Hoarding - A New Start

blossomhill_2

Sometimes, the dreams that come true are the dreams you never even knew you had

oystercatcher

Hello all,
I found this thread yesterday , have read up tp page 18 so far. Yesterday I felt very empowered, I can relate to so much I have read.

Today I came back, intending to join in, read a bit more and I feel strangely anxious, too much talk of 'Getting Rid of Valuable Things' ! How can people throw out sewing things, or candles ?

I can remember the liberating feeling when I have 'skimmed the scum' off the top of my 'stuff' however I never seem to get much further. The house is too small, I just need more storage and different furniture !! (I know, I know.......)

Please be kind to me, I want to join in but I'm not sure I am ready yet.

I'm going to run away now and will come back and read a bit more when I feel less anxious.....

whitewing

We start with the stuff that doesn't make us so anxious. And it's a journey. So a bit leads on to the next bit.

I was amazed yesterday at how strong the emotion attached to things are for me. When I shredded my course material it freed up 3 ringbinders. These are still good quality. They have a pattern on it. Looking at the pattern is enough to bring back some of the feelings I had with regard to exams. I will keep the folders for now, but at an earlier stage in my dehoarding, I would have probably had to pass them on because of it.

Also, when you declutter, you start to enjoy (and rediscover in hoarder's stashes) what you have. So I get rid of the craft stuff that I don't use (eg for me cardmaking stuff as I want to concentrate on memory albums, and also the memory album stuff that is in a style or size that I no longer like). I still keep craft stuff that I will enjoy using eg 3 guillotines of different sizes.

GreyQueen

Hello and welcome in, Oystercatcher.

I must admit I had anxious moments when I hear about sewing stuff and candles, which is daft as they're not even my sewing stuff and candles.

My flat is titchy (240 sq ft and that includes bits like under the bathtub) so every object has to pass the useful or beautiful test. I choose to make space for candles because it makes me feel comfortable, and I wouldn't want to be without my sewing supplies but they are limited to a small re-purposed CD/DVD storage cabinet which I bought 2nd hand for that very purpose, and one modest box of fabric bits.

I'm in and out of both constantly, so they're active items for me. I guess the same amount of stuff could be classified as a hoard if you never sewed. I did luck out at a bootsale and got a lot of Gutermann threads unused for 10p a reel. Shared some with Mum and have plenty. They don't take up very much space but they represent an incredible money-saving.

As they're kept clean and dry, they'll last decades and if I should pass before they're all used up, they can be used by someone else. I've been privileged to share the contents of other people's sewing boxes when they've died and a spool of thread will last a loooonnng time.

Today I'm about to go out, even though I figured I wouldn't as the recycling bag is "shouting" at me and my elderly neighbour needs something from the shop and I fancy an airing.

Anyone else have noisy clutter yelling at them?

This_Year

oystercatcher wrote: »

Hello all,


Please be kind to me, I want to join in but I'm not sure I am ready yet.

I'm going to run away now and will come back and read a bit more when I feel less anxious.....

Don't be anxious. Take it in your own time - it's not a race, it's just a careful reclamation of your life and you're doing it for you - no-one is going to come around and criticise you for throwing or not throwing something out - it's to make you happier.

I feel a bit overwhelmed today when I look at the sheer amount of !!!!! that's potentially lurking in them there boxes - sort of lost my declutter mojo this weekend after my NY eek I've had it up to here moment and resultant hissy fit!

I'm thinking it's because when I decide something has to go it has to go NOW and with the snow we can't get out to the tip/CS etc and seeing things piled up ready to go out make me scream inwardly And it gives OH the opportunity to have second thoughts and re-rummage :eek:

Whitewing, wise words. And so are yours, Blossomhill.

decogecko

blossomhill wrote: »

Sometimes, the dreams that come true are the dreams you never even knew you had

BH I've heard a slightly different version 'Sometimes on the way to the dream you get lost and find a better one'

Was unable to clear my ninth square yesterday as I didn't want to drive to the cs in the snow and the items were too heavy to carry down to the town.

Videos - my local Oxfam shop takes the pre-recorded ones, I have some disn*y ones to take to them. Then I have absolutely no need for the 2 VHS players I have in my room of despair.

Welcome to the new and returning posters, don't be scared to post, we're a friendly bunch, even if you only get rid of one item - it's one item less in your home. If you don't bring anything into your home that too is a success and shouldn't be ignored. One thing I do now (and it's saved me a lot of money, that I don't have spare either) is ask myself - do I love it? where can it go? do I have use for it? and finally (if I'm umming and erring about something) why am I buying it. If I have no answer then I put the item back and leave the shop. It's a wonderful feeling of triumph when you do it!

Like Byatt I was buying stuff to fill an emotional void and I've actually found having clear spaces in my home and being able to appreciate what things I do have (as I can see the wood for the trees now) is much more fulfilling than buying 'stuff'. I'm still a long way off and I'm worried about slipping back to 'deferred decisions' with things when I have my down times (have bouts of depression) but I'm determined not to let those thoughts derail me.

Deco x

Pitlanepiglet

whitewing wrote: »

We start with the stuff that doesn't make us so anxious. And it's a journey. So a bit leads on to the next bit.

I was amazed yesterday at how strong the emotion attached to things are for me. When I shredded my course material it freed up 3 ringbinders. These are still good quality. They have a pattern on it. Looking at the pattern is enough to bring back some of the feelings I had with regard to exams. I will keep the folders for now, but at an earlier stage in my dehoarding, I would have probably had to pass them on because of it.

Also, when you declutter, you start to enjoy (and rediscover in hoarder's stashes) what you have. So I get rid of the craft stuff that I don't use (eg for me cardmaking stuff as I want to concentrate on memory albums, and also the memory album stuff that is in a style or size that I no longer like). I still keep craft stuff that I will enjoy using eg 3 guillotines of different sizes.

This ^^

There are things I can deal with now that I couldn't deal with a week or two ago when I started this, but there are still things that I can't even look at (letters, some cards etc) and that will get worse as I get to the older boxes. I have so few memories of my Mum that it's all hugely important. There are those who will say I should deal with it and bin the stuff - well I have dealt with losing my Mum, it was over 30 years ago now but the memories are still very precious and I'm not ready to part with those items.

You don't have to bin everything but there will be say 10, 20 or even 30% of the stuff that you're hoarding (or more if you're me!) that isn't pointless - concert tickets from 1986 - really? I don't need those...

Take it easy, be kind to yourself - starting is the hardest part, you didn't get like this in one weekend and you won't clear it in one weekend xxx

frizz2

Hi ||Everyone,
I am still really enjoying this thread and feel so much better that |I am not alone in this hoarding versus decluttering journey. I have sorted through a whole chest of drawers that is in my ensuite. I cannot tell you how many shampoos conditioners face creams eye creams I have. However I have sorted them and now know what I have got. I am determined to first use up what I have before buying anymore.
My utility room has stayed tidy. But, one of my children, who is lovely said to me when his pair of gloves was lost this week, "It is in the abyss of your stuff Mum." I laughed it off but felt terrible inside. I have a small corner in the living room where my stuff accumulates and it was in there somewhere. I have kept the rest of the room tidy.
And then the paper work from their schools! I thought I had put away an important letter but then could not find it! I looked and looked for it and all the time it was in the place I thought it was but tucked behind another sheet. I have wasted a couple of hours looking for it. I have now made a sorting tray for all paper work that needs to be dealt with. I know I am making progress but I still feel so bad that I have not kept on top of things.
I am getting there I must keep positive.

Pitlanepiglet

Frizz2 your son's comment reminded me of something funny, my friend is a hoarder too and her teenage boys (18) savour the times that she goes away, not because they throw wild parties but because they tidy the house whilst she's gone. Their facebook pages say things like "waiting for Mum and Dad to come home and make the place untidy!". The things that tidy children of hoarders have to put up with !

GreyQueen

Just back from a recycling drop-off/ supermarket run for a couple of bits for SuperGran and back in the warm.

Yesterday I was in a charity shop and had an Ooooo! moment. I'm sure you know the emotion.:o Anyway, the cause of this was a steamer tier which would fit my stainless steel 3-tier pan, which already has it's own steamer. Have had it for 20+ years and use it daily.

I had an interior Conversation, went like this: Ooooo, look, a steamer pan section. That's the same size as my pan. Wonder how much they want for it? Gosh, only 50p! That would be so useful when I want to steam different veggies and not have them all jumbled up when I come to serve them. It's such a bargain it would be rude not to...........

And then I had another (more rational) Conversation back again; GQ, you never had the slightest want for an extra tier to your pan until you saw this thing. You've had your own pan since about 1987 and how many times in all those years has it been a problem that veggies may be jumbled together before being served. Exactly, none! You live in a tiny home and all the pans have to live in a very small space and just fit, nestled, but this would be one nestling to far. Yes, it is dirt cheap and yes, the money would go to a good cause but you don't need it. Step away from the shelves and forget it.

So, when you see a preoccupied woman in a shop, you have no idea what a rich interior life her hoarderish and non-hoarderish sides might be engaging in...........:rotfl: