Would love to be debt free but budget is a nightmare

heartbreak_star

Part of me wishes it was.

Worried, you're going to continue to be worried until your dying day. You've had so much good advice, and given every excuse in the book about why none of it applies.

Good luck, and I hope that we don't get future threads about such things as bankruptcy, injured animals and domestic violence. It's already domestic abuse.

HBS x

lovethymini

Hi Worried,

I read this thread from the beginning last night, and I just wanted to make a suggestion;-

You mentioned that your husband decided to stop taking his medication years ago. You didn't go into detail what they were for, but if you think that he would be better off taking the medication, perhaps this should be the first goal. If he is reluctant, then it may be up to you to physically hand him the tablet and a glass of water, until it gets through to him that it's what he needs to do. NB this may involve a fresh prescription though and taking all the old ones back to the chemist!

As one poster said, baby steps.


Best wishes, LTM

fallen121

worried48 wrote: »

We didn't marry in the CofE but we did promise to take on the role of husband and wife according to scripture.

Can I ask what Church you belong to? Latter Day Saints?

I am becoming concerned at the direction this "hello I am here" thread (as you term it) is taking. You say you don't want help, but looking back at your first posting you are in fact asking for help. At the beginning you talked of your husband, your business and your cats. Suddenly the talk is all of religious doctrine. As previous poster stated, you have offended and alienated almost everyone who has bothered to post on here.

As I myself predicted, you inability to DO anything other than moan, protest, excuse, misinform and generally offend everyone is causing everyone (including me) to think seriously about whether they even want to continue reading, let alone posting on this thread.

What single thing have you achieved since you began this thread? What single action have you taken to mitigate the financial, emotional and marital mess you have gotten yourself into? If the answer is "nothing", then watch as everyone scrambles for the unsubscribe button.

We would all love to be debt free, but there is no magic way to achieve this and believe me, just sitting moaning about it and finding reasons why you can't do this or that is not getting you anywhere.

As my sat nav is sometimes apt to say - you are on the correct route, but travelling in the wrong direction.

worried48

fallen121 wrote: »

Can I ask what Church you belong to? Latter Day Saints?

NO! Just an ordinary conservative Evangelical one.

I am becoming concerned at the direction this "hello I am here" thread (as you term it) is taking. You say you don't want help, but looking back at your first posting you are in fact asking for help. At the beginning you talked of your husband, your business and your cats. Suddenly the talk is all of religious doctrine. As previous poster stated, you have offended and alienated almost everyone who has bothered to post on here.

That is what often happens whenever anyone gives a religious reason why s/he is unable to do something everyone else takes for granted. I am used to it. It's not a problem to me. I am not here to discuss that, people keep asking me.

What the thread title says is the issue. I am self employed, as is my husband, therefore we don't know from one week's end (even one DAY'S end) to the next what is coming in. No-one has yet made any suggestions of any way I might work out any sort of budget given that difficulty. It may be that there is no answer, in which case, fair enough.

As I myself predicted, you inability to DO anything other than moan, protest, excuse, misinform and generally offend everyone is causing everyone (including me) to think seriously about whether they even want to continue reading, let alone posting on this thread.

Don't feel under any obligation. I am well aware that most people in this country at the moment seem to think that Christianity is the most offensive religion there is and that the very mention of it is enough to have people running for the hills. Had I said I was a satanist, many people would be saying that was fascinating. I have found this elsewhere (cat forums).

What single thing have you achieved since you began this thread? What single action have you taken to mitigate the financial, emotional and marital mess you have gotten yourself into?

Paid an extra £80 off one card, an extra £200 off another and an extra £290 off a third, if I recall correctly. Managed to get some of the stock properly labelled and get husband to put it on a spreadsheet so at least we know how much of that item we have. Paid the electricity bill which husband has been flatly refusing to pay for months even though the money was there, just because he doesn't believe in paying until he has to. Paid all the business debts up to date. But then this is a good time of the year for us. Also rehomed two cats (though another has come back so the net result is only one cat). IF the weather stays fine (that is rather a big IF) I may be able to get some photos of cats for rehoming and therefore get advertisements up online by tomorrow. OK?

fallen121

worried48 wrote: »

Paid an extra £80 off one card, an extra £200 off another and an extra £290 off a third, if I recall correctly. Managed to get some of the stock properly labelled and get husband to put it on a spreadsheet so at least we know how much of that item we have. Paid the electricity bill which husband has been flatly refusing to pay for months even though the money was there, just because he doesn't believe in paying until he has to. Paid all the business debts up to date. But then this is a good time of the year for us. Also rehomed two cats (though another has come back so the net result is only one cat). IF the weather stays fine (that is rather a big IF) I may be able to get some photos of cats for rehoming and therefore get advertisements up online by tomorrow.

That is a great start, although I think you would probably find it helpful if you summarised the main debts you are targeting in your tagline and then reduced the balances as you pay them off. Then it's not such a stretch to remember what you've done, you don't have to keep answering questions about it, people coming on here can see you're making the effort and it's a boost for you on days when things aren't going so well.

I admire your ability to remain focussed and objective. Even in the face of extreme provocation you don't get angry or upset. I think you could use this to your advantage to help you overcome some of the obstacles you are facing, for example negotiating better interest rates on some of your credit cards, selling some of your cats.

One thing I had wondered about was your storage unit. You have an upstairs unit, but know the person who has the unit underneath you. Are the units the same size? I wondered if there was any mileage in considering the possibility of a swap as your present unit is too big and up stairs which makes it difficult for you, whereas your downstairs neighbour might have a smaller unit which would suit you better whilst giving you space options for future stock. You wouldn't have the problem of the stairs, the rental might not be as much allowing you to reduce costs and the physical act of relocation would allow you to reorganise and declutter. Your neightbour might even have friends or family who could help with the move, or maybe someone from your Church could help?

worried48

fallen121 wrote: »

That is a great start, although I think you would probably find it helpful if you summarised the main debts you are targeting in your tagline and then reduced the balances as you pay them off. Then it's not such a stretch to remember what you've done, you don't have to keep answering questions about it, people coming on here can see you're making the effort and it's a boost for you on days when things aren't going so well.

I might have a go at that. Just a bit wary because there is alreayd more than enough info in my posts for me to be identified by anyone who actually knows me in real life. Also there are my husband's debts, one of which I don't know the amount of (not for certain)

I admire your ability to remain focussed and objective. Even in the face of extreme provocation you don't get angry or upset.

Necessary these days, if you mention Christianity in an online discussion and happen to be a Christian. One board (in the "off topic" section) went over 100 pages with me versus all comers once, that was most enjoyable (I wasn't shirking work, honest, I do have to man the phone here!)

One thing I had wondered about was your storage unit. You have an upstairs unit, but know the person who has the unit underneath you. Are the units the same size? I wondered if there was any mileage in considering the possibility of a swap as your present unit is too big and up stairs which makes it difficult for you, whereas your downstairs neighbour might have a smaller unit which would suit you better whilst giving you space options for future stock.

Ah no, unfortunately she vacated the unit we are now in, in order to move downstairs. She deals in books and they are heavy! We used to have a smaller unit upstairs. Husband says the storage company are looking for a smaller downstairs unit for us.

Mara69

I think it is very interesting that you believe that the reactions you're getting on here are solely due to you being a Christian. It really isn't, I can see that, shame you can't.

exarmydreamer

Worried48 has another thread on here, started on the 16 Dec.

I have two girls supposed to be coming in from the US in Jan or Feb and I will need to pay for them somehow

Extract copied from: A cat breeders diary DFW

I have no idea what she is doing but it appears she is getting more cats to breed in Jan/Feb.

worried48

Yes that is perfectly true, I am already committed to that. Should the breeder pull out I won't be looking for any others. They are the popular breed and I do need the outcross blood but of course they do have to be paid for. Originally they were supposed to be coming in December but I ran out of money so the breeder agreed to postpone but I can't do that again.

worried48

Mara69 wrote: »

I think it is very interesting that you believe that the reactions you're getting on here are solely due to you being a Christian. It really isn't, I can see that, shame you can't.

it seems to be largely due to me saying I will not boss my husband about. That is a direct result of my being a Christian. Anyway, that's the way it is.