Daughter absolutely potless dont know where to turn

shazm.69

Well thanks alot shes talking about jumping under a bus now. She already feels inadequate i am at my witts end with worry. Her partner is trying to get work who said he wasnt? Hes applied for jobs. And yes 20 with 2 kids it happens. And as for the previous post we thought everthing was ok she was told she was getting Jsa and then it didnt happen. If none of you nosey parkers can give constructive advice then dont bother go and poke your nose into someone elses business instead of making down people more down and even suicidal!

dseventy

Shazm

What plans did they make before leaving spain? Did they just hop on a plane and expect to be housed and given money? Have you had this chat with them?

Has the male in this walked around the local pubs/shops/businesses in a suit with a up to date CV? If not, why not and have you had a chat with them about it?

And dare I say it? I will? If they are unable to provide for the children, have the contacted Social Services? They can help.

D70

DomRavioli

If your daughter is that unwell, I'd get her to see a professional as soon as possible.

With regards to the advice given here, if she has no contributions and failed the test then she cannot get anything.

Is there a reason why they cannot get work?

MinaMina

If she is talking about jumping under a bus, then she can't be a very responsible parent, what good what that do! You'd be the one left with the kids, as i'm sure the father would do a hop back to spain.

You need to show your daughter how to get tough and look after herself!!
And why are you complaining for? They are your grandkids after all.

I'd be questioning the father about what his plans are?

If people are prepared to make a family, then its their responsibilitys to look after them.

Mara69

Reported your post shazm.

I would also suggest you encourage your daughter to visit a doctor.

FBaby

Ok, they are young and got a bit over enthusiastic with the dream of parenthood.
Ok, they probably didn't have much money, didn't save for a rainy day, and when he lost his job, somehow ended up with nothing, your daughter explain to him that it's ok because England is great with unemployed family and they will be much better off then in Spain and they come back. Fair enough.

Now they discover that they can't get any benefits. So???? Isn't it time they accept that life is not as easy as they had foreseen and it is time to go back to Spain and do exactly the same then other locals have to do? After all, it makes a lot more sense they should be in Spain. If he is Spanish, he surely will have a much better chance of getting another job there. If your daughter has had two children at 20, it is unlikely she has much education, let alone work experience to get a decent start in England and support her family whilst her boyfriend looks after the kids.

I don't know why you are getting so angry and rude when the solution to your daughter's dilemma is so obvious.

barnaby-bear

shazm.69 wrote: »

She isnt even getting child benefit. We are all suffering the children are poorly all the time from lack of the right food and not sleeping properly.

If you can't feed the children - could you contact social services and see what they suggest, perhaps temporary fostering (not ideal but if they you can't feed them it might be best for them). Or a food bank or perhaps a christian asylum seeker support charity. Could you as grandparent get parental responsibility and claim CB?

keithrgj

this is terrible

a person asks for advice and help being a mother and utter scorn is thrown at her. remember their are kids in the equation

might i sugest she contacts shelter who are a registered charity, they have people who can help with benefits etc. you cannot be left destitute. their are things like a crisis loan which you will have to pay back once you have a job or entitled to benefits. as long as you have a national insurance number.

it seems people now believe all the negative propoganda from the likes of smith etc. its called

Neuro linguistic programming

Dr. Goebbels would be so proud

n

barnaby-bear

keithrgj wrote: »

this is terrible

a person asks for advice and help being a mother and utter scorn is thrown at her. remember their are kids in the equation

might i sugest she contacts shelter who are a registered charity, they have people who can help with benefits etc. you cannot be left destitute. their are things like a crisis loan which you will have to pay back once you have a job or entitled to benefits. as long as you have a national insurance number.
n

The problem in this case is that neither the daughter or partner have paid NI contributions or worked / claimed /lived as adults in this country and as such are ineligible for benefits or crisis loans as they have the same entitlement as an american/african tourist would. The partner has been working in Spain but cash in hand so is out of the benefit system there. The system is there to try and stop benefit tourism - benefits in some EU countries are less good and the government has to pay to EU nationals as UK, so the additional residential criteria were put in place, a spainard who had worked and paid NI here would get benefits here, as would a UK national who'd been working in Spain. The problem is the changing country issue.

A charity might be the best short term stop-gap;

missmucksmum

op is she registered with the local doctors and health visitor? if she gets in touch witht health visitor she may be able to offer some advice also health visitors can give out vouchers for the local food bank offering 4 days food for you all at a time I hope this helps x