Should I ask my husband to pay money back?

Heart_Shaped_Diamond

Has he never taken you out for a meal or taken you to the cinema in eight years?


I'm talking seperately and this is just my opinion but sometimes I think it's double standards. Man takes woman out for meal/cinema and it's okay for him to pay. He's the man, it's a treat etc.

Woman pays for meal/cinema when out with man. Man owes woman £10 for the imax ticket or £15 for the steak .

Mojisola

Molly41 wrote: »

Wonder what would happen if this couple had children?

Or one of them becomes long-term sick or unemployed?

There are always posts popping up on here when one of a couple needs to claim benefits and is unable to get them because their partner earns too much. Lots of horror expressed at the idea that a couple are expected to support each other financially!

salfordmate

Thanks for your thoughts everyone, food for thought!

We don't worry who pays for what day by day, I was wondering specifically about the chunk of money.

We don't see anything wrong in keeping some of our finances seperately, it is what we have discussed, agreed and are very honest with each other when discussing money, and it suits us!

Besides, I couldn't buy him Christmas presents secretly if we had the same account!

I suspect life may change if we decide to have kids and I'm sure we'll rethink our situation then!

Thanks

fluffnutter

salfordmate wrote: »

When we first started going out over 8 years ago for various reasons my boyfriend (now husband) ended up owing me some money. Over the years this amount has gone up and down as we have each paid for different things and the figure now stands at about £700.

We were quite specific that the money would always be paid back and my Husband is fully expecting to pay it back when he has the money and has paid off a couple of credit cards.

The only thing I wonder now is am I being mean asking for it back? There is no misunderstanding, we always agreed he would pay it back and he is happy to and I think about what I could treat myself/us to if I had it but now we're married does it matter?

I'm just wondering what others think, would you ask for it back or leave it?

Thanks!

You are joking aren't you?

Jox

I would leave it.

I'm surprised though he hasn't mentioned it or paid it back sooner.

If me and hubby lend each other money then it plays on our minds until the debt is cleared (eg, I paid for his car insurance as it was cheaper to pay in one go than installments, he paid me back monthly).

Mrs_Imp

I had debts when Mr Imp and I married, although I was also a property owner with a small amount of equity. He never once asked me to pay my debts off and I never asked for the equity to be paid solely to me. When we married, our income and debts were merged.

This has worked for us, although I know there may be cases where it wouldn't work.

IMHO tell your DH that the debt is paid, but that you expect a nice meal out/nice day out/whatever floats your boat, in return.

Brighton_belle

salfordmate wrote: »

The money was lent specifically for a holiday but he hasn't been able to pay it back yet due to previous debts. It has gone up and down a bit with subsequent holidays but it's not like it goes up and down every week with the weekly shop.

What I don't quite get OP is that if this was for a holiday 7 yrs ago, why has he taken and paid for subsequent holidays while still not having paid off this one?
Has he now addressed the 'living beyond his means 'issue'. A holiday is an absolute luxury, not a necesssity.

mucklebones

I would of let it go along time ago.

Gloomendoom

This has got to be a wind up.

JanCee

salfordmate wrote: »

Thanks for your thoughts everyone, food for thought!

We don't worry who pays for what day by day, I was wondering specifically about the chunk of money.

We don't see anything wrong in keeping some of our finances seperately, it is what we have discussed, agreed and are very honest with each other when discussing money, and it suits us!

Besides, I couldn't buy him Christmas presents secretly if we had the same account!

I suspect life may change if we decide to have kids and I'm sure we'll rethink our situation then!


Thanks

Just forget it OP, it is a long time to pursue a debt especially when it is from your own husband. Sometimes you have to look at the bigger picture.