Hoarding - A New Start

Woodyrocks

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

I have never seen a mattress that looks all sparkly clean and perfect being disposed of...it'll be worth every penny, just to not have to look at it for another moment.

Hi Jojo (and morning all!),

I am going to make it a point to get the mattress out of the room & house by the end of the month. I agree that I will feel a lot better once that is done.

You must have clear exits - front door, back door and stairs...but what if your daughter is up in her room and there's an electric fault downstairs, where your way upstairs to her and her way out to safety is blocked by mountains of burning stuff belching out poisonous smoke?

It's not about feelings or loss, it's about guaranteeing the continued safety of your daughter. She needs to be safe, she needs her mum to be safe to look after her.

There is a clear path from my daughter's bedroom to the front door and I have always talked to her since she was little about what to do in the event of a fire. I know that my house is not a danger to either of our health or safety. The front room, dining room and my bedroom are the main culprit but even should a fire start in any of these spaces, DD or I would be able to get to the garden door or front door without any difficulty. All windows open fully as well and are not obstructed.

There are suitcases and boxes of possessions from when we moved in here so not uncontained/free-sprawling mountains. Though the paperwork on the dining table and hubby's desk could count as a mountain!

The downstairs hallway (by the front door) that I mentioned is a bother owing to junk mail such as leaflets and free newspapers that is put through the door and just gathers up even though I have put a sign on our door saying we don't want any of it! I guess I could get round to picking them up more frequently

The house looks a mess as opposed to being a fire-trap. I literally cannot be bothered maintaining it and a part of me is just waiting to find our perfect home so we can move...But I realise that this is not going to happen overnight and I want to make it a little bit more homely because it was once though it feels like a different place to me now.

If that fire happened...it would be something trapping her inside instead.

The bulkiest item in the hallway is DD scooter but it hardly takes up any space. There are some boxes of leaflets that I have gathered up that can definitely go in the bin today though.

If you like, you can post up photos....Or just mention things you are thinking about.

I like the idea of accountability so will be hoping to use this thread and all your support as a mobilising agent. I really want to get on top of it all. When we moved in we thought we could manage in the space with all the items we brought with us as it was meant to be temporary (6months). Hence why we thought we could live with the unopened removal boxes and packed suitcases that did not fit in the yellow storage. Seeing these STILL sitting there 2 years later makes me feel tired. We should have simply got a bleeding bigger storage space in the beginning and then I wouldn't have to deal with this lol

p.s wishing everyone a positive day :A

Goldiegirl

It's certainly helpful to work with someone. My husband is a great help, and I've often discussed the whole keeping/hoarding/decluttering thing with friends.

Also this thread has been very helpful.

After a while you get into a mindset of questioning why you keep things, and it makes it much easier to let things go when you effectively have that discussion with yourself.

This morning I've got a chap round to cut back the larger shrubs in the garden, so to pass the time I've looked at a couple of drawers in the kitchen, and the cupboard under the stairs.

I've pulled a few things out for eBaying and some papers have gone to the recycling bin.

But as I was in the kitchen I started to question why I've kept other things.

In the late 1970's my MIL got four Dartington glass corn on the cob dishes. We liked them so much we bought four at the factory shop in Devon on our honeymoon. When my MIL died we kept her dishes, so now I'm the owner of eight corn on the cob dishes.

Although I enjoy cooking, I don't like entertaining people at the house, I find it far two stressful. Only once have I used all the dishes at one time, and I'm never going to have more than two people round for a meal in the future.

Furthermore, although I love corn on the cob, ever since I had root canal treatment on one of my front teeth I've been nervous about foods that you need to bite into, so corn on the cob has been off the menu for a while.

So, now I've thought about it, I think my MIL's dishes will go. I think there'll be interest on eBay, so I'll get them photographed.

I'll keep the ones we bought, as I do like them and they are a souvenir from our honeymoon.

However, if I hadn't been involved with this thread, I'm sure I'd have never have thought that some of the dishes could go.

Likewise with some other things in the kitchen cupboards, I think some of them can go.

I think you end up getting into the habit of questioning the necessity of having 'stuff'.

blossomhill_2

Goldiegirl wrote: »

I'll keep the ones we bought, as I do like them and they are a souvenir from our honeymoon

How about just keeping two?

whitewing

Dealing with the junk mail on the same day that it comes into the house makes life a whole lot easier, and gets you into a habit of getting rid.

I also find it good to open all post straight away and deal with the envelopes/wrappers and bits I didn't need straight away. Then staple together if there is more than one sheet per sender. Even if you then just put it into an assigned box (e.g March post), you can deal with it when it becomes more pressing but at least you'll know where it is. Eventually you'll feel strong enough to keep on top of incoming mail so that will really cut down on reminders etc.

Free papers also need to be recycled. No need to keep them for any useful purpose - you'll always have something available when you need. Anytime we go to the recycling centre, we take all carrier bags so there are none in the drawer. But I have always had one magically appear in the interim if I've needed one.

guinea_pig_girl

Goldiegirl wrote: »

Also this thread has been very helpful.

After a while you get into a mindset of questioning why you keep things, and it makes it much easier to let things go when you effectively have that discussion with yourself.

However, if I hadn't been involved with this thread, I'm sure I'd have never have thought that some of the dishes could go.

I think you end up getting into the habit of questioning the necessity of having 'stuff'.

So true!
Get so used to things being there, or just acccept that fact that they are a fixture.



Well done This Year - that is amazing progress!!! Cakes all round!

Managed to give friend with new baby, 3 tiny t shirts and a penguin sleep suit (don't ask!) from my baby clothes stash. She has a baby, I don't.

Also managed to put a wee face cloth with Mr Jelly on it in the rag bag. I have kept this for years freom when I was wee, and it really looks ragged now. Almost gave it to friend for her wee boy, but it was really not great. In rag bag, but not out yet. Why is it so hard sometimes?

guinea_pig_girl

Woodyrocks

Please have a large virtual hug, wish I could make you a cup of tea and give you a hand.

Any stuff you throw out is NOT throwing out your OH, a lot of it will just be things that are only taking up space and are not helping you and your girl grieve.

There will be things that you and your daughter need to keep just now, and thats ok. Maybe in time, these will go too.

We are still trying to work out what do do with things taking up the attic space, and my dad died 18 years ago

A lot of it is just stuff and makes me sad and tired that we are still trying to let go of things. It doesn't help that I inherited the "That might be useful, lets keep it!" strategy....

whitewing

Woody,

Two things from today's post chime little warning bells to me, and these are said with love not criticism.

1. Your house in its current state is affecting your/your daughter's health because it is keeping you stuck in a demotivated rut, and it is stopping your daughter having space and friends round. (Not that you have to have friends round but it is good if you're not anxious at the thought). It is also stopping or delaying you having workmen round.

2. You think you need extra storage space as a solution to your problems. We have all gone through a stage in the process where we think we need extra space or better storage systems. I can honestly say though it is working much, much better for me to have less stuff and acknowledge that the stuff that I do have has a limited lifespan or use for me. (Not that I am a throwaway person, it isn't about always buying and never keeping, for me it is about getting the best quality item I can afford at the time, having it for as long as I am using it, and passing it on.)

Maybe you could list the sorts of things that you have in storage? Depending on what it is, you could perhaps dump or pass on most of it and buy new from the money you save on not paying for storage but I guess it depends if some of it is furniture etc for your forever house.

Granny28

Woodyrocks ((((((hugs)))))).
Starting is the hardest part - the task seems so big and you think it will take forever and you just don't know where to begin. So you don't.
But you have taken the first step and set a date for dealing with the mattress. So that is good. We will all be thinking of you and 'virtually helping'.

Goldiegirl

blossomhill wrote: »

How about just keeping two?

I think it'll be 4 for now, with a view to going down to 2 at some point in the future.

Baby steps and all that !:rotfl:

Florenceem

Goldiegirl wrote: »

It's certainly helpful to work with someone. My husband is a great help, and I've often discussed the whole keeping/hoarding/decluttering thing with friends.

Also this thread has been very helpful.

After a while you get into a mindset of questioning why you keep things, and it makes it much easier to let things go when you effectively have that discussion with yourself.

This morning I've got a chap round to cut back the larger shrubs in the garden, so to pass the time I've looked at a couple of drawers in the kitchen, and the cupboard under the stairs.

I've pulled a few things out for eBaying and some papers have gone to the recycling bin.

But as I was in the kitchen I started to question why I've kept other things.

In the late 1970's my MIL got four Dartington glass corn on the cob dishes. We liked them so much we bought four at the factory shop in Devon on our honeymoon. When my MIL died we kept her dishes, so now I'm the owner of eight corn on the cob dishes.

Although I enjoy cooking, I don't like entertaining people at the house, I find it far two stressful. Only once have I used all the dishes at one time, and I'm never going to have more than two people round for a meal in the future.

Furthermore, although I love corn on the cob, ever since I had root canal treatment on one of my front teeth I've been nervous about foods that you need to bite into, so corn on the cob has been off the menu for a while.

So, now I've thought about it, I think my MIL's dishes will go. I think there'll be interest on eBay, so I'll get them photographed.

I'll keep the ones we bought, as I do like them and they are a souvenir from our honeymoon.

However, if I hadn't been involved with this thread, I'm sure I'd have never have thought that some of the dishes could go.

Likewise with some other things in the kitchen cupboards, I think some of them can go.

I think you end up getting into the habit of questioning the necessity of having 'stuff'.

I have some in the cupboard - plan to part with them.