Hoarding - A New Start

suzitiger

I'll make a deal with you BrightonBelle, If I haven't made any in 6 months, I'll get rid of the cards :-)
PS I am glad you are one of our 'drop your top' regulars
(to those who are thinking :eek:, drop your BOTTLE top, goodness me...)

tattycath

suzitiger wrote: »

Hi TattyCath, and welcome
I hope you will feel at home here, I have settled in well after about 2months on the thread so I am sure you will too.
'Churning' is a tough one, its so easily done. I think blossomhills post will really help you with focusing on small goals rather than the bigger picture.
For me what got me going was watching a program about Richard the 'obsessive compulsive hoarder' and many things that he said, I say too. And whilst I am not anywhere near the level of Richard it made me think ':eek:, that's me!!'

Thanks for the welcome suzitiger.
I did watch quite a few of 'The Hoarder Next Door' programmes. I can so relate to them-though my hoarding is really no where near as bad as theirs. (which is why I need to sort it out now).
I have loads of stuff I should get rid of but I keep putting it off saying 'I'll list it on ebay, no point giving it away when I can get some money back on it'. I now have an overflowing cupboard full of 'stuff' to sell.

decogecko

Afternoon all

Welcome tattycath you've made a fab start, baby steps at first as you don't want to overwhelm yourself.

On the subject of control freakery - I too am but only towards myself, I daren't tell other people how to do things as I would probably tell them wrong. I am reserved on what parts of me I share with people. But I am an imperfect perfectionist and it stiffles and overwhelms me at times. I also feel like a massive failure if I don't do something I've mentally tasked myself with.

My late OH was a major control freak, I never did anything right, well except for the vacuuming which he admitted very begrudgenly I was good at! (the only thing I did right). Everything had to be done his way any other way was not good enough. Consequently I'd worry a lot when I did clean the house that he'd moan that it still wasn't clean enough or hadn't been done properly. Which he still did no matter how hard I'd tried.

Or if I'd not had time to clean (I work full time) he'd moan and say the house was a mess and then leave his dirty dishes on the side for me to put in the dishwasher. All the while the garage and shed were rammed with 'things'. I actually remember him saying (with a degree of contempt) that he was never going to sort out the stuff in the garage and he was right. Sadly.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, feelings and LBMs about hoarding, you not only help me understand myself a bit better but also maybe why my late OH was like he was.

Deco x

amyloofoo

tattycath wrote: »

Thanks for the welcome suzitiger.
I did watch quite a few of 'The Hoarder Next Door' programmes. I can so relate to them-though my hoarding is really no where near as bad as theirs. (which is why I need to sort it out now).
I have loads of stuff I should get rid of but I keep putting it off saying 'I'll list it on ebay, no point giving it away when I can get some money back on it'. I now have an overflowing cupboard full of 'stuff' to sell.

That's exactly what I do... I'm thinking of instituting a rule that anything I don't manage to list in the next six months is slung or charity shopped - should hopefully make me get on it! I've also put together a big bag of cash 4 clothes type stuff, which is too good to bin but will take ages to ebay. I'm hoping that knowing I'll get *something* (even if very little) for it will encourage me to get rid

lostinrates

nightsong wrote: »

I love how honest we can be here.

For me, it's about a reaction to control-freakery in others I think. Keeping stuff, getting more stuff and not being organised about my stuff has been a way of responding to feeling controlled. A passive-aggressive way, probably. Created in childhood as a defence of sorts, and long past its best-by date. Hmmm .....

Both my parents are also control freaks, one in a passive aggressive sort of way.

Thank fully dh is so far the opposite it works out ok, and I am really, really working on it since admitting the link with my perfectionism.

Byatt

Hi tattycath, sorry I missed you earlier, I have "amoeba" brain so not thinking too well, and not doing a great deal either except the basics and work.

It's too cold to sort the bedroom, which is not so bad now, but still very messy.

My health isn't great, saw the dr yesterday hoping to come off one med, and he's put me on two more! :eek::( I could cry, honestly, shake me and I'd rattle. I didn't dare mention a joint problem I have. Not the smoking kind. :cool::p

I could easily hibernate so well done to everyone who's managing to do something. :T

tattycath

Byatt wrote: »

Hi tattycath, sorry I missed you earlier, I have "amoeba" brain so not thinking too well, and not doing a great deal either except the basics and work.

It's too cold to sort the bedroom, which is not so bad now, but still very messy.

My health isn't great, saw the dr yesterday hoping to come off one med, and he's put me on two more! :eek::( I could cry, honestly, shake me and I'd rattle. I didn't dare mention a joint problem I have. Not the smoking kind. :cool::p

I could easily hibernate so well done to everyone who's managing to do something. :T

Thanks Byatt,
Sorry to hear you're struggling at the moment. ((hugs)).
My time has been commandeered for the last hour helping my OH locate 'important paperwork'. He can never find anything either-he's as bad as I am but he won't admit it. :rotfl:

Brighton_belle

suzitiger wrote: »

I'll make a deal with you BrightonBelle, If I haven't made any in 6 months, I'll get rid of the cards :-)
PS I am glad you are one of our 'drop your top' regulars
(to those who are thinking :eek:, drop your BOTTLE top, goodness me...)

It's a deal . Have you got a diary or calender you can write this on for 22nd July?
And thank you for your kind compliment, even though I haven't a clue what 'drop your top' regulars means and it might in fact be an insult:rotfl:

lancashirelassie

Hi Peeps,
well here I am after a productive couple of days, yesterday got DH to put AND move other shelving about moved items into correct places and wee hee tidyness appears!! Pin up picture and move another about.. finished a crochet blanket with wool for GD's "baby" took less than a week hammering it finished.. completed that bit of fantasy life lol now can continue with new blanket for night shelter project people.:rotfl:Just spent the afternoon in a proper MSE style - no heating on - as the sun is shining well into bedroom 3 (the office lovely n warm) sorting through filing drawers, filing on the desk, files on the shelving and shredding the paper!! finding items and putting them where they belong ooh a clear window sill & space on desk... the shredder keeps overheating allowing me to do other small projects while it cools down:rotfl:got some ebay items to leave also, thats for tomorrow's tasks.
I have finally thrown out 2 items of sons that have been pinned on the notice board for the last at least 17 years... no joking....:o I am really hanging on to the past, not sure why,I am now working at moving forward thanks to you peeps and learning to put things into prospective :T.
My ditty for now is "For things to change - you have to change"
Keep up the good work everyone x

This_Year

lostinrates wrote: »

Oh no, why?

eBay board is a bad idea I think, I need no further excuse not to persue this, but tell me what I have to worry about doing this...then I won't find 800 other things to worry about while reading that board!:o

possibly been answered already, but when people pay by paypal, you're meant to send things tracked. Otherwise buyer could pay by paypal, collect, then be nasty and tell paypal it didn't arrive, paypal ask you for tracking details, you haven't got any as it was collected, and paypal usually give the buyer their money back.

Not trying to put you off, seriously. But furniture is generally collection only - buyer will want to look at it before he pays, right?