Would you invite a stranger for christmas if it upset your kids?

sulkisu

I have just endured a lecture about the true spirit of christmas and wondered what others thought.

Background is a friend has three children 5,7 & 8. 8year old is autistic and easily upset by anything unfamiliar, including strangers in the house. 7 year old is painfully shy to the point where he is receiving help for it.

Anyway 2 young formerly homeless men has been housed in a flat above her and she has invited them to spend the day with her family. Its a nice idea, I understand that but her eldest children are already freaking out at the thought. 7 year old says he is staying in his room. She asked what I would have done and I said under the circumstances I would have taken the neighbours a christmas dinner to go plus a few drinks, but wouldnt have invited them for the day if it upset my kids that much. She did say that she would not have done it but for the fact that it was christmas, she also wants her children to understand the true spirit of christmas. I know that there is no right or wrong answers here, but just wondered what other people think.

rising_from_the_ashes

I think I'm with you ...... it's a lovely idea but I certainly wouldn't be stressing my family out if I knew it would upset them.

I'm sure some dinner & a couple of drinks would be appreciated though and would happily do this.

marisco_2

Her priority should be to her kids and their emotional wellbeing. To help strangers at the expense of how young children will feel is not worth it.

As you sensibly suggested, she could have shown her kids the true spirit of xmas by being kind to the neighbours with offers of food and drink, without imposing them on sensitive children.

I imagine the neighbours will be left feeling rather uncomfy by the kids distress.

Goldiegirl

I think it would be very neighbourly to take some food up to them, but personally I wouldn't take it further than that.

I assume these two men are people she hasn't spoken to before and doesn't really know them - it that was the case I just wouldn't want complete strangers in my house, at Christmas or any other time.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

I'd be tempted to do it in the hope that the two would begin to learn that sometimes they will have to deal with situations that make them uncomfortable.


Well, if I were the sort of person who thinks there's a true spirit of Christmas - a friend is doing similar, following a 'talk' from an elder of her Church, as it's a chance for her to spread the word, apparently.


But, as I'm not, no way.

jaqui59

Because of how the children are reacting, I, without any doubt, wouldn't do it.

Sambucus_Nigra

Perhaps they want to spend the day in their own home - I'd have taken them a veggie box rather than have strangers in my own home.

Brighton_belle

No, I wouldn't have done it - 2 of her children have quite severe socialising rpproblems and have to deal with situations they find uncomforatble probably every day so this is just a continuation of that. They are only young once and this is potentially one spoiled xmas. I should imagine the young men will very uncomfortable when two of the children hide in their bedrooms.
I think the children could have learned a lot from mum taking them a meal ( and explaining ot the men why she can't easily have them in her home).

However, it is of course her call to make and it maybe something that she needs to do for her own well being. And the sentiment behind it is a lovely one.

geri1965_2

Hmmm, it is a difficult one. At some point the children are going to have to come out of their comfort zone though, unless she is going to keep them wrapped up in cotton wool all their lives.

Person_one

geri1965 wrote: »

Hmmm, it is a difficult one. At some point the children are going to have to come out of their comfort zone though, unless she is going to keep them wrapped up in cotton wool all their lives.

Having strangers invited into your home for Christmas without being consulted about it isn't exactly something adults face every day though!

rising_from_the_ashes

geri1965 wrote: »

At some point the children are going to have to come out of their comfort zone though, unless she is going to keep them wrapped up in cotton wool all their lives.

I totally agree with this too .... but on Christmas Day?