Hoarding - A New Start

katep23

Piglet, very emotional times for you dealing with this so hugs.

No new things in except a candle in a jar which will get used (we have candles lit every evening). This has also prompted me to bring down the candles from the bathroom as I never light them so they can be used.

Was desparate to go shopping (Boots sale and Clintons) then thought what was it I really needed? Nothing! So it was an emotional want rather than needing anything. Managed to stop myself (can't stop looking at the grabbit board though!)

Gutted as I saw some lovely wine glasses in the Debenham's sale which were reduced and agreed with mum she would buy us a dozen and I could replace all the mis-matched ones. By the time I went to order they were sold out. Not meant to be obviously!

This_Year

Pitlanepiglet wrote: »

I had never really thought about why I hoarded until now, but it's fairly clear now it's a reaction to losing the stability that I had; my mum, our home and our animals (we couldn't keep our two dogs after Mum died). I seem to have reacted by trying to keep hold of everything from then and since then.

(((Piglet)))

greengoblin

savingqueen wrote: »

One of my problems is DH is also a hoarder (different types of things to me) and kids have so much stuff, I feel I can't get rid of their things without their consent. I will concentrate on my personal stuff and house stuff as more than enough there to keep me busy for a while. Maybe they will follow suit if I lead by example anyway, if not will have to work on them later!

When I was small my mum and nana got me into doing carboots. I had to pick, price and sell my own toys and books and then I got to keep the money to spend on what I wanted. I paid a bit into the pitch fee but the rest was mine. £5 is a ridiculous amount of money when you're 8! I have to say it's a habit I have stayed with - hmm, need £50 for something, box up some carp and get up at 6am time again! (I'm now 23!). I found it especially useful when I was a young teenager as I was too young for a job but needed some monies. I think I took so well to it because I loved playing shops when I was small and this was a real life chance to play shops! Maybe something to try and encourage your children if they are old enough? Make it into a useful game; the more you decide to get rid off the more money you will potentially make to go towards X.

Picklepot

[STRIKE]I am now very good at not buying anything unnecessary - having a tight budget and savings goals have helped hugely. What I am not so good at is getting rid of what I already have. This is exacabated by feeling I need to keep what I have as I can't afford to buy more. hope that makes sense! [/STRIKE]


SQ I could have written that! i know exactly where you are with this and this is what i am presently strugglng with the most.

Am struggling with quoting can anyone advise please???

The_Dragon

Picklepot wrote: »

[STRIKE]I am now very good at not buying anything unnecessary - having a tight budget and savings goals have helped hugely. What I am not so good at is getting rid of what I already have. This is exacabated by feeling I need to keep what I have as I can't afford to buy more. hope that makes sense! [/STRIKE]


SQ I could have written that! i know exactly where you are with this and this is what i am presently strugglng with the most.

Am struggling with quoting can anyone advise please???

Where you have written STRIKE you need to write QUOTE

so

and then as you had before a slash before QUOTE

Molly41

oystercatcher wrote: »

Hello all,
I found this thread yesterday , have read up tp page 18 so far. Yesterday I felt very empowered, I can relate to so much I have read.

Today I came back, intending to join in, read a bit more and I feel strangely anxious, too much talk of 'Getting Rid of Valuable Things' ! How can people throw out sewing things, or candles ?

I can remember the liberating feeling when I have 'skimmed the scum' off the top of my 'stuff' however I never seem to get much further. The house is too small, I just need more storage and different furniture !! (I know, I know.......)

Please be kind to me, I want to join in but I'm not sure I am ready yet.

I'm going to run away now and will come back and read a bit more when I feel less anxious.....

Lovely to see you - How are you doing?
Im still plodding on x
Hugs xxx

Byatt

blossomhill wrote: »

Sometimes, the dreams that come true are the dreams you never even knew you had

That's lovely, BH, and I hope I can have that feeling one day. :A

katep23

Saw this on facebook today and really liked it so wanted to share

http://i1101.photobucket.com/albums/g436/katep23/74679_533600383340079_465294338_n_zps325a8b1e.jpg

suzitiger

Gosh the thread is moving fast today, I will try and have a proper catch up with everyone tomorrow :-)

oystercatcher wrote: »

Hello all,
I found this thread yesterday , have read up tp page 18 so far. Yesterday I felt very empowered, I can relate to so much I have read.
Please be kind to me, I want to join in but I'm not sure I am ready yet.
I'm going to run away now and will come back and read a bit more when I feel less anxious.....

Hi Oystercatcher and welcome, I do hope some of us hoarders who are having a ruthless moment aren't scaring you off :rotfl:
Very sorry that it has made you anxious but I do think this is the place for you, it is a friendly non-judgemental thread and you can tell us anything here, you just take it at your own pace and let us know your triumphs (however small) and any flops (we don't fail lol) that you may also wish to share

GreyQueen wrote: »

My flat is titchy (240 sq ft and that includes bits like under the bathtub) so every object has to pass the useful or beautiful test. I choose to make space for candles because it makes me feel comfortable, and I wouldn't want to be without my sewing supplies but they are limited to a small re-purposed CD/DVD storage cabinet which I bought 2nd hand for that very purpose, and one modest box of fabric bits.

Today I'm about to go out, even though I figured I wouldn't as the recycling bag is "shouting" at me and my elderly neighbour needs something from the shop and I fancy an airing.

Anyone else have noisy clutter yelling at them?

Wow Greyqueen you have mentioned your flat is tiny a few times but I never realised how amazingly well you must use the space you have :T Have you ever seen that program on channel 4, i think it is called amazing spaces, there was a flat featured in Barcelona that was MINUSCULE, but the most clever use of space I had ever seen, it was beautiful, the guy even had a roof terrace. Now I am imagining your flat like this :rotfl: Well done on your pan victory, my hoarder inside me was telling you to buy it :eek: so you did well to resist.
And yes the noisy clutter was shouting at me also so I took some recycling (that can't be done through our bins at home) to work with me, and I looked like a crazy bag lady this morning on the metro! :rotfl: I had a bag of bottle caps (L*sh recycle these, many local councils don't so please take them if you have a shop near you, I work for them ) a bag of big plastic items I had no more use for that our council also don't take but the work bins all go to a recycling company so I was kindly allowed to take them in, and a bag of borrowed Christmas baul bauls, so yes I did get a few funny looks but happy to say i'm not quite that bad yet :rotfl:

GreyQueen wrote: »

blossomhill, thanks for clarifying the candle situation. Isn't it mad that so many of us seem to have read your post with an OMG emotion? And yes, getting rid of something which links to negative emotions, even if it is a useful or valuable thing, is the way to go.

Gasp! I did de-clutter some decorative candles to my freecycle friend but only because I have so many, I just de-cluttered ones that I didn't particularly like any more which is a big step for me as I would not have been able to do this if I was in a different mind-frame, I'm just feeling ruthless at the moment and taking that to its full advantage. (well, as ruthless as a hoarder can get, lets not get carried away here, I'm not Stellios yet)
And sewing things I have a tin to keep bits and bobs in. I also have a small box of ribbons and a bag of material/scraps. Not too bad and I do use them lots I can't get rid of useful things and no-one would want you to anyway

suzitiger

greengoblin wrote: »

When I was small my mum and nana got me into doing carboots. I have to say it's a habit I have stayed with - hmm, need £50 for something, box up some carp and get up at 6am time again! (I'm now 23!)

Yessss! I am so pleased to hear that, I grew up on carboots (dad was a record dealer) and I sometimes used to go with him to set up my own stall I don't have a car so ebay is my carboot, i've made £100 this week

Pitlanepiglet wrote: »

Frizz2 your son's comment reminded me of something funny, my friend is a hoarder too and her teenage boys (18) savour the times that she goes away, not because they throw wild parties but because they tidy the house whilst she's gone. Their facebook pages say things like "waiting for Mum and Dad to come home and make the place untidy!". The things that tidy children of hoarders have to put up with !

:eek: ooh how funny and a bit awkward lol. My sister is like this, I love having her to stay cuz she really helps me see sense although I do get very anxious sorting through things with other people she really helps me as she does understand and is sympathetic

Pitlanepiglet wrote: »

Phew, finished for the day. Not only do we have a back wall to the shed but it appears to have a floor as well - who knew?!

This dehoarding (is that a word?) really is a journey and a for me at least has been a real learning experience about why I hoard and how my past has affected me.
I seem to have reacted by trying to keep hold of everything from then and since then.
Understanding why does make it easier - I'm keeping the things that matter but have cleared out the general tat that I've kept since then in an attempt to regain the stability that I craved.
Still a long way to go but I'm getting there...

:grouphug: Aaaaaaaand a big slightly dodgey looking grouphug for you Piglet, you are doing so well again today, don't push yourself too much as this must be very emotionally draining for you at the moment xxx