Hoarding - A New Start

cyclingyorkie

blossomhill wrote: »

Well I'd be tempted to make them into a cushion, only bring it out when she visits and have it sitting on a prominent chair.
If she does ask, say "well they didn't fit so I made them into a cushion"

I will give that idea some seious consideration... :T:rotfl:

JayneC

Evening,

Wasn't around yesterday as was DS1s graduation so was away for the day and completely shattered by the time we got back so just went straight to bed. Didn't get up til 11:30 this morning either which is very late for me - but must've needed it eh? Well that's my excuse anyway;).

Interesting to hear about dyslexia traits. I don't think I have dyslexia as I can read/spell/read maps quite well. But I could never do times tables and can't catch/throw very well and was quite clumsy as a child. My middle daughter is similar in that way and she's incredibly messy too. My eldest DS does have dyslexia but is probably the tidiest/most organised of all of us!!

I also felt a bit unnoticed by my mum as a child but looking back now I think it was due to her preoccupation with cleaning and she always encouraged dad to take me and my brother out. I've recently come to realise that her childhood probably had a lot of impact on this as her dad died when she was very small and she had to take on the household responsibilities as my gran had to go out to work - in the days when women, especially women with children, didn't work. I think she did the best she could and I had a lot of freedom and a lot of dolls and books but I did love dolls and books, so that was ok Mostly they were hand me downs or jumble sale finds or made by mum - who was a dressmaker.

I think my hoarding probably has more to do with being married to a gambler so I never knew when we'd have money. So if somebody offered something - be it furniture/food/clothes for the kids/whatever, it was never refused. As I could probably make good use of it at some point. Then I think you just say yes to anything as if you say no people might not offer again...

I still find it hard to say no if I get offered stuff, but I'm better at passing it on now...

On with the progress report - I put a top on yesterday and then realised it was ripped under the arm - straight in the bin. No thinking, 'I'll mend that'. Well I did think it, but told myself I didn't need to - I have more tops....

Put more papers in the recycling bin. I think it breeds;) It really doesn't seem like that much comes in...

Have a bidding war going on over some scraps of felt I've put on e-bay. I nearly put it in the bin. You never can tell can you?

Welcome NoahFence it's brill here you'll like it

whitewing

cyclingyorkie wrote: »

I will give that idea some seious consideration... :T:rotfl:

Make it into a heart shaped cushion and give it back to her on Valentine's Day.

Pitlanepiglet

Well, I'm really doing it. We're digging boxes out of the shed, some of which are my childhood boxes that have been around for years. Today I threw away my school exercise books (I left school in 1986!), I've kept my reports and exam certificates but chucked the books away. I've also gone through years of birthday/christmas and other cards and have binned all but the "important" ones i.e. from my Grandmother who brought me up and similar relatives.

I had a bit of a wobble with letters - letters from ex's that I can't bring myself to read for various reasons - they are going back in the box for now until I feel a bit more able to deal with them when the bulk of the hoarded stuff is gone.

Still got loads to do but it feels like I've made significant steps. So well done me :T

I think tomorrow will be harder, somewhere there will be the rest of the childhood boxes from before my Mum died when I was 12. Most of this is my only link to her and I'm not sure how much I'll be able to get rid of.

I spent too much time going through a box of photos and local papers that came from my grandmother's flat - so many old photos that I'm keeping for now. I'd like to scan them but that will have to wait - definitely not parting with these.

Small steps and we have now found the back wall of the shed - it's been full of crud ever since it was built 4 years ago so it's a miracle in itself. More to do tomorrow.

savingqueen

Hello everyone,

I posted a couple of months back about my hoarding habits and made a little progress and then illness, Christmas, family stuff etc took over and I haven't been in the right frame of mind to get going again. I haven't even been lurking on here

The last few days I've noticed how terrible some areas of the house look with superfulous (sp?) "stuff". Some of it is just untidyness but lots more of it is plain clutter that needs getting rid of. This is just the immediately visible picture - the inards of cupboards and drawers, all full to bursting. I thought by posting again, I might be able to move forward again. I just can't get enough motivation to get going. I am going to set myself a small target for tomorrow and see what happens. Maybe plan a proper decluttering morning one day next week when kids are at school and keep to it every week and also get rid of at least one thing every day.

What do you all do to get motivated? Did you start big or small?

sq:)

whitewing

I have chucked all my notes etc (bar the certificate) from a course that I did last year. Was trying to see if I could trade in the book to Amazon but can't - is that because I didn't buy it from there or because it wasn't worth much secondhand?

Anyway, I am pleased. Normally I would have saved it for a couple of decades.

As I was shredding it all, I realised that I am now starting to view 'things' as equipment to help me through a particular (sometimes tiny) part of my life. I am the important one, the stuff is there to help me be me. Therefore I can pass it on to help someone else or bin it. I want to be able to bounce through life.

Byatt

WW, a lovely post and very insightful.

SQ, no pattern to how I declutter, I'm currently in blah mode and just keeping on top of the basics, but I can go weeks of not doing anything and then have a really good spell. Having said that, the 5 minute rule, do something for 5 mins or 15 mins and stop. It can and is overwhelming to declutter when it's just so much.

All this talk of shopping and clothes, (Hi Noah)...made me remember how I used to shop for the high it gave me...before I became a hoarder type, not that I had loads of stuff, but I would spend even when I knew I didn't have the money and a strange feeling of "oh everything will be alright, it's only one more thing, and I'm saving money because it's so cheap...I deserve something nice...OH is being a pig I'll show him...I work hard...blah, blah." It totally got out of hand, actually I seem to be a train wreck waiting to happen.

It's hard facing your demons and completely exhausting, it's no wonder we sometimes think to hell with it.

Jayne, my paperwork breeds. :eek:

Well done, This Year! :T

Sorry I've missed many, but struggling somewhat this weekend. xxx

whitewing

savingqueen wrote: »

What do you all do to get motivated? Did you start big or small?

sq:)

I started by picking a number of items eg 100. This could be from anywhere in the house, but it makes it fun. You could do it as a family challenge eg 100 items in an hour could be 26 each.

Or a bathroom cull can be easy and visually pleasing. If you have a half used bottle that you haven't touched in a year, chuck it. Yes, it is a waste if times are desperate, but it isn't if times are tough because it will make you think before you make your next purchase.

I would also recommend getting rid of one or two big pieces of furniture that you don't like or which doesn't go. That can make a big difference to space or brain.

Food - anything long past best before dates. Just bin it. Don't keep the containers.

Another good tactic is to start to gather like with like and get rid of excess. Get a box and gather your toiletries. Get your books together - you probably need less than half your cookery books.

Take things out of their usual environment. Fiction books are great in the bedroom or living room. Put a pile on the kitchen counter to sort through and you'll maybe find it easier to think that you've enjoyed it but you don't need it any more.

Last tactic for now is to get familiar with your local recycling centre and recycling bins at the supermarket etc. It is easier I find to get rid of stuff if I can get it out of the house same day (or night). So if you know you're going to the supermarket, you know you can shove the books in for Oxfam at the same time, and the clothes or rags can be dropped off at their bin en route.

Also, try and stop stuff coming in. You can say 'no' but it can be a hard habit to break. But you don't have to keep stuff you're given, and if you do keep it, keep it for a bit, not forever (says I looking at a horrible cat ornament that was given to my daughter that no one else will allow me to throw out).

suzitiger

Arghhhhh too many post I want to reply to and not enough multi-quote :rotfl:
Possibly another dyslexic problem is that I can't remember what people have said unless its in front of me.

blossomhill wrote: »

Re dyslexia - it has a sister condition dyspraxia and some examples sound like they are leaning towards it, so when you look up managing the effects of the condition, do look up both, as spatial awareness is a big thing, it can make you clumsy which can make you trip on hoards etc

Can I add an alternative view on the odd-one out look child?
It can work, very much depending on the personality of the child.
My DD grew up in jumble sale clothes and the school's lost property bin (we had nothing, improved drastically now) and she rocked it! She walked into school, head held high to the sound of other parents saying they wished their kids would wear funky hats etc. She would actually pity other conformist kids, saying "their mum makes them wear stuff from M&S"
As a young woman she is now in a job among very traditional smart people but has a very distinctive look which makes her stand out and get noticed and it is getting her into places where gaps in her CV should be a barrier.
So it can work; it wouldn't have worked for me, as I wanted to meld into the background/have the latest fashions identical to my friends, but for her, it seemed right and was right

Yes I agree that it can work for some people and I love the story about your daughter :T
I am also loving the dyslexia debate. Dsypraxia actually runs in both sides of my family so it is possible that I could also have tendancies. I think my OH may be too as he really struggles with spacial awareness and he struggles with remembering how to do things he has been shown how to do lots of times e.g folding up the futon

DundeeDoll wrote: »

Interesting discussion on dyslexia. As you say mcculloch can manifest in different ways, though difficulty with rote learning (eg learning nursery rhymes, the alphabet and times tables) analogue clocks and right/left are certainly common to the dyslexics in both my and Oh's family. My daughter is so ambidextrous asking her which hand she writes with is no use. Idd she can write one thing backwards with one hand at the same time as something else forwards with the other, with spelling wobbly in both lol. OH has a PhD in maths but failed twice in her first degree. The OU way of studying suited her much better, or naybe it was needing to be more sorted as the initial attempts were straight from school and the OU in her 30s. Her uncle failed his 11+ but went on to Cambridge where he eventualky became professor. My father was offered uni but didnt have the confidence, and my sister dropped out, again lack of confidence. I wonder if this lack of confidence leads to hoarding?

Quite possibly DundeeDoll, I have lots of confidence these days but I struggled greatly in the past and I have always hoarded and now I am finding it easier to let things go Anyone else feel the same way?
I loved hearing all your family success stories. I am also ambidextorus and I can 'mirror' write with no thought or effort (I used to write on steamed up car windows so that people on the other side could read it)

cyclingyorkie wrote: »

My sister gave me pyjamas for Christmas - in a size 12.

I am a size 16!


So do I keep or charity bag?

If you think you could ebay them for a bit of money then do that, otherwise I'd say that the cushion idea someone suggested is the best use :rotfl:

savingqueen

whitewing - love this!

"I am now starting to view 'things' as equipment to help me through a particular (sometimes tiny) part of my life. I am the important one, the stuff is there to help me be me. Therefore I can pass it on to help someone else or bin it. I want to be able to bounce through life."

Thanks so much for the tips. I like the number challenge.

One of my problems is DH is also a hoarder (different types of things to me) and kids have so much stuff, I feel I can't get rid of their things without their consent. I will concentrate on my personal stuff and house stuff as more than enough there to keep me busy for a while. Maybe they will follow suit if I lead by example anyway, if not will have to work on them later!

I am now very good at not buying anything unnecessary - having a tight budget and savings goals have helped hugely. What I am not so good at is getting rid of what I already have. This is exacabated by feeling I need to keep what I have as I can't afford to buy more. hope that makes sense!

I am enjoying reading others' successes and feel a little motivation creeping in... slowly....

sq:)