*The Holly and the Ivy* and the You Know What 2013 Chatter Thread.

Own_My_Own

I have bought ONE CARDIGAN in the sales today (on-line). I just cannot find anything I want. I usually buy quite a few bits to put away in the sales. But not this year.

Will have a look tomorrow in the shops, but I'm just not feeling it. This year, because I am doing themed hampers, I am limited on what I can get.
I am not bothered, as I have ALL YEAR to find the bargains.

And Dads hamper can't be done until later in the year, as it is mainly food and drink.

But it does feel a little strange.

kingfisherblue

Hi everyone, just need a quick rant. I have been on my own for almost eight years now, after my husband left us to start a new family elsewhere. He still sees the kids each week, but doesn't ring them in between, even if he has promised he will. I have always allowed him as much contact with the kids as he wants.

The only time I put my foot down is at Christmas. He drives up to his parents' house with new wife and daughter, and then usually picks up our kids for a couple of hours. I always collect them at 12 and take them to my sister's for our dinner. He is often later than the time he sets though, and then argues that he needs to keep the kids for a couple of hours longer. I stand firm though, as it messes up everyone else's plans.

This year, he wouldn't give any time at all to collect the kids. I decided to take the kids to grandparents' house, which nan and grandad were quite happy with. I asked if they minded me being 45 minutes later than usual to collect the children, as I wanted to take my mum to church. Not a problem, and it gave them more time with their dad as well. I obviously arranged a later meal with my sister.

Well, first my ex turns up late -again. He would have had little over an hour with the kids if the times had been the same as usual. He then argued that I had said that our daughter, who was working until mid afternoon, was supposed to be picking the kidds up and taking them to my sister's. Errrmmmm........ No. This had never even been suggested. I had discussed everything with my ex and then sent a text to confirm the arrangements, and he did not object, text back, or suggest that our daughter collect the boys.

When i did arrive to collect the lads as arranged, having verbally confirmed the time on Christmas morning (which was when he had a wobbler about it not being daughter collecting them), I took them out to the car after they had said their goodbyes. He then started to rant and rave to my mum about meeting early, and stating I would collect them at 1.30. This time had never been mentioned by anyone. He swore at my mum, who just said she wasn't listening to this, and she walked out. She told me what had happened when we had driven off.

He then had a go at our daughter when she visited after work, but she told him that the arrangements had never included her picking up the lads, and that he was spoiling Christmas Day with his temper.

So, I can expect a very unpleasant time on Saturday when I drop the lads off, even though I have done nothing wrong.

For those who think I am unfair having the children for the larger part of Christmas Day, I have always given him the option of him having the overnight, which he refuses. I have also offered to let him pick them up as early as he wants, even if they haven't opened their presents. He refuses. I want to spend the time with my children at Christmas, and they enjoy the time with me, my mum, and my sister's family - their cousins are the same age and with the same interests. Also, probably irrelevant, but I deal with all of the every day stuff all year and he sees them for about six hours once a week. He has never shown any interest in attending medical appointments for our older son, who is severely disabled, even when he lived at home. He has never sorted anything out with schools, or attended a single parents evening. He shows no interest in the fact that our younger son has depression and has needed counselling, and requires a mentor at school. He doesn't bother with school plays, fundraisers, fayres, etc. even getting child support took four and a half years, a court appearance, and a deduction of earnings order. Yet he feels he has the right to dictate what happens on Christmas Day and not even give me an expected time to collect the children.

I won't stop him seeing the kids on Christmas Day, as they still love their dad, which iss it should be. I am tempted to go away for Christmas next year, but I am not that selfish, as it would deprive my children from spending time with other family members. I will stick to my guns, though, and keep texts in case he argues that something is not as we agreed.

Rant over - apologies. Other than that, we all had a great Christmas and Boxing Day. I have my eye on a couple of fancy boxes that I can reuse next year, and have saved the ribbons from the crackers, for using with Rainbows and Brownies. I have some stuff left inmy cupboard, so will list those in a new notebook and allocate as presents for next year. I am hoping to pick up some stuff in the sales as well, so a good start to next Year's birthdays and Christmas.

I will keep popping into the thread, hopefully without boring you all with my problems

See you soon,

KFB x

Linda-Lou

Feisty - no problem with recycling gifts. You can re-gift them to someone who will make more use of them. Better that than them sitting unwanted in a cupboard, gathering dust, until you finally give them to the charity shop because you need the room ( can you hear the voice of experience speaking here? ).
Some people find it really hard to think of suitable presents, even for their nearest and dearest, and no-one gets it right all the time. So accept with thanks, then pass them on to be loved by another.

Just my twopenneth! xxx

SIRENS

Hello All,
Lovely to have a shiney new thread, hope you all had a lovely Christmas and Boxing day.
Kids were up at 2:30 yesterday:eek:
So today was a little calmer and I was not dropping off half way through the day!
Managed to do a little shopping in the sales online, new raincoat and winter coat for next year for dd, new work coat for me, some slipper socks for ds stocking next year and a couple of gifts for birthdays throughout the year, oh and also best friends Christmas Present for next year!
Am very pleased!:T

SugarSpun

Organising Christmas 2013 because I am just like that. Traffic light system in operation - red (not started), orange (in progress), green (done).

Cards, Wrap, Tags all bought
DD's party bag stuffers bought (10)
Start made on charity backpack contents

Birthdays:

DD - slip and slide, DVD, books
DH - small things done; main thing needs some planning (am planning to get him a chest freezer and a quarter of a pre-butchered cow to put in it).
Also need to get him something from DD.
Mum - earrings, book
Dad - HM laptop lapdesk
Brother - laser
Niece - books, post office set
Unrelated Faux Nephew - books
Unrelated Faux Niece - books
Friend 1 - half done, have a print but need it framed
Friend 2 - cosmetics bag, cosmetics, phoneholder
Friend 3 - pants, nail varnish set
Emergency Friend Gifts - 5
Emergency Kid Gifts - 5

Special Days:

Valentines Day - HM wallet with photos in it (to make)
Anniversary - "Fruit and Flowers" - Zen garden (to make)
Mothers Day - bracelets, print (need to get it framed)
Father's Day (for DH) - pocket watch exploding photoframe (to make)
Father's Day (for my dad) - pocket watch exploding photoframe (to make)

Christmas:

DD - age-appropriate computer learning thing, dolls house, books, dress up box (in progress)
DH - Nerf guns, socks, man crafts (flavoured toothpicks, animal head magnets), mandolin, stocking fillers and something from DD ** this list will increase a bit; I am aiming for ~8 parcels plus stocking.
Mum - scarf, gloves, shoes, umbrella, silly things, shoes
Dad - man crafts (HM draughts set, chutney assortment, etched glass)
Brother - man crafts (animal butt magnets, car air freshener, body scrub), socks
Niece - dolls house
Unrelated Faux Nephew - toy farm
Unrelated Faux Niece - finger puppet circus
Friend 1 - legwarmers, bag
Friend 2 - legwarmers, journal
Friend 3 - legwarmers, journal

blue_eyed_girl

Feisty - I would say 'go for it' with the recycling of pressies - it makes sense imo .

Have not been out and about yet for the sales but might venture out later in the week. Received a jumper from DH and I was going to see if it has been reduced in the sale and if it has, return it and buy another one. Is this a bad thing to do??

My b'day is 2nd Feb btw.

Looking forward to joining you all through 2013.


b_e_g

FeistyFidget

Thank you everyone. I was just a bit worried that it was taking 'cheap' to the extreme. I got flack for saying I was sticking to a budget of £10 a head this year, one family member even suggested that it would be difficult for me to purchase her children a suitable gift for this amount! :eek:

This year I plan to 'try' and slash this figure to £5 by combining sale items and hand made gifts - fingers crossed

jakesbakescakes

Feisty - have you REALLY only been on this thread since November???? WOW! In the nicest possible way it feels like you have been here forever! . "re-gifting" is a great idea in my opinion and I shall certainly be re-gifting a couple of xmas pressies including a handbag that is 'so not me' but i know my sis will love it.
Sugarspun - loving your traffic lights system - might try that myself
Newbies - welcome one and all...
isn't it soooo exciting to be planning Christmas 2013!!! lol!!!

black_cat

Feisty - Re-gifting is a great idea - but I don't have anything I don't want this year!

Today was going to be a NSD but I had to go out to a supermarket to buy some medication for OH. Picked up some wrapping paper, paper napkins and 4 gift packs at great prices. I make my own gift tags - and have enough for the next 10 years (and that's without the ones I'll make out of this year's cards)! Still have cards leftover but I'm sure I'll pick some more up in the sales.

DH feeling much better but we're both very tired after an early dash to the hospital. Things are looking up!

kingfisherblue - You sound as though you handle your feelings towards your ex in a way that's good for your children. Must be very hard. Don't worry about Saturday - enjoy the rest of of your break:)

Sugarspun - birthdays and special days too - you're an inspiration!

Own_My_Own

jakesbakescakes wrote: »

Feisty - have you REALLY only been on this thread since November???? WOW! In the nicest possible way it feels like you have been here forever! . "re-gifting" is a great idea in my opinion and I shall certainly be re-gifting a couple of xmas pressies including a handbag that is 'so not me' but i know my sis will love it.
Sugarspun - loving your traffic lights system - might try that myself
Newbies - welcome one and all...
isn't it soooo exciting to be planning Christmas 2013!!! lol!!!

I also love the traffic lights Sugarspun has used. Would alter mine, but have you ever tried to edit a coloured post ? Complete nightmare. :eek:

ETA Done it. And it was a complete nightmare. In edit mode, it makes no sense at all.