Hoarding - A New Start

Brighton_belle

Byatt wrote: »

SQ, no pattern to how I declutter, I'm currently in blah mode and just keeping on top of the basics, but I can go weeks of not doing anything and then have a really good spell. Having said that, the 5 minute rule, do something for 5 mins or 15 mins and stop. It can and is overwhelming to declutter when it's just so much.

Yes, this is my system too - I am just keeping on top of day to day basics at the mo, plus not bringing anything else in (apart from paperwork that gets in through osmosis I swear)
I know I will sudden be reinspired/re energised again at some point to begin another round.

whitewing wrote: »

I realised that I am now starting to view 'things' as equipment to help me through a particular (sometimes tiny) part of my life. I am the important one, the stuff is there to help me be me. Therefore I can pass it on to help someone else or bin it. I want to be able to bounce through life.

:T:T A great and inspired thought. Thankyou for sharing.

oystercatcher wrote: »

Please be kind to me, I want to join in but I'm not sure I am ready yet.

I'm going to run away now and will come back and read a bit more when I feel less anxious.....

Welcome Ostercatcher - others have responded to your questions far so I won't repeat, but just wanted to say well done for dipping your toe in. It is fine to run away until you are ready to read a bit more - gradually you will find you can cope with reading more more frequestly and one day take your first step in getting rid of something. All at your own pace.
Most of us start with tackling the easy stuff, not the stuff that makes us most anxious. As your declutter muscle gets strengthed through use, you'll be ale to face the more difficult stuff, but don't worry about that now.

This_Year

GreyQueen wrote: »

So, when you see a preoccupied woman in a shop, you have no idea what a rich interior life her hoarderish and non-hoarderish sides might be engaging in...........:rotfl:

That's me too. I am also picking it up, putting it back, picking it up again, putting it down again, walking away 3 steps then coming back for it - I dither like a dithery thing in a dithery place! :rotfl:

blossomhill_2

I seem to have freaked out a lot of people by saying I was getting rid of candles; let me explain, among them I got rid of one that was given to me when I was at school, I left school in 1975! Rainbow coloured/very funky in its day but is very dated now + has become a sort of honeycomb texture with age
If my real reason for keeping candles is that I may have a power cut then I will be fine with my washing-basketful of plain white functional candles. I know I still have too many but decided to stash them on top of a cupboard with just one in the closest cupboard for grabbing in an emergency.
Burning candles is not a leisure activity for me as I have cats and prefer not to set the house alight, so I have got rid of the ones which were "fashion" candles (inc the 1975) and kept the basic ones.
The 1975 one actually brought back bad memories as a school friends gave me it but my parents didn't see any need for me to give gifts in return, as we were a blue-collar family and their fathers were diplomats, executives etc, so I felt very awkward about it.
If I do have a power cut I think I will cope better with less stuff to trip over, knowing where everyting is and a reasonable quantity of candles

For sewing stuff, like GQ I have inherited other generations' stashes so will be selling the lovely vintage cottons (keeping 4 to display in a shadow box and my late dad's Army sewing kit) and am gradually merging the rest so I only have rust-free pins and needles etc. I have a bag for life gathered together to sort through so far (and still bought a pack of pins in a January sale!)

oystercatcher - I picked up this challenge by listening to other posters a year ago who said "feel the fear and do it anyway" - it was scary, still is sometimes, as I have had to face up to who I am, who I was, who I am not and who I am never going to be - but I haven't regretted reducing my belongings. I always said "I've never regretted things I've bought, only the things I didn't" well now I realise I was in denial and have learnt to regret some of my bad purchases so that I learn not to make the same mistake again

I am very lucky in that my work is mainly something I can do in my head while doing other things which has given me time to do this, but I worry about other people who haven't got that luxury, as they also haven't got time to be wading through things and if they can at least stop the tide coming in they will make progress

whitewing

The credit card that I should have paid off last year that was int free but then rolled over because I messed up, is now transferred to int free and the old cc is closed. Haven't chucked the old card yet - must do that.

The reason this thread (and the previous one) is so popular is that we are all at very different stages of our dehoarding, so there is inspiration for everyone.

I just found another bag of course/revision notes and another same-patterned ringbinder. How I delude myself about what's where. I can't even remember buying 4 ringbinders so I guess I must have used them to procrastinate.

It struck me as I was shredding it all, is that a big part of my problem with exams is exactly where the hoarderish problems come in.

1. On the day after the exam, I could have easily chucked at least half of the contents of my course stuff. I did not need those bits even if I did resit anything. So that's is wasted space for 6 months. (Still not bad by hoarder standards).

2. I wonder how much time I spent working on it, rather than trying and failing to organise it and therefore panicking. I had course notes I wrote in lessons, at least 4 copies of each past paper - all marked and corrected and the marked version not looked at again, 2 revision guides, printed off internet notes from college, internet notes from elsewhere, and my revision notes. All this I carted about with me. All 'evidence' that I was a student, that I am not afraid to tackle my demons, and guess who has demanded to see this evidence. That's right - absolutely nobody. It was the first proper exams I have done since Uni so I can be kind to myself, but goodness me, what wasted years in some respects because the fear of it has held me back in lots of ways. Hope some of you reading this can find it helpful. I have to say the internet is a wonderful life-enhancing resource.

This has been more of a lesson for me than the actual course I think.

lancashirelassie

:THi Peeps,
another lurker here... been reading for months... I too come from a hoarding home and family of dislexics ( 2 sisters are). My home is not too bad now as have worked at it for many years trying to keep it tidyish. I get messed up then it gets tidied - I must admit by my OH though!! he really is very good, got no bad traits like me... he really was fetched up with nothing and no surpluses of any sort.:o It is very strange how many of us have same problems without even realising... its nice/reassuring to know thanks to peoples honesty its nothing to be ashamed of more of yes there is a reason and it can be sorted... not by a magic spell or a Dr, or pills but with help and understanding from anonymous friends who have been there and are still there but working at it at there own pace.
I am also getting OH on board now as he asks when I have been here what have I learned today? We tackled a couple of drawers full of rubbish the other day just to really get rid of bits of naff!! We even did our bedroom drawers together got the scrap gold together and weighed it in.;)Well happy with amount. I had seen a 50% off sale of Mont [EMAIL="Bl@nc"]Bl@nc[/EMAIL] pens... yes I even said to myself several times for over 2 weeks the MSE mantre...I got what I was after;) a late Christmas pressie but will now sell some other nice pens/pencils I own to make up for this.
I never see a job through to completion... I get distracted or find any excuse not to finish it, I do get really angry with myself though. I am trying to train myself to stop this by not doing too big a task or too many at a time.
I really liked the terminolgy used on here - sorry cant remember who said it- Fantasy living. That really has struck a cord with me, I have dug out my old wool(Ikea) bag full and took up my crochet hook again to finish blankets for the young people charity Night Shelter. As I also have debts which I am working on with the extra payment a week challenge I find it even harder to through out things, I must admit though I am now going through my cupboards and finding items to be used and eaten!!
The item into the house means something has to leave is also working for me.. is it me? even with this decluttering I am using many different methodoligies... in the end I dont suppose it doesnt matter what works as long as it does work!!:T

Goldiegirl

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Cassettes and videos have quite a limited value these days. They tend to deteriorate due to a chemical reaction we have no control over, and even if kept in good conditions, there's a good chance they will be unplayable. Where I live, charity shops refused to take them anymore about eight years ago.

Thanks, that's interesting for me. I gave most of my VHS tapes to charity shops some years ago, but I do still have some music cassettes in the loft. I haven't uncovered them yet, but when I do, they'll be for the bin.

I originally joined this thread, as I've been on a decluttering journey for some years now.

My first post on here was something on the lines of 'I'm not a hoarder but ..... ' !

Reading this thread has made me realise that I do indeed have some hoarding tendancies ( I think most people have, to be honest), and although I've been making in roads into the clutter, there were still too many things that I was keeping.

I now find it easier to question if I really need all the things that I have.

Some things have too much sentimental value, which I know I'll keep, but I've also learnt that we don't have to get rid of EVERYTHING. Some things are too preious, but not everything is that vital.

On this thread someone mentioned they'd thrown away their old blood donor card. Now, I haven't given blood for over 30 years ( there was an unfortunatel fainting incident), but, before reading this thread, it would never have occured to me that I didn't need my old blood donors card. So (when it's uncovered again) that'll be something that can go.

I've recognised myself in so many comments on this thread, it's great to know there are others who feel the same as me.

Pitlanepiglet

Phew, finished for the day. Not only do we have a back wall to the shed but it appears to have a floor as well - who knew?!

This dehoarding (is that a word?) really is a journey and a for me at least has been a real learning experience about why I hoard and how my past has affected me.

Up until the last 5 years or so I've always kept birthday and Christmas cards. Having now gone back through some of my childhood boxes I can now see when I started this - my 12th birthday which is the same month that my Mum died. Interestingly there is no card from Mum in my stash although she was still alive on my birthday and I know that Nan or someone would have made sure there was a card.

I had never really thought about why I hoarded until now, but it's fairly clear now it's a reaction to losing the stability that I had; my mum, our home and our animals (we couldn't keep our two dogs after Mum died). I seem to have reacted by trying to keep hold of everything from then and since then.

Understanding why does make it easier - I'm keeping the things that matter but have cleared out the general tat that I've kept since then in an attempt to regain the stability that I craved.

Still a long way to go but I'm getting there...

blossomhill_2

lancashirelassie wrote: »

even with this decluttering I am using many different methodoligies... in the end I dont suppose it doesnt matter what works as long as it does work!!:T

Hi and welcome. The things didn't come in by a single method so don't be surprised ... they will need several ways of leaving

blossomhill_2

Piglet (((((((HUGS))))))

GreyQueen

blossomhill, thanks for clarifying the candle situation. Isn't it mad that so many of us seem to have read your post with an OMG emotion? And yes, getting rid of something which links to negative emotions, even if it is a useful or valuable thing, is the way to go.

I recognise myself in posts about holding on to old notes etc, although my personal journey has seen me round these up and dispose, but not that long ago, in some cases. And I feel as if I should be taking copious notes at each and every workplace training session, to show that I'm paying attention, even if there's a handout covering all this info anyway.........:p

ETA welcome aboard lancashirelassie. The natives are friendly.