Hoarding - A New Start

blossomhill_2

tattycath wrote: »

Please help. I am a hoarder There, I've said it. Now how to tackle the problem??
I have managed to [STRIKE]de-clutter[/STRIKE] move around the contents of 6 drawers and 4 cupboards this year so far. Most of the stuff I didn't know what to do with, I just seem to move around from one place to another. I always complain of needing more storage space but i sometimes wonder if I just need to get rid of stuff.
I occasionally have 'clearouts' but that just makes a bit of space that I soon manage to fill again...
Any advice/opinions welcome-thank you

Yes we can help. welcome aboard.
What you decribe about moving stuff around is common in the sisterhood of hoarders - it is known as "churning", or rearranging the deckchairs on the Titanic - we do it and get into a vicious circle of expending energy on pointless exercise then feeling defeated because we have not made an impact.
If you can read back over this thread and the previous (see Post #1) you will see lots of guidance, but for now my advice would be

1) start random - faced with a pile of random objects, pick a random numer and think "I will hang 3 skirts on hangers today" and tomorrow "I will throw out 2 broken things" etc

2) put like with like - dont start by thinking you should have a place for everything and everything in its place - you will get there, but for now you can't plan storage until you know what you have to store. Believe me, when you are faced with a line-up of 6 hole punches and find yet another one, you will start to mentally let them go!

3) return anything that belongs to someone else

4) keep posting - good and bad, success and less successful, share and listen, you will have LBM (light bulb moments) when someone else's experience or clarity of thought helps you see thru the fog

PS It is very unlikely that you need more or better storage - more stuff doesn't solve too much stuff, reducing it does

whitewing

Your DD will love the new stuff just as much so bundle up and sell. It's good and motivating sometimes to have the change.

I am decluttering my mobile, partly because of contacting people for bad weather.

I laugh at the word churning. I was shredding stuff the other day and putting the shredded stuff in the bin. My toddler was having a wonderful time up to her elbows in the bin, actually churning the paper around.

Last night I cleaned a new-to-us chest of drawers. SH will go through DD's wardrobe and sort her clothes into it, and then we will get rid of her little wardrobe. The few items that she needs hung up will fit in my wardrobe.

amyloofoo

Right, this afternoon I am venturing into the kitchen... :eek: I am terrible for overbuying food and drink, as well as kitchen gadgets and crockery. I had a massive clearout of crockery before Christmas, but the food cupboards really need a good sort now. I've bought some glass jars to keep pasta, pulses etc in so they don't get everywhere and so I can actually find them and not buy more. I buy food, but then can't find all the ingredients so buy more.

Thinking about it, I know where this comes from and I need to stop combatting bad experiences from my childhood with STUFF - something I know a few on here can relate to.

tattycath

amyloofoo wrote: »

Right, this afternoon I am venturing into the kitchen... :eek: I am terrible for overbuying food and drink, as well as kitchen gadgets and crockery. I had a massive clearout of crockery before Christmas, but the food cupboards really need a good sort now. I've bought some glass jars to keep pasta, pulses etc in so they don't get everywhere and so I can actually find them and not buy more. I buy food, but then can't find all the ingredients so buy more.

Thinking about it, I know where this comes from and I need to stop combatting bad experiences from my childhood with STUFF - something I know a few on here can relate to.

I can so relate to this.
I have loads of tins and packets of food -we lived hand to mouth when i was a child and I always vowed I'd always have well stocked cupboards. They are so disorganised though and it makes it a long job to find anything.
I buy magazines if they mention decluttering on the cover... then I keep them and the clutter
I'll make time to read through this thread later this afternoon. I've spent too long just sitting and doing nothing. Will get my rear in gear and be back later.

sjprmc01

Oh I won't be running out to buy her new bed covers or anything granny (who bought the beds) bought them matching butterfly bedding but she also has one or two non character sets anyway (I tend to pick up stuff like that in the sales)

And there is nowhere for a nightlight now anyway

I know I should get rid but I think I will see how attached she is. She still has peppa toys and DVDs. But I have a feeling she may not bother about the other bits if she can hang onto her cushion and blanket

lostinrates

As we have all been so honest about the less pleasant traits that often go with hoarding, may I share another?

Control freakery. For me it's definitely connecte to the perfectionism thing and actually creates huge amounts of totally unneccessary stress for me, and me alone. Part of it, IMO, is a rag against the waste I see fro. Hoarding or over shopping parents ...particularly but not only the one that lives here now.


I notice it in only one or two other people's posts here, so doubt it's a universal trait of hoarding, but have noticed it enough to think 'this is not just me'. Which is a relief, but not a get of of jail free card.

blossomhill_2

sjp - I'd say 5.5 yrs is still quite young and I see the blanket and nightlight as comfort things, and a blanket is a blanket whatever the logo - my DD had a full size character blanket and when she was too old for it we just used it inside a duvet cover

I found lots of sets of twins this am, so very pleased with that - also ventured onto a shelf on the bookcase and found a good two foot of files etc that all relate to obsolete things and experiences from the 80s & 90s. Bin.
Among them a card from the builders FGS of our first home, from the early 90s - and I kept it for how long! Pah!
The shelf has now collapsed in shock at being used so I need to go out and buy a bracket

Byatt

LIR, I'm control freakery in the sense of perfectionism, and not in the sense of controlling someone. (edit, well I guess it is controlling still) It's do it my way, which is of course the perfect way, or let me do it my way, because it's the perfect way. Actually makes me shudder as even dressing the tree when DD was younger was a nightmare for me. Another for instance, is when I used to go shopping as a family and I would send ex and dd off to pick up different things in the supermarket as it all seemed more efficient to me.

sjprmc01

LIR and BYATT

I have the control freak in me too! I have to be nowhere near kitchen if OH is doing dishes as I take over coz he isn't doing it 'right'

I had to switch off long ago to his dressing the kids at the weekend in non matching and each others clothes (I work weekends from early morning)

I'm on the Parent Council t school and find myself saying a lot of the time that I will do things just to save having to tell others 'how it should be done' (in my eyes)

Catriona_P

Agree with Blossomhill about the blanket being a blanket - up until my early 20s I still had my favourite pink My Little Pony fleece blanket, which was still warm and snuggly. Until my Mum and husband conspired to throw it when I wasn't looking

Interested to see how you get along with the Peppa Pig declutter, sjp, my daughter (2 on Friday! ) is obsessed with Peppa Pig and has loads of related stuff. She's still well into the phase so I won't be getting rid of anything yet but finding a way to get rid when the times comes interests me.

I really need to get on with my declutter now I've recovered from my exam (a week ago today, where's the time gone?!). So far this week I've put a load of baby stuff on my work intranet, all of which has sold already and is waiting for various buyers to pickup. Tonight I shall make a start on my eBay stuff and my charity clothing bag. Realised at the weekend I have too little actual winter wear but going to clear space before buying anything new.