Not 'doing' Santa - part two

bylromarha

Poppy9 wrote: »

You have me pondering about whether I lie to my DD and I'm not sure if I do or don't. I know I don't deliberately lie about something major but perhaps I have been economical with the truth.

I think we all do what works best for our kids at that time don't we? Economical with the truth isn't lying in our book - you are telling them the truth of what they need to know.

If DD asked me how old I was the 1st time I had sex the answer will be "I'll tell you when you're old enough" - and decide when she is old enough when she's about 30 :rotfl:

pipkin71

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

(Although I also think it's unfair to say that everyone does it because whilst it might be common behaviour, I really don't think all children do.)

No, not all children do - I have one who has and one who hasn't.

They all have their own way of expressing themselves though, which may not be the way we would want them to but it isn't necessarily door slamming

mumps

pipkin71 wrote: »

No, not all children do - I have one who has and one who hasn't.

They all have their own way of expressing themselves though, which may not be the way we would want them to but it isn't necessarily door slamming

I had two who did and two who didn't.

mumps

Poppy9 wrote: »

I just remembered I did do an outright lie when she asked me some years ago how old I was when I first had sex. I told her 30!!!!!

I don't discuss my sexlife with anyone I certainly wouldn't with my kids, I think they would throw up or die of embarrassment. :rotfl:

mumps

pipkin71 wrote: »

I haven't read the other thread - I started to but it's quite long

I can honestly see where the OP is coming from and I'm not sure it is hypocrisy to create a nice time where the child is aware that santa isn't real but can still enjoy the excitement of christmas eve.

That said, I have no idea what was said on the other thread so that may change how I see things. It wouldtake days for me to read through it though so my opinions are pretty much formed from what is on this thread.

I don't think it is hypocrisy to create a nice time but I think alot of us got a bit fed up of being accused of lying. The OP was very, very definite that she would never lie. We discussed various scenarios like would you tell your teenage daughter her acne was OK or tell the truth. The OP would tell the truth. The one I brought up was in relation to dementia, would you lie to someone with dementia about say their partner being at the shops rather than telling them dozens of times a day that they were dead. Can you imagine the horror of going through that with them? The OP said, "I wouldn't personally have said that to the dementia sufferer. I can only say again that I do not lie under any circumstances, that I find another thing to say instead that is not a lie, and that I believe this to be the preferable way to behave." Now she is absolutely entitled to have that view, I don't agree with it but I am a grown up and have different opinions to other people on a regular basis but it does seem a bit much when someone has made a bit of a song and dance about honesty to this level and how they would never do Santa and then a few days later come on and tell how they "got round" it.

I have every respect for other people's beliefs, in my own family we have several different religions and my kids were brought up to join in with Solstice, Diwali, Eid and Hanukkah celebrations (sorry if I got the spellings of any of those wrong) as well as Christian festivals as we are Christians. I have never felt the need or inclination to celebrate hypocricy.

shellsuit

I lied to my 3 and a half year old son this year. I told him Santa would bring him Talking Emily (from thomas and friends) if he was a good boy.

Do I care that I lied?

Not a jot! It's a magical time for children and Christmas brings out the child in me, so much so that I still sob when I hear the Salvation Army band play, and I go to the Grotto and call fat Paul from Peckham, 'Santa'


When I was a kid, I believed in Santa and I also believed in the Nativity Story even more.

I thought you were a Christian anyway Skinty?

There is nobody here that can prove God (whichever God that may be) is real, just like you can't prove Santa isn't real.

I completely understand people who don't celebrate Christmas at all, because of their faith or whatever, but to not have Santa, yet still want the magic and gifts etc, is contradictory.



Anyway, I believe

pipkin71

shellsuit wrote: »

but to not have Santa, yet still want the magic and gifts etc, is contradictory.

I disagree.

If it were not for coca-cola, lots of children who believe in the jolly fat man in a red suit would not have that image to believe in and I'm sure children had lovely christmases before his introduction.

I still want the magic and gifts for my children, who are too old to believe in santa. Do we stop now because they are too old to believe? No, we just do other things to make it magical.

Santa is not the be all and end all of having a magical christmas even if, for many families he is an integral part.

cbrown372

I hope to goodness the op never takes her child to Disney as she will spend her entire time saying all the characters aren't actually real and that Tinkerbelle can't fly

shellsuit

pipkin71 wrote: »

I disagree.

If it were not for coca-cola, lots of children who believe in the jolly fat man in a red suit would not have that image to believe in and I'm sure children had lovely christmases before his introduction.

I still want the magic and gifts for my children, who are too old to believe in santa. Do we stop now because they are too old to believe? No, we just do other things to make it magical.

Santa is not the be all and end all of having a magical christmas even if, for many families he is an integral part.

She doesn't want Santa because he isn't real, yet empty Santa sacks which will be filled by morning because of some magic words and magic dust isn't real either - that's what I meant by contradictory.

pipkin71

shellsuit wrote: »

just like you can't prove Santa isn't real.


Anyway, I believe

It is very easy to prove santa - the man in the red suit, with the white beard, isn't real. Simply don't buy any christmas presents next year and see if any magically appear under the christmas tree in the morning.