.

podperson

I wouldn't class it as 'adultery' but it would show a lack of respect for your partner, a complete betrayal of their trust and probably a sign of something 'missing' in the relationship. At the end of the day if you need to 'hide' something from your partner then you know full well that it's wrong and would upset them - so I find excuses that it's 'only' texting a little annoying. I would find it very hard to stay with someone who was doing that.

quinechinoise

spender wrote: »

I just want to harness peoples views on this. Is sex texting between friends akin to adultery? I am meaning really dirty explicit text between a female who is married and a male with a girlfriend even if nothing has occurred or likely to occur?

It depends if the texts are intended as sexting or if the language is merely crude. I know some blokes who think all compliments are broadly equal, regardless of language or what they reference. Some people are just... a bit rough around the edges and you either accept that or you don't.

However, if the texts are definitely sexting then I think that is beyond mere flirting (which is dangerous anyway) and is unacceptable behaviour. However, I would also suggest that you don't know the text sender very well if you cannot discern their true meaning - is the text truly "dirty explicit" sex talk or merely crudely expressed? An easy measure is how the text sender talks in person; I'd expect their texts to be broadly similar to their customary conversation to all their friends.

spender

No longer applicable.

dancingfairy

Hmmm. I wonder how the other person partner also feels about this? Although to be honest, it doesn't sound like a laugh to be honest, what's fun about hurting someone else? If there is the possibility it would hurt your partner you wouldn't do it would you?
It may have been just innocent fun but most people on here (understandably would not put up with it) so surely it would have crossed their minds it could and possibnly would cause problems? No?
You needto make it clear to your other half exactly how you feel about this and leave no room for misunderstandings
df

meritaten

dancingfairy wrote: »

Hmmm. I wonder how the other person partner also feels about this? Although to be honest, it doesn't sound like a laugh to be honest, what's fun about hurting someone else? If there is the possibility it would hurt your partner you wouldn't do it would you?
It may have been just innocent fun but most people on here (understandably would not put up with it) so surely it would have crossed their minds it could and possibnly would cause problems? No?
You needto make it clear to your other half exactly how you feel about this and leave no room for misunderstandings
df

Innocent fun? I dont think so. I have many friends and I dont think that texting explicit details of sexual acts would be taken as 'innocent'.
sounds to me like they both want to have 'sexual antics' but back off before it can actually happen. that isnt innocent fun - its 'foreplay'! and if they get the opportunity .............then the foreplay will turn into adultery!