Should I ask my husband to pay money back?

madison-nyc

what a strange way to conduct a marriage?! i'm really quite shocked! lol

FBaby

I can totally understand the concept of separate finances when not married, even when in a committed relationship, but surely marriage means that this becomes redundant? It might be pratictal to continue with different account and own budget, but considering the fact that if you were to divorce, everything would be split 50/50, does it matter who owes what to whom?

If it matters that he 'pays you back', why not agree that he finances the most of your next holiday? sounds a bit more married-like.

sweetilemon

I think in a marriage neither person should struggle while the other lives a great life. If he's in debt, he can't afford to pay you back. I wouldn't ask for the money back but when his debts are paid I would expect him to give me money if I needed it. Can you maybe save for a joint holiday for future?

CH27

salfordmate wrote: »

The money was lent specifically for a holiday but he hasn't been able to pay it back yet due to previous debts. It has gone up and down a bit with subsequent holidays but it's not like it goes up and down every week with the weekly shop.

We run seperate finances and split all household bills down the middle. We do this as my Husband had a bit of debt and although I'm happy to help with running our house I'm not happy paying off his past self accumulated debt.

What an odd thing to say.

princessdon

Hey honey soul mate fancy an early night as I love you and trust you enough to be my life partner for richer or poorer. Wait you haven't paid money from 8 yrs ago! Can you see how ridiculous this sounds? Tell hi you want a romantic weekend on him and clear all debts with fun and lots of loving. That's my advice anyway

Felicity

I too find this really odd.

When I met my hubby I had a house with a lot of equity, he was renting so brought little to the party.

I earned 3 times his salary.

Now, he has had substantial pay increases and I don't work as I look after our little boy.

At no point has it crossed our minds that we should have separate finances, we share everything. In fact I am more in control of the money side of things as he just earns it and doesn't really care!

When we married, in fact a couple of years before we married I transferred the house / mortgage into joint names. The solicitor (rightly) warned against it but I knew I loved him and fortunately he's a keeper!

pink_princess

Did you get a ccj against him?

If not then it is statute barred

lilymay1

A lot of critism aimed at the OP here. Just because a lot of people decide to pool everything doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. Some (me) might even call it foolish.

There is nothing wrong with having separate finances as a married couple. My husband and I each have our own bank account as well as a joint one. I paid for his car insurance back in September and there was never any question that he would pay me back.

We both pay into our joint account and that pays for everything 'family' related. I personally hate the idea of being a 'kept' woman. He earns his money and I earn mine; that way if he wants to spend £500 on a set of new alloys for his car, or go and waste money playing golf I can't complain. Similarly, he keeps shut when I spend money on the things I like.

Variety is the spice of life remember!

princessdon

lilymay1 wrote: »

A lot of critism aimed at the OP here. Just because a lot of people decide to pool everything doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. Some (me) might even call it foolish.

There is nothing wrong with having separate finances as a married couple. My husband and I each have our own bank account as well as a joint one. I paid for his car insurance back in September and there was never any question that he would pay me back.

We both pay into our joint account and that pays for everything 'family' related. I personally hate the idea of being a 'kept' woman. He earns his money and I earn mine; that way if he wants to spend £500 on a set of new alloys for his car, or go and waste money playing golf I can't complain. Similarly, he keeps shut when I spend money on the things I like.

Variety is the spice of life remember!

But do you keep score on an 8 yr old pre marriage debt? I am financially independent but as said its statute barred after so long

Any

princessdon wrote: »

But do you keep score on an 8 yr old pre marriage debt? I am financially independent but as said its statute barred after so long

Well the way I read OP's post I got the impression that the OP doesn't exactly want or need the money back and is actually thinking of scrapping it and forgetting anout it for good, and that is why she posted.

Everyone here is giving OP hard time and I really don't see why. Just because they have separate finances when times are good and simple it doesn't mean they won't support each other when times are bad, redundancies made or babies to be born.
If ghe OP came here and said 'I paid off my OH's debt but he tun up a new one' everyone would be saying 'well why did you do that? People need to learn their lessons'. Borrowing money is not that far off the same principle. And given that they are together for some time OP wants to onow opinions on scrapping or paying old debt and everyone is questioning her commitment to marriage.