Would love to be debt free but budget is a nightmare

worried48

We only found out about the parcels issue when we were chatting to a wholesaler on Thursday - no idea how my husband missed it, except that he has very poor sight so doesn't always notice things. It must have been announced somewhere in the Post Office but I hardly ever go in there now due to the difficulty in walking. We are working out what to do.

May?? I wonder if it might prove economically sensible for me to just get the pens heated, though by the time I've actually got someone arranged to come round and do the job I guess there will only be a couple of weeks of cold left. The other difficulty is that my cleaner is ill more often than not and consequently is completely unreliable and I would need the kitchen area to be cleaned immediately before anyone came to do the electrics, can't expect them to work in the conditions often found in my kitchen. Before you all say "replace the cleaner", the difficulty is that she lives next door and she does want to keep doing the job, and I am heavily dependent on the neighbours for all sorts of things (including looking after the cats outside during the recent snow when I simply could not access the garden safely). It really does seem as if everythign is conspiring against me sometimes!

Started mentioning money to my husband this morning, just to tell him how much we have been paying in interest, he just snapped that he didn't want to hear about money all the time. I got upset and told him that he had no interests in common with me at all any more, that all he seems to be interested in is watching the television, and then I suppose he felt guilty and wanted me to tell him what I had been going to say, but then when I did tell him, he just didn't want to know.

fallen121

If you are at home all day I would use Hermes instead. In fact I would use them even if you aren't at home as they will collect from bins or outbuildings or anywhere you specify so you don't have to wait in. Their prices are a fraction of Royal Mail and you get tracking thrown in. Signature on delivery and Saturday pickup/delivery are extra, but just a pound or so. Depends what you need.

Prices here:

www.myhermes.co.uk

worried48

Thank you, they seem to be a lot cheaper, will look into it.

Shelley71

Have you considered getting a full time job? If the business is in your husband's name let him run it. He seems very happy for you to do the hard work while he sits back and does nothing.

Maybe you would have more to talk about if you didn't spend most of every day together? Plus you would have your income to fall back on if things were slow with your husband's business. It would give him some self esteem back (which must have taken a beating if he was unemployed for such a long time before you met him) and he would feel like he was achieving something if he was left to run the business himself. He might actually step up to the mark and show you he can do it.

I am also a Christian. My husband used to treat me appallingly and I left him for 6 months. He realised he had to change and he did. We are very happy now and its an equal partnership. There is nowhere in the Bible that says you have to put up with this sort of behaviour. Yes you can't remarry but surely being on your own would be preferable to being in an abusive relationship? At least thats how I saw it.

I wish you well. I hope you can make positive changes that will create a happier environment for both of you

worried48

Not sure what I could do, Shelley. I was a teacher (shortage subjects too) but 1. I haven't been in a classroom for 14 years so would have to do the retraining thing and 2. more's to the point, I can hardly walk. Besides which, everyone who calls (which is how we get almost 100% of our sales) wants to speak to me, and even if they don't specifically want to speak to me, my husband chickens out of dealing with any queries more difficult than "I've spoken to your wife and this item is in stock so I just need to give you my card number"

Shelley71

So I wonder if its time for you to get your name on the business then? It seems to me that you are doing all of the work for a business that you don't technically own?

worried48

Possibly. I am not sure what the implications might be as far as tax and so on are concerned. Would need to look into it.

worried48

If anyone's still interested, there is an update. My husband has now gone down with dementia. Details on the small business board.

As it happens, his annual Barclaycard statement arrived this morning. Sod's law - he spends hours every day in bed, but now I want him to push off to bed so that I can look for the statement before it gets buried beneath the tons of paper on his desk, he's just sitting here bored and won't move!

worried48

Husband is about to retire. Once he does (it is imminent) the situation will look something like this. "Staff" refers to home help and help with cats.

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 0
Number of cars owned.................... 1

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 2750
Partners monthly income after tax....... 680
Benefits................................ 240
Other income............................ 50
Total monthly income.................... 3720

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 0
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 110
Electricity............................. 212
Gas..................................... 0
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 30
Telephone (land line)................... 0
Mobile phone............................ 0
TV Licence.............................. 15
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
Internet Services....................... 60
Groceries etc. ......................... 200
Clothing................................ 0
Petrol/diesel........................... 150
Road tax................................ 0
Car Insurance........................... 72
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 30
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 10
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 200
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
Haircuts................................ 0
Entertainment........................... 0
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
wine.................................... 20
crap.................................... 10
other charities......................... 10
church.................................. 152
staff................................... 300
cats.................................... 740
Total monthly expenses.................. 2321


Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 0
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 500
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 500

No Secured nor Hire Purchase Debts

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
His barclaycard................10000.....200.......17
Loan...........................9000......365.......11
overdraft......................1600......25........0
Marisota.......................80........5.........59
Luma...........................200.......15........39
Oxendales......................900.......50........59
Barclaycard....................1600......30........29
Aqua...........................1550......55........39
Capital One....................1000......35........39
Vanquis........................3000......140.......49
Total unsecured debts..........28930.....920.......-


Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 3,720
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 2,321
Available for debt repayments........... 1,399
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 920
Amount left after debt repayments....... 479

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 500
Total HP & Secured debt................. -0
Total Unsecured debt.................... -28,930
Net Assets.............................. -28,430

Created using the SOA calculator at https://www.stoozing.com.
Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using Firefox browser.

AlexLK

How come you have no mortgage / rent and yet not a house as an asset either?