difficult situation ds pregnant g/f

cobbingstones

j.e.j. wrote: »

What does 'katie' have to say about all this..? Is she willing to have the paternity test done?

She doesn't want to do one.

cobbingstones

Stephb1986 wrote: »

What a sad situation you are in cobbingstones.

My brother got his gf pregnant a few years ago they had a little girl that I love to bits I would do anything for. Sad thing is she is coming up to 8 in a few weeks time we've (as in my parents and I) have only seen her a handful of times.

My brother is no longer with the girl, he got regular access and sometimes he would bring her and other times he wouldn't we wouldn't see her from one year to the next or when it comes up to her birthday and christmas. She loves my dad to bits but when it's time to say bye to my mum and me she won't give us cuddles because she doesn't know us that well it breaks my heart every time.

It's confusing for her and for us. We probably won't get to see her this christmas another year gone by when we've not seen her. It really does hurt.

If this baby turns out to be your sons please be good friends with "katie" because if your not I feel that you will end up in the same situation we're in.

Steph xx

This is what I am so afraid of. You have summed it up so well.

cobbingstones

skintchick wrote: »

I don't think you should tell your daughters. That is up to your son and Katie if they wish to tell.

To be perfectly honest, i'm concerned by your use of the phrase 'yet another row'. Do you mean that you and Katie have been arguing? Or you and your son? Or both? Because that is how it reads and if that is the case I think you should do absolutely nothing as none of it is your concern, really, in the sense that it is your son's life and Katie's life, but not yours.

I get the sense you are not telling us the full story about you and Katie and your relationship with her.

My daughters are very young and would not understand.

My son and Katie argue most weeks.

Yes, this is the full story. But not told very well due to tiredness.

Person_one

cobbingstones wrote: »

She doesn't want to do one.

Even without the rest of it, the baby has a right to know who their parents are, and to know their family medical history.

j.e.j.

I would be very dubious. I'm not getting a good impression of this girl. It might be your son's, it might not. And if they are arguing all the time it doesn't sound promising.. sorry!

skintchick

cobbingstones wrote: »

My daughters are very young and would not understand.

My son and Katie argue most weeks.

Yes, this is the full story. But not told very well due to tiredness.

Then I apologise.

This sounds a very difficult situation, I'd imagine that whoever is the father of the baby your son and Katie are going to split up - their relationship doesn't sound healthy or happy.

THe best you can do is be fairly neutral and maintain relations in case this baby truly is your son's.

NAR

Sounds like slapper Katie has found a right mug in your son and wants him (now) to have the child with.
OP please advise your son that he insists on the paternity test; why should he raise another man's son, unless he chooses to? I also doubt he and Katie will last very long together, so the sooner he has the evidence to get out of the "relationship" the better IMHO.
If it turns out he is the father then you all can put heart and soul into trying to make the relationships work and you can be the granny you obviously want to be.

Mojisola

cobbingstones wrote: »

She doesn't want to do one.

She might change her mind when she realises that she won't be able to claim any child maintenance off your son if he challenges the paternity and she refuses the test.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Of course, it is equally possible that there is absolutely no chance whatsoever that the baby is somebody else's, as she did no such thing - and this is just someone laying the ground for dumping her without any guilt or disapproval.



One of my friends was dumped by her fiance when she became pregnant for the second time (which was their decision - they had been trying for months), and he insisted that he was leaving her because she'd been sleeping around and the baby wasn't his. So his mother cut her off, his sister cut her off, his friends cut her off.

The baby was his - it was all a load of lies to make him not look like the irresponsible scumbag changing his mind about being a thirty two year old grown man with responsibilities and leaving her for a sixteen year old.


The CSA caught up with him in the end (which cost him quite a lot) - not before a real man had met his ex when she was 8 months gone, though - and stood by her throughout the remainder of her pregnancy, the birth and onwards; they are still happily married now.

But not without the children's father demanding his name be removed from the eldest's birth certificate on the grounds she had to have been sleeping with the man she did not meet for another five years.



The girl in the OP may not have the slightest idea her partner is spreading the rumour that she's been sleeping around. Or she might be under a huge amount of stress because he keeps on saying 'it's not mine' or 'you slept around' when she never did anything of the sort.

I_Love_Shoes

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