difficult situation ds pregnant g/f

red_devil

it was better in the days when people made a commitment, maybe bought a house and planned a family.

Messes like this were less likely to occur.

shiny76

cobbingstones wrote: »

Originally Posted by j.e.j.
What does 'katie' have to say about all this..? Is she willing to have the paternity test done

She doesn't want to do one.

There could be many reasons for this. However the obvious one leaps out.

I've been in a similar situation to your son. She didn't want a paternity test, but I insisted it was only right for me, her and most importantly the child.

For the time being, at least, I'd try to build some sort of relationship with Katie, even if it is at arms length.

shiny76

red_devil wrote: »

it was better in the days when people made a commitment, maybe bought a house and planned a family.

Messes like this were less likely to occur.

When were these days?
It may be more common these days but it certainly happened 60+ years ago

NAR

shiny76 wrote: »

When were these days?
It may be more common these days but it certainly happened 60+ years ago

But nowhere near as often.

red_devil

shiny76 wrote: »

When were these days?
It may be more common these days but it certainly happened 60+ years ago

its happening all the time. Shag now think later.

j.e.j.

NAR wrote: »

But nowhere near as often.

I agree. Certainly these things have always happened since time immemorial, but nowhere near as often, and there would have been an element of shame or embarrassment involved in not knowing or caring who the father of your baby is. It wouldn't have been something people would be so blatant about.

Person_one

NAR wrote: »

But nowhere near as often.

Oh come on!

Take a survey of women 60+ and I bet you'll find a good number of them were pregnant when they got married, or lucky not to be.

j.e.j.

I was doing a bit of genealogy, looking at my family history, and yep, great gran got married 6 months before her first child was born. Babies conceived out of wedlock were nothing unusual.

What she wouldn't have done was shag two blokes, finish with one, tell the other she wasn't sure who the father is, not bother making any commitment re getting a home or making a stable relationship with the 'father', alienate people around her and generally act like an irresponsible biatch. In those days if you got pregnant you got married. Or faced being locked up somewhere.. We don't want to go back to those times, but looking around, I do think the pendulum might have swung a bit too far in the other direction.

thegirlintheattic

Tell your son not to put his name on the birth certificate without the test.

shiny76

thegirlintheattic wrote: »

Tell your son not to put his name on the birth certificate without the test.

Whilst this would be ideal, it is fairly simple to get the birth certificate corrected if the baby proves not to be his.