Hoarding - A New Start

whitewing

That reminded me that quite a few sheets of the paper I shredded today were actually emotionally-laden parts of other people's issues that I had tried to help them fix.

Some relatives don't have internet and ask me to look things up - they don't realise the work involved sometimes.

Florenceem

Found lots of stuff to list on Ebay. Mr F is not much help - he either thinks - keep something or if I say - it is off to the CS - he says - what about Eb?

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Florenceem wrote: »

Found lots of stuff to list on Ebay. Mr F is not much help - he either thinks - keep something or if I say - it is off to the CS - he says - what about Eb?

You've already made up your mind. Don't need to worry about his doubt. You've made a decision. Act on it.

mcculloch29

Thanks to all for some very thought provoking posts.

Byatt... maybe you were running for the wrong train.

I used to feel that way when I was childminding, but my DD (34, works pt) told me how much she appreciated that I was at home for her as she was growing up. The house was often messy, but she didn't mind.

My DS has made some very upsetting and cutting comments about what things were like when he was younger, having to share me with others and the house being so messy (Always said when he has had a few drinks and has Dutch courage to have a go at me. He wouldn't be as blunt,or cruel, frankly, when sober.).

DD told me that was his problem, not mine, I'd done the job really well, to get professional satisfaction, and if he couldn't see that, that was his loss.

When circumstances permitted and my children were either away or earning, I looked up a different timetable for my train (to follow a metaphor) and after a lot of hard work I got there.

DD is of the opinion I pretty much got it as right as I could have, I know she is as proud of me as I am of her.

My mum was a nurse - our house was immaculate. She worked pt to have time to care for the family, and although money was very tight, I think she got it right as well.

I wish she had made me help her more as it took me many years to learn to tidy up after myself properly - I left home at 18 and married rather than take up my place at Uni to read English. She let me get on with studying rather than make me do more.

Incidentally, I can remember young teenage friends of mine who had far more comfortable, interesting and chaotic lifestyles saying how they loved coming to my house, as it was always so tidy.

They had huge detached houses with massive gardens, ours was a 3 bed simply furnished council semi (with a massive and very tidy garden.).
I told my Mum that and she was thrilled. Bless her...

Byatt

Mcculloch, you are probably right. Or I get confused and get on the wrong train...

I know I am still sitting with my black dog, but I am progressing, I am trying to live in the now and get out, which I have done this week, I've also started walking, but sore feet have stopped me for a few days, until I get some proper socks!

I'm hoping the uni degree I got late in life using decisions that were not sound, will at some stage come in useful. Whilst I feel I could be of use to society, ageism is rife and well and even with the retirement age being put back, working in your 60's after a long period being at home, just doesn't seem to be happening for me. Other than my small business of course. I am having some trouble coming to terms with feelings of usefulness although I'm currently offering myself as a volunteer for supporting literacy. I miss using my brain but I'm also aware my short term memory is pretty appalling now and I just don't retain what I read.

Sorry I'm rambling. I'm ok, just rambling.

VJsmum

I know this has been mentioned on the thread before (I think it was this thread), but it sounds like some people may find some help from this

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Who-Moved-My-Cheese-Amazing/dp/0091816971/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1360262549&sr=8-1

I have just ordered a copy for a penny (plus p&p), as someone borrowed my old one and i never got it back.

This_Year

You lot have been busy!
I've done nothing much apart from get in from work, fall into the chair and be tired until bedtime

Plan to do more next week though as I have the week off and can wake up in my own time rather than to the cruel shrill of the alarm clock before the streets are properly aired. I function best when not shocked out of a deep sleep.

Does anyone know why I have 9 packs of the identical hair dye when it's not been on offer at all? Did I really buy one, then lose it in my overcluttered house so buy another and repeat?

Liked the 12 challenge. Impressed by the 100 item sling-out!

Pitlanepiglet

whitewing wrote: »

I like the details. It makes me appreciate the efforts I do make.

I'll be controversial - I don't like posts with all the details, I find it makes me anxious and the thread has then grown by multiple pages when I log it. The Decluttering thread has loads of posts with individual details on it. Not being nasty, just being honest about how it makes me feel

Goldiegirl

I do post on the de-cluttering thread as well.

Each weekend I post a summary of what's gone out of the house. It's just for my personal information really, I feel I can see what I've done in the week.

I like other people's lists, as it gives me ideas on what else I can de-clutter next. But on the other hand, I understand the anxiety element too, sometimes it feels as if everybody is doing more than me!

But when I start feeling like that, I have a word with myself, and remind myself it's not a competition, and we are all going at our our pace.

I like the 'hoarding' thread for the insightful discussion. I've begun to understand my motives for hanging on to things, after joining this thread.

Pitlanepiglet

Goldiegirl wrote: »

I like the 'hoarding' thread for the insightful discussion. I've begun to understand my motives for hanging on to things, after joining this thread.

This is what has been really useful for me, to hear other's experiences and to see how others tackle the hurdles.

I dip in and out of the decluttering thread, when things are going well I can deal with it but when I'm not achieving much because I'm working or similar then it makes me feel like a failure and then I stop reading and that's when the temptation to give up the dericharding kicks in and that's a really slippery slope for me! The hoarding thread doesn't make me feel like that, it makes me realise that it is difficult and as long as I'm not bringing more in and I'm clearing bits an pieces, it doesn't matter if I'm not clearing 50 items in a day (or even 5!) I'm still making progress.