SF's road to mortgage freedom!

Karmacat

SF, sorry to hear things are bad for you. I definitely agree on working to lessen the symptoms, ie not being able to sleep and panic attacks. Sounds like you may also need help figuring out what's going on to cause those symptoms, though. Many, many gentle hugs to you, and it doesn't matter that your update isn't positive - you can see that people want to hear, you have connections on here, truly.

slowlyfading

Thank you everyone :kisses3:

I have been reading about guided meditation and think I might try that before bed. Even if I don't manage to do it every night, I think it might be good to try and relaxing. I might get DH to have a go at it too. If anyone has any specific suggestions please send them this way?

I am definitely taking each day as it comes at the moment. I really am struggling with energy and I am very emotional a lot of the time which is tiring too. I am trying to act as normal as possible around DS as he's such a gorgeous little chappy and I don't want him to notice any difference. He's changing every day and has such a lovely character coming out, even if he's very cheeky at times...!

I have bought some lavender bubble bath so I'm going to go and run a bath and then have an early night. I was awake until way past midnight last night and then awake at 4am, so I am, predictably, very tired.

Wish me luck

Popgirl

Sorry to hear you are not 100% in yourself. A couple of sprays on my pillow of Lavender pillow mist usually helps me relax and sleep when I go to bed. Tried both M&S or L'Occitan@ I prefer the M&S one and its the cheapest out of the two. Saying that it 1am and I still awake as my mind is buzzing. Take care SF. X

slowlyfading

Every time Sunday evening rolls around, I get so low. I feel like I don't have enough energy to face the week ahead.

I sometimes wish I could just disappear somewhere, take DS and DH with me and not have to face the world any longer. Just the three of us, with no expectations other than just to live our lives.

I didn't want to post a rubbish update, but I don't know how much longer I can keep everything together

Knit_Witch

slowlyfading wrote: »

Every time Sunday evening rolls around, I get so low. I feel like I don't have enough energy to face the week ahead.

I sometimes wish I could just disappear somewhere, take DS and DH with me and not have to face the world any longer. Just the three of us, with no expectations other than just to live our lives.

I didn't want to post a rubbish update, but I don't know how much longer I can keep everything together

I think you need to see your Doctor hun - you need some help otherwise you will not be able to cope with your wonderful little one.

Hugs from me :A

beanielou

yes, time indeed to have another trip to your GP & tell them exactly how it is.

AlexLK

Sorry to hear this, SF.

Has the sleep improved any? This WILL be affecting your mood.

slowlyfading

For the first time in ages last night, I managed to get more than four hours of sleep. I am fairly certain of that. DS has slept through for the past week from 8pm-6am, give or take 15 minutes or so.

My first counseling appointment for anxiety is on Friday morning. I am worried they will think I'm just making stuff up

I cried this morning when I left for work, as I seem to do most mornings now. Leaving DS is so difficult. It's stupid because I know he is fine; he's a happy, beautiful boy who is growing up and having fun.

I wish I didn't feel like I was letting everyone down, all of the time.

Happy Tuesday

beanielou

I hope your appointment goes well for you.

AlexLK

SF: The counsellor WILL NOT think you are "making stuff up". I know it is hard but you need to try to put some trust into the process and by extension the person counselling. From a personal perspective, nothing worked for me at all until I put some trust into both the person, the process and into the idea of me not being defined by the problems I have. Things aren't perfect now and probably never will be but I am in a much better place (mentally) than I have been in a very long time.

You need to get some more sleep. If anxiety is stopping you from sleeping, you need to try methods to overcome nighttime anxiety. My bad sleep habits have been going on for nigh on 15 years, don't let it get to that stage, please.