Power of attorney - should we go for it?

Sarahsaver

I am aware of other threads on this topic, but none exactly matched our circumstances.
Would My sis and I be able to get power of attorney for my mum?
Mum is 65, owns her home and still works full time because she has got herself in a financial muddle. Basically sis and me don't believe that mum is capable of handling her finances, and has a loan secured on the house which we suspect shes not making the payments on, as there have been 'visitors' to the house, odd phone calls and letters. There was a summons to court 2 years ago, something about the house being reposessed, so we don't even know if she owns the house anymore, or if its gone to some loan sharks/refinancing company. She has a head-in-the sand attitude to a large number of things, and we are worried that she will lose her home. Mum will not talk about this issue and gets really angry when we try to mention it. I have thought of a variety of solutions to her problem. Where do we go next? Can mum give us power of attorney, or can we apply for it, either way we want to stop mum being destitute, but she will not help herself.
Any ideas?

trafalgar_2

My opinion is you talk to her and try to help but if she won't listen you have to leave her be,she's 65,works full-time ....................you don't say that she's (please don't take offence) lost any of her faculties,therefore you'll just have to let her do what she wants even if you think she's making lots of mistakes.

You can't protect her from her mistakes ,she is a grown woman and to be honest if I was your mother I wouldn't thank you for interfering ,unless of course I wasn't capable of making rational decisions.....................and that doesn't mean they have to be the right ones for others.

if she won't talk about the issue,she's not going to give power of attorney and I don't think you have reason to apply for it.

is there an aunt or uncle that can talk to your mum?

louise1234_2

I believe if she agrees, you and your sister can be power of attorney for her affairs - but if she doesn't agree, it would be very hard & you would need to prove she is mentally unable to managaing her affairs - which if she is 65 & works is not very likely.

Ted_Hutchinson

Enduring Power of Attorney booklet
Public Guardianship office

I agree with Traf that while she is sufficiently mentally aware to be living on her own, it's unlikely that you have grounds for saying is unable to take care of her own finances and if she won't agree to discuss it then your stuck. But clearly you have to do something to try to stop things getting worse.

NAR

Sounds to me like she's at that "stubborn, proud" stage of life and is too proud to admit she has made a mess of things. Think all you both can do is reassure her that you only want to help or advise and hopes she relents.

Sarahsaver

she may manage to work but she is a compulsive shopper, and has diabetes yet refuses to test her blood sugar, and actually my sis lives there and has a struggle to make sure mum eats properly and doesnt eat chocolate and drink sugary drinks! After posting this i had a look on the land registry website and found that some finance company has got a charge on her property:rolleyes: so I think she has already signed the house away.

Sarahsaver

is there any redress if a lender or a bank has been irresponsible in their giving of credit to an individual?

trafalgar_2

Sarahsaver wrote:

is there any redress if a lender or a bank has been irresponsible in their giving of credit to an individual?

complain to the company involved then the financial ombudsman,but practices have been tightened over the recent years and you'll need good reason to say they have been negligent ,not just that you think the individual made the wrong choice for them.

here

hope that helps

calleyw

Personally I don't think that there is much you can do about this.

She is an adult how she spends her money and looks after her health or not as the case maybe is up to her.

yes it is hard to watch someone like that and not try and help.

Yes, she is your mum, but no solictor on this planet would allow you to use a power of attorney over her even if you had one in place.

I would think the fact that she holds a job down proves that she is mentally capable.

I think this one where you are going to have to sit it out. Offer to help if she wants it and leave it at that.

Yours

Calley

Spendless

calleyw wrote:

Personally I don't think that there is much you can do about this.

She is an adult how she spends her money and looks after her health or not as the case maybe is up to her.

yes it is hard to watch someone like that and not try and help.

Yes, she is your mum, but no solictor on this planet would allow you to use a power of attorney over her even if you had one in place.

I would think the fact that she holds a job down proves that she is mentally capable.

I think this one where you are going to have to sit it out. Offer to help if she wants it and leave it at that.

Yours

Calley

I agree frustrating as that must be. You could start a conversation about it and what you've found out from the land registry but if mum gets angry and it causes a row what would it solve anyway- what's done is done.

Also if your sister lives there and mum gets cross and tells sis to pack her bags- what then?

The only thing sis can do is to start looking for a place of her own so come the day that the house is repossessed or mum dies at least she's still got a roof over her head.

Sorry its not much help Sarah : - (

katiepops_2

Can I just point out, as a diabetic myself, there is nothing more patronising, irritating and downright blood boiling than having someone 'make sure I'm eating properly' ... and I imagine your Mum feels the same.

Kate