Would love to be debt free but budget is a nightmare

RAS

Please contact the Cinnamon Trust; they foster animals particulalrly when there is a risk of violence towards them due to relationship breakdown. At least make contact.

And please understand something pretty basic: "we" do not have a successful business.

Your OH has a business which may or may not be successful, in part depending on whether the bank withdraws the overdraft. You have no legal stake in that whether it makes a profit or goes belly up. As a sole trader, he is responsible for all the debt personally, not you.

Your breeding business does not seem to be doing as well, so you might well be better off closing that down and considering whether you could apply for any benefits because of your health.

rising_from_the_ashes

worried48 wrote: »

I cannot simply ride roughshod over his wishes, however unreasonable they might be.

Sorry ..... but is he not doing exactly this?

worried48

exarmydreamer wrote: »

You can not and should not submit any fictitious paperwork to a bank, it is called fraud. Look you sound depressed, go and speak to your GP and find support out side of the home.

No, it will be the best I can do, it's just that it isn't very easy to work it out.
Not depressed at all, honestly. I just don't suffer from that. I get tense sometimes when we are broke or when there is a lot of cat work to do or when husband is being awkward, but that's all.

worried48

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Leave him. Please. Temporarily rehome the cats - have you some breeding-related friends that could take them till you're safe?

I hate to say it, but next time it could be you that gets hurt or threatened. Contact Women's Aid, build a support network, get a solicitor, and fight for what's yours. He can look after his debts. Currently he's the net tying you down...he certainly doesn't seem to make you feel loved.

Massive amounts of love.

HBS x

No it's really not like that. He is stressed because of the number of cats I have, I sort of understand that. He doesn't help himself and he makes everything worse for himself than it needs to be, but I don't personally feel under any sort of threat, sorry if I gave that impression but it simply isn't the case.

worried48

RAS wrote: »

Please contact the Cinnamon Trust; they foster animals particulalrly when there is a risk of violence towards them due to relationship breakdown. At least make contact.

Don't forget, it's my father's house. If anyone moves out it will be my husband not me. But that isn't on my mind at all.

And please understand something pretty basic: "we" do not have a successful business.

Your OH has a business which may or may not be successful, in part depending on whether the bank withdraws the overdraft. You have no legal stake in that whether it makes a profit or goes belly up. As a sole trader, he is responsible for all the debt personally, not you.

Yes that is true. However it is in my best interest to make it work!

Your breeding business does not seem to be doing as well, so you might well be better off closing that down and considering whether you could apply for any benefits because of your health.

Breeding is a hobby not a business - breeders can and generally do pretty much break even over the long term but the idea of making enough to live on or even supplement an income is totally unrealistic for most of us (a small number of highly popular breeds may give some income). It is very very different from dog breeding. I do get DLA.

worried48

rising_from_the_ashes wrote: »

Sorry ..... but is he not doing exactly this?

Well yes he is.

RAS

worried48 wrote: »

Don't forget, it's my father's house. If anyone moves out it will be my husband not me. But that isn't on my mind at all.

Yes but it may be to your advantage to be animal free for a short time if you decide that he has to leave.

And by the way, he would have left by now if this was me. I really cannot see what possible advantage you gain staying in this relationship.

heartbreak_star

You said you were scared of him...

HBS x

worried48

RAS wrote: »

And by the way, he would have left by now if this was me. I really cannot see what possible advantage you gain staying in this relationship.

Well, I don't believe in divorce, I suppose that's the bottom line.

worried48

heartbreak_star wrote: »

You said you were scared of him...

Yes but not physically.