Frugal Frump to Fab-u-lous Dharrrrrrrling Winter Solstice to Spring Equinox

SAVVYJADE

Morning!

WW- what a lovely little story!
Hewie - best wishes for today

Have had a bit of a rubbish year this year (family illnesses/break up/bk with parents etc) so next year I'm hoping will be my year!

I've got a fab holiday to Thailand booked for late April and also a few weddings to attend, so that's my incentive in regards to fabbing myself! Even though I've been AWOL from here for approx 6 months, I've stuck to the cleansing and toning and also keeping my nails painted.

Few things I'm aiming for next year are:

Loose weight (have just been diagnosed with hip dysplasia so exercise is difficult, have consultation soon do fingers crossed!)

Always look my best - never know who you might see

Actually use the great amount of beauty products I have!

I started making and selling jewellery before christmas and it took off so quickly and better than I could've dreamt of, so im looking to do more with this venture!

Hope everyone has a good day,

Jade x

lizzie157

I have been having a serious think about job issues and having got up with a bad back wonder if maybe decorating day in day out would be too much for me. I'm a couple of yrs short of 50 and as some may remember have shoulder problems too. Have decided to sit down over the weekend and note down all the things I'm good at, find some info on if I need any papers/qualifications and take it from there. I'm thinking along the lines of jobs based around the home, children, pets, perhaps offering decorating skills within it. I am also v. good at budgeting on a small income, though not sure if anyone would pay for what to me is common sense. When I've decided a way forward will place an ad locally and see how it goes before registering SE etc- I am worried about that side of it - it all seems very daunting tax returns etc. This has to be my no 1 aim for 2013. I know I've been pondering on it for a while but I really do need to get out there.

Some good ideas LL, I need to work out a way of incorporating me time too as I've noticed when I'm busy me goes out the window.

WW - That was really lovely of you. Another thing I could do with adopting, a selfless good deed a day. Just would have to try and ignore the voice in my head from H telling me no one gives a s**t about me and that people only do these things to nose into others business.

Fabbingwise managed a fast day yesterday - didn't eat at all until 6ish and am aiming for another today. Still feeling a bit fat but better than i did, the problem is the house is full of chocolate and once i start i can't stop. :eek:
I also ordered myself some new moisturiser and am going to have a couple of hours pampering later after i've finished my OU assignment which is due just after the new yr.
Hope the awful weather improves I've got a dog to walk.
Have a good day everyone

mineallmine

Oh yes Lizzie thanks for reminding me, that is a lovely story WW and LL. We can all do small things. I post my magazines through the door of a widow near where I live. And dropped off a bag of shopping to someone who's broken both their ankles. I guess we can all do something no matter how small

lessonlearned

lizzie157 wrote: »

Just would have to try and ignore the voice in my head from H telling me no one gives a s**t about me and that people only do these things to nose into others business.

I am sorry that I cannot do multiple quotes but I am going to highlight a few of these slipaway comments.

I thought about doing it the other day but I got sidetracked.

I'm going to do it not out of any kind of meanness or spite, but I think it might help you to see the insidious effect they are having on you. This is how it works. The steady drip drip drip eats away at your confidence and self esteem.

lessonlearned

lizzie157 wrote: »

whilst i 've been helping others decorating etc i've come home after walking the dog, 5/6 hrs decorating to find H has done nothing and his answer is i shouldn't be running round after every one else anyway.

If he is not working and he is not ill then he could do a little to help you.

lessonlearned

lizzie157 wrote: »

altercation between DD2 and H finished with DD2 saying 'that's why i don't have any1 round here!'
the only respite we get from his constant 'going on' is when he's out.
sorry for going on just need to vent.

Now that a bit of time has elapsed since the incident perhaps it would be a good time to have a quiet chat with your DD2. Quote back to her what she said and ask her to explain exactly what is troubling her.

I would also take up the suggestion that someone else made (sorry cannot remember who). Why not explain to your children how unhappy and left out of things you feel. Tell them it's time to meet their partners relatives - especially now that there is an engagement in the air. I agree it's a good idea to meet on neutral territory, without your OH if needs be.

Do have a good talk with your children and find out exactly where the problem lies. At the moment you are torturing yourself and thinking that because you have limited funds this makes you somehow inferior.

This is so not true. What does money have to do with a person's worth. It's "personal capital" that counts - not the size of your bank balance.

By "personal capital" what I mean is a person's character. If you are genuine, honest, kind, considerate, well mannered etc and just a generally nice person then that is far more important than money. If you can throw in a sense of humour and fun then you'll find people will like you and warm to you.

I can see plainly that your situation has destroyed your confidence and self respect. Please try and find the courage to find yourself again.

You deserve so much more than you have settled for.

Rummer

Today and tomorrow I am going to spend really thinking about the changes I want to make in all areas of my life. They need to be sensible so that I stick to them so I will post when I have thought them through properly.

I do though have a question for those that have successfully lost weight, what eating plan do you follow? Just wondering if you follow a specific diet approach or if you have simply been sensible yourselves?

Fitness wise I need to find something I enjoy that is afforadable. I used to go to dance classes but due to depleted finances this is no longer an option which is a shame as I loved them. Time is also limited so it needs to be effective and flexible.

No that I am asking for much :rotfl:

WelshWoofer

Lizzie - what about being a professional dog walker? You have one of your own, like animals and there are loads of people that work that would pay to have their dog walked by someone trustworthy and dependable. I know two that live within 5 mins walk of my house and they make fairly good money for a part time job. They also offer a cat feeding service for when people go on holiday and don't want their cats in a cattery, just popping in making a fuss of the cat for half an hour, changing the water and food etc. I've often thought that I'd like to do this when I retire as I'd be bored stiff with no "job" to speak of and I'm sure the money would come in handy.

Rummer - I lost almost 2 stone using the www.myfitnesspal.com website. I used to do Slimming World on and off but always ended up giving up due to the restrictions. MFP calculates the number of cals you need to eat to lose weight and has a massive database of supermarket food so you can put in how many cals you have. You can also"earn" extra food by doing exercise - anything from walking to cleaning to running a marathon!
On the exercise front, I started off just doing longer dog walks, then went back to swimming (£3.20 a go at my local pool) then started the Couch to 5K running plan (combines walking and jogging until you can run 5k without stopping over about 9 weeks - google it for the details). I also bought a couple of cheap exercise DVDs (30 Day Shred is good and works quickly)for the days when I couldn't get out and about due to the weather etc.
I've suprised myself by keeping it up and even when I've had bad food weeks the exercise has generally kept the lbs at bay.

Been swimming and managed a mile in 33 mins - not too bad. There were quite a few middle aged men with beer bellies splashing up and down, going nowhere fast - maybe a few new years resolutions starting early?:rotfl: Why do men think that they should be in the fast lane when they clearly shouldn't though? Arrogance, male pride or self delusion?:rotfl:

fedupandskint

I have just done L1 and L2 of Extreme Shed and Shred - L2 was very hard going! Anyway its done now and that's about it for today after taking the dog for a nice long walk this morning.

This afternoon will be catching up on some cleaning and washing the out for another long walk with the dog then flop down in a bath!

lizzie157

I haven't taken it as done in spite in any way LL. I am aware now of exactly how it's worked over the years, finding the bad in anyone I had as friends, unfortunately in many cases he was proved right, but he has even found fault with my oldest friend who yes is busy and i don't see often but i do know she cares. Unfortunately correcting the way i feel isn't easy. In the last few yrs i have attended adult ed classes and embarked on various OU courses and despite having good feedback from each one still doubt myself. I am naturally a quiet person but that doesn't mean i don't like a laugh or the company of others - i do, but i do admit i've felt left out a lot in my life. I like to think i'm kind, well mannered, caring etc but was described by DS as socially challenged because i have few friends and rarely go out anywhere. ( he was including H in this too)

DD in fact all the kids have suffered at his hands and i can't help but feel responsible for letting it happen. He nags constantly, DD says she can't have friends here because he moans if they are a bit load, giggle etc she says even her her friends dads who are strict have more patience than him.

H has mental health issues but IMO he uses it to is own advantage and is capable of more than he does again i've probably enabled it for a quiet life.

Regarding discussing feeling left out i'm not sure i can do that without being emotional and don't want to be seen as using this to make them feel guilty ( H's mum did this). It's no secret to any of the kids that i'm not happy with H but they i don't think they believe i will ever do anything about it and perhaps they're right.

ideally it would be nice to get away from it all on my own, or with the kids still at home and get my head straight - not sure thats a realistic option though.

Sorry wasn't intending to go on about this on here but there's so much in my head - it helps