Am I right to be annoyed.

Yorkie1

Well done for reporting this to the police and for contacting Orange.

You asked whether to let SS know about the texts. I would say yes, because only then do they have a full picture of the situation. It is up to them to decide what, if anything, they do about the situation.

As for the police going to visit her, it's entirely your call but my thoughts would be that it might be a good idea.

Yes, your sister is angry at the moment, and you might feel that it might aggravate the situation further, but it might just be the thing which nips this in the bud before things escalate any further.

A visit from SS is one thing, which can make people defensive, but to be formally warned by police officers in uniform is more scary to many people.

And please stop worrying about wasting police time. You are not doing that.

Yorkie1

Hazel_ wrote: »

I've been thinking, Maybe someone can correct me if I'm thinking wrong. If I get a new number and pass it on to my younger sister, Surely she might pass it on to my eldest sister. even if I ask her not to.

If I was to give a number to my younger sister. I was going to get a new phone and just get a sim for my old one, and give her the spare sim number if that sounds ok?

It is always a risk that your younger sister might give out the new number, but only you know her well enough to assess how likely it is to happen in practice. Does your younger sister waiver in who she supports / give in or get intimidated occasionally?

I'd be minded to get a new unlocked cheap phone, put your old number SIM in that one, so that you continue to have an evidence trail if your eldest sister continues to try to contact you (switch it off most of the time, just check on it from time to time), and then put the new SIM in your existing phone.

Or you could just ask Orange to decommission your existing number, replacing it with the new SIM / number.

Either way, there's quite a lot of hassle because you have to let everyone else know your new number - but at least if it's possible to retain your old number, you will be able to receive messages from other friends etc.

Not entirely sure I've thought all that through properly, but it may give you some more food for thought.

ecgirl07

Hazel_ wrote: »

I've been thinking, Maybe someone can correct me if I'm thinking wrong. If I get a new number and pass it on to my younger sister, Surely she might pass it on to my eldest sister. even if I ask her not to.

If I was to give a number to my younger sister. I was going to get a new phone and just get a sim for my old one, and give her the spare sim number if that sounds ok?

given the abusive texter is a family member the chances of her getting your new number is high - presumably you would give it to your nieces making it easy for their mum to "get" it from them.

I would continue with your regular number as 1. your nieces have it and 2. any threats your sister texts will in the end work against her and you are better to have a record of that than not.

As a teacher in a deprived area I can tell you the effects of neglect are massive and your sister needs help to sort it and realise she is not doing her job as a parent. Neglected children are hungry, have dirty clothes, dirty hands, dont have great emotional intelligence, dont get bedtime stories and quality family time. Well done on tackling the issue and getting your sister the help she needs, which is social services involvement.

Hazel_

I was thinking of moving networks, But my boyfriend suggests sticking with orange until the situation calms down then port my number out.

Hazel_

I really don't know what to do, I don't want the abuse but then I don't want my neices not to be able to contact me

Yorkie1

I must say I had temporarily forgotten the central people in this - your nieces. Sorry for that.

I appreciate your point that you want your nieces to be able to contact you. Do they have their own mobiles; how do they contact you at present?

Things are very 'raw' for you and your sister today. I see that there was no abuse overnight. Can you hang on in there for a week or so, to see how things pan out in the short term?

At least if she's texting you, you have some idea of what she's thinking. If you changed your number, you'd still be worrying without any information, perhaps?

heretolearn_2

Well done for being so brave and taking action to help your nieces, they are very lucky to have an aunt like you.

don't worry about calling the police, this is part of their job, they are obviously happy to help you, and i'm sure they'd rather do a few minutes preventative work now than have to deal with something nastier later on, if you think of it that way. Not saying it would actually turn nasty, most bullies are just full of hot air, but from the police point of view it's worth investing a little time now to reduce the risk of escalation even further.

Could you keep your current number just for family? Then your nieces can still contact you, and the rest of family, and none of them will know you even have a different number. And have a new phone for boyfriend/friends etc. That way you won't constantly be stressed by current phone ringing a lot, and at least you can relax if it's your new phone beeping, as you know it couldn't possibly be her.

Hazel_

There is a house phone and they dial me on that.

I just want the abuse to stop. My phone scares me at the minute. its horrible

Yorkie1

I'm a little confused here now - are you thinking of changing your landline, or mobile number, or both?

Is it your mobile number which is causing you the most anxiety at present, or the landline?

Has your eldest sister contacted you again since the first set of contact?

bestpud

I know I'll get slated for this, but this whole thread is starting to look suspect.

How far it has come since the first post and I'm half expecting gunmen with grenades by the weekend!

Reminds me of certain people I know who love drama and revel in this sort of interaction.

Apologies if I'm wrong OP.