Should I ask my husband to pay money back?

salfordmate

When we first started going out over 8 years ago for various reasons my boyfriend (now husband) ended up owing me some money. Over the years this amount has gone up and down as we have each paid for different things and the figure now stands at about £700.

We were quite specific that the money would always be paid back and my Husband is fully expecting to pay it back when he has the money and has paid off a couple of credit cards.

The only thing I wonder now is am I being mean asking for it back? There is no misunderstanding, we always agreed he would pay it back and he is happy to and I think about what I could treat myself/us to if I had it but now we're married does it matter?

I'm just wondering what others think, would you ask for it back or leave it?

Thanks!

robpw2

did you not make marriage vows .. whats yours is mine ... whats mine is my own ... or something similar...?
i am sure he has paid this money back 100 times over in 8 years

WestonDave

Depends how you run your finances - in our house it would be irrelevant as everything is pooled. I guess if you operate on his and hers money then it may be relevant as then you will have the £700 to do something with.

Del_Astra

OP - Not sure I follow your way of thinking, did you lend 700 for something specific? You say the money has gone up and down, say you have a night out and he pays do you take £50 off or say he gets this months shopping in does it come down by £100? i Assume you both have seperate bank accounts?

You say he always knew he would pay it back, but if my wife asked me to pay back for something before we were married 8 years ago, I'd be pretty shocked and taken aback tbh. I take it you run finance seperately? Do you split all bills down the middle?

mountainofdebt

tbh I find this bit about wives and husbands owing each other money odd....and that's partly why me and the OH don't splash out on christmas presents as the money to buy the christmas present comes from the same pool of money iyswim.

salfordmate

The money was lent specifically for a holiday but he hasn't been able to pay it back yet due to previous debts. It has gone up and down a bit with subsequent holidays but it's not like it goes up and down every week with the weekly shop.

We run seperate finances and split all household bills down the middle. We do this as my Husband had a bit of debt and although I'm happy to help with running our house I'm not happy paying off his past self accumulated debt.

Person_one

You're married, what's the point?

Do you keep a running total of what you each spend for the household and on each other?

Just read your newest post, maybe you should have held off on getting married until he was debt free, marriage does mean 'what's mine is yours', ask any divorcee!

motherofstudents

I know people do things differently but when we got married we opened a joint account and everything went in and out of that. We do have separate ISA's etc but I think when you are married everything is jointly owned. If you divorced it would be split down the middle. No, I wouldn't ask for it back, not now that you are married.

Del_Astra

OP - Ah right I see, makes more sense, when it was for a holiday. I would still be shocked however shocked it had taken my wife so long to ask for that money back.

So by all means ask for the money to be paid back, however if in debt I suspect he might not be in the position to repay you, perhaps you could do him favourable terms? say £50 a month until it is paid off?

Mojisola

salfordmate wrote: »

The money was lent specifically for a holiday but he hasn't been able to pay it back yet due to previous debts. It has gone up and down a bit with subsequent holidays but it's not like it goes up and down every week with the weekly shop.

We run seperate finances and split all household bills down the middle. We do this as my Husband had a bit of debt and although I'm happy to help with running our house I'm not happy paying off his past self accumulated debt.

I know a couple who lived like this. It's very difficult if one of you earns less than the other. For a few years she lent him money so they could go on holiday then came the year when his hours had been cut and he knew he couldn't afford to pay her back so she went on holiday without him! They're divorced now.

Molly41

Wonder what would happen if this couple had children?

Would your husband support you through maternity leave or would he expect that it was paid off his debt to you?

I honestly find it really hard to understand how you can run your marriage along these lines from a financial point but hey each to your own.