Frugal Frump to Fab-u-lous Dharrrrrrrling Winter Solstice to Spring Equinox

WelshWoofer

Right, a quick run down on the "festive" season with the family...
I love them to bits and wouldn't be without them but 3 nights is enough;) I live on my own and find the constant noise, friendly bickering and telly blaring overwhelming sometimes (and I teach teenagers!). Its nice to be back in my little house - just me and the dog.:)
I did get quite a few nice unexpected pressies - some fabbing ones included a moisturising set with day and night cream, new nice knickers, PJs, smellies, perfume and the "big" pressie I knew I was having, a new Kindle.

I thoroughly indulged in the food and only had a drink on Xmas Day - although I must say that I have been a lot worse with the scoffing in the past. I'm giving myself today as a nice quiet day watching a movie and eating up a few treats and then its back on the straight and narrow tomorrow. I'll weigh in the morning to assess the damage - not looking forward to that!
Whatever is left over with regards to sweets, chocs etc will go in a carrier bag in the attic until I start school again and then I'll take some in for the kids to scoff. There is no way I should eat all of the naughties I have in!
I did go for a run on Xmas morning but the weather was so bad yesterday that I only ventured out with the dogs for two 20 min walks. I'll hopefully go for a swim tomorrow if the pool is open.

Hope everyone enjoys the lull between now and the New Year - a good chance to get some serious fabbing done:)

lizzie157

thanks for the replies.
LL i'm not sure if it's all to do with H the boys do socialize with him after football sometimes. I just don't know if i can cope with the extra pressure not least from dwp if i do leave. ( having said that DS2 mil said the decorating i did looked like it had been done professionally, so something to think about there - but enough to get out of dwp clutches i don't know?)
mealallmine- I don't put them on a pedestal i know having money doesn't make you a better person but it's a fact that g/friends have described their families as snobs.
bitsy- I have brought up the subject of my sis but am made to feel mean. she is still treated like the baby of the family and nothing is expected of her because she works, whereas i have all the time in the world cos i don't. i've no doubt that my sons are embarrassed by our situation -it's a standing joke that H is jim royle. they also think i should have got a job years ago - maybe i should have but H always discouraged that and i never liked leaving the younger kids with him as he just can't or won't cope. i'm not good at confrontation i do sometimes wish i was as people who speak their mind never seem to come off any worse than me but i just can't help thinking of others feelings.
ww - yes i've totally lost myself so much so that after all these years i'm not really sure who i am. i have no friends to speak of, am niggled at constantly and have little confidence. i do try to push myself but it's hard.
whilst i 've been helping others decorating etc i've come home after walking the dog, 5/6 hrs decorating to find H has done nothing and his answer is i shouldn't be running round after every one else anyway.
i'm going to get some advice and take it from there - i just feel like it might all be too late cos some of his ways have obviously rubbed off on the kids.

Savvy_sewing

Take Care Lizzie.
I didnt much like my christmas, although I had looked forward to being with my Kids, and grandchidren for the first time all together in around 8 years I think it was!.
But they !!!!!ed at each other, and bickered. DGD's Mum decided to go up to bed again in the morning, and only surfaced after several hours and the dinner was being served. (after 3pm).
Twin2, went for a bath, and fell asleep so was up there most of the morning too.
That left Biggest of Mooloo, and myself in the kitchen, and DS looking after the kids!.
I was in the kitchen for the best part of 4 hours, and so worn to a frazzle afterwards.
In the evenings they all were up very late, and I was too sleep on one of the sofa's so it was a very very late night for me, and I was exhausted when I came home yesterday. I so wanted to come home early on Christmas day after the meal. Wish I had, but that would have been wrong.
Today I have been pottering,and decided to have my shower, and dig out the smellies.
I defuzzed, washed my hair, moisturised my face, put on some eye cream too. Then I remembered to remove the nail polish off of my toes. (What was remaining of it- from so long ago I am ashamed to say!). Then I moisturised my feet, and my hands.
Feel rather tired even though I slept around 10 hhhours last night!.
My BF is coming over in a bit, with some gifts I think, and Molly's daughter is also coming over, so DGD is about to have some more Christmas cheer.
I better get off the computer and wash up the last of the lunch things.!
I hope to get my fabbing back on track, but do you know, reading Lizzies woes, and LL's response. I do wonder why I am still with my BF at times. Some similar traits mentioned there.

Carmen

Hello to anyone that remembers me, and to everyone I do not know.
I really need to get myself motivated again, and would like the support this group gave me in the past.
I have not posted regularly since April ish, have managed to put on seven kilo's and have generally neglected myself
I am a glass half full kinda gal, but 2012 has not been a good time for family and friends, soooo then I tend to put myself on the back burner and voila! One unhappy gal.
Today things change
Upward and onward.

Carmen xx

WelshWoofer

Welcome back Carmen! Jump back on the wagon with us and look forward to a brighter 2013.:beer:

lizzie157

altercation between DD2 and H finished with DD2 saying 'that's why i don't have any1 round here!'
the only respite we get from his constant 'going on' is when he's out.
sorry for going on just need to vent.

mooloo sorry your xmas wasn't great at least it's all over for another year

Hewie29

Hugs to Lizzie and Mooloo

Well Christmas was defintely different to the one we had planned. My brother and his tribe came for dinner, then we all went to see mum and dad. Mum got very emtional when we all got there, which set me off too, (its the first time we've all been together for a little while). She seemed to have a good afternoon, realistically this was probably the last xmas we will have with her. It really hit me yesterday and I kinda went to pieces, hubby as always has been my rock and was very understanding and just let me get it all out.

On a lighter note, mum is still nagging me about my weight in her own way, she looked at my belly today and said no and gave me that look that she wasn't happy. I promised her that I will do my best.

I will be back soon with my targets for the coming 3 months and year.

Have a good time xxx

lessonlearned

Carmen - just had to dive in and say hello and welcome back.:wave: Twinnie I've missed you.

Sorry to hear that 2012 was bad for you, don't worry too much - if the weight can go on it can come off again.

Best foot forward - to all of us - let's make 2013 a sizzler. :rotfl:

Lizzie - I do hope I didn't come over all "naggy" with you - it's just that I think you deserve better and Mooloo - sorry that your Christmas was such a disappointment but I do think that relationship issues often come to the fore at Christmas.

Throughout the year it's so easy to just potter on with our heads in the sand and ignore the blindingly obvious but come Christmas everything comes rushing out into the open and you find you just can't keep deluding yourself any more.

My marriage just ground to a halt on New Years Day - just 5 years after we were married. I just woke up and looked at him and thought - "Enough". We had been to a New Year's Eve party and he had sulked and scowled all night . I just decided that the thought of the next 50 years with such a miserable bad tempered bossy humourless stuffed shirt was more than I could bear, money or no money (and yes we were well off because he had raced up the career ladder - with my help of course).

I was sick of entertaining his work colleagues and bosses, of being the corporate wife, of pandering to his every whim, of cooking his favourite foods and never being able to eat what I liked, of ironing his shirts just so, of kow-towing to his family and friends when he held all my friends in contempt, of even watching the TV programmes that he chose, of having to play my music when he wasn't there because he didn't like it.

With hindsight I can see plainly that he was just a bully but I couldn't see it at the time. Whilst he never hit me or threatened me he controlled me through his sulks and coldness. I just never realised it at first, until that fateful New Years Day when the scales finally fell from my eyes.

Just one moment of blinding clarity and I was free. It took a few months to get myself organised and actually leave but from that moment he couldn't ever control me again, I had broken the spell.

I told my immediate boss what was happening because the Directors were rather religious and I didn't know how they would react. This was back in 1975 when divorce was still a bit frowned on.

They were wonderful, the next thing I knew I was offered a rent free flat for a while "till you get on your feet". All I had to do was pay the council tax (rates as they were called then) and my bills.

I was showered with kindness by all my bosses, work colleagues and neighbours. I guess they must have seen him more clearly than I had - they must have realised what he was before I had had my lightbulb moment.

It took me 9 long years to see what he was really like 5 years marriage and 4 "courting". What a silly little fool I was to be taken in and dazzled by him.

Lizzie, Mooloo[/[B

It's never too late to change your lives and follow your dreams. Do what you want, what is best for you what makes you happy.

You've been good dutiful wives and partners, you've given your lives to your families and raised your children. You've given of your best.

Now it's time for you to reap the rewards. If you partners won't support you and cherish you then maybe it's time to leave them to it.

Time to Let your hearts sing.

Hewie - I'm sorry to hear that your Christmas was tinged with sadness. Mine too was bittersweet - I looked at my husband's face wreathed in smiles because he was back at home and it really tugged my heart strings. I just wish I could do more for him.

This Christmas may well be his last too and it was very emotional for us all. We made him comfortable and fed him all his favourite foods and sat and watched TV with him. The boys were wonderful with him, it was very moving to see how gentle and tender they were with him.

Welcome to all the newbies - post up your goals ready for the big push.

Ladies - let's make 2013 fab-u-lous.

In the immortal words of Bitsy

Let's kick a**.

Phew - what a long post - time to get the dinner ready.

Bitsy_Beans

Lizzie get some advice and perhaps give yourself 6 months to see how a decorating venture works out. It's never too late to make the best choice for you. Eventually all your kids will leave home and it will be just you and your H. Ask yourself if you want to spend the rest of your life like this :eek:

Carmen welcome back

Hewie glad you had a good Christmas with your mum and it's good you have such a rock of a husband xx

Mooloo sorry your Christmas wasnt up to par xxx

Twinset and pearls and mannysmom welcome to the thread

WelshWoofer

Just a quickie for POD!!!

Just remembered to buy your book for the Kindle - all downloaded and ready to read - well done you!

Is that you on the cover??? Not a lot of fabbing needed there!