Should I ask my husband to pay money back?

stir_crazy

We also have separate bank accounts as OH had some debt from previous marriage, although we class his and my earnings together as "ours". I think the OP should let the £700 go, it must have been a serious relationship before s/he paid off the debt in the first place and by the time OH and I were in that serious a relationship, who paid what didn't matter to us.

duchy

Whoa the judgemental are out in force !

If he has always said he WANTS to pay it back (rather than you wanting him to pay it back ) which appears to be the case then why not set up a seperate savings pot for it -save the £700 and then spend it on something specific for you both but agree not to touch it until he's saved the £700 and then do the whatever you've preplanned to do with in ....or decide once it is saved.

Let him keep the commitment he has made to pay it back but then enjoy it together. That way you feel he's kept to his promise to pay it back but you both benefit so you won't feel guilty about it .

MrsDrink

I'm just wondering...

Being way overly simplistic - Suppose Partner A earns £10k a year (or... heaven forbid is a stay at home parent); and Partner B earns £100k a year. Does Partner B 'keep' £90k (or whatever the extra is depending on how the finances are split - whether it's 50-50; or proportionally)? Does B enjoy the high life without A? Go on holidays without A; go out for posh meals without A; have more 'stuff' than A? (Or even be MSE and save it all for a rainy day - but not allow A to use that if they have a period of difficulty).
Or does B see the money as shared marital assets and together they spend it accordingly?

duchy

I think when one partner is staying at home raising the kids then they are "working" too just their contribution to the family is not solely financial (although in some ways it could be argued it is.....more time to shop economically, no childcare costs etc etc) however that said I do know (working) couples where if one "can't afford" a holiday the other would go without them -to me it seems nuts but if it works for them -then why not -Every couple works out what is right for them ......and what anyone else thinks doesn't matter. One size doesn't fit all when it comes to almost any aspect of marriage.