The Realtives are Coming / Oh no I have to visit the Relatives - Xmas Vent Thread

thegirlintheattic

I can sympathize with the OP. Sometimes it is not as simple as saying no. Unfortunately I have an unwelcome visitor but if I had dug my heels in and said no, the visitor would have been spending Christmas alone in a foreign country and OH would have been unhappy. So I'll be spending Christmas gritting my teeth.

Ladyhawk

Im on my tod this Christmas. My oldest sibling is with the in-laws, but invited me to join then (err... no thank you very much.... as nice as they are...), the middle sibling is working, and the youngest is gallivanting round the world with his partner and in-laws (asked me to join them... no thanks). My parents live 12 hours flight away so I wont be seeing them. My elderly aunt and uncle incited me to join them... again no thanks.

I seriously don't have a problem with this situation... everyone else seems to though!!

I hate the false bonhomie at this time of year. I hate the stress of it. I hate the tacky presents that just get thrown in the bin. I particularly hate secret santa at work and the utter tat you are given.

So Im opting out. I have made mince pies today, will be making stollen next weekend. On Christmas day I will be having a champagne brunch and a dinner of all my favourite foods, smoked salmon, followed by steak and chips followed by something creamy and delicious... possibly sherry mousse. My day, done my way.

*Louise*

I have no issues with the vast majority of my family, or inlaws, apart from one Granny who will be at my mums on Christmas night. She will sit and get slowly drunk and most likely fall at some point. She also sits and compares gifts, God forbid if any of us were to spend more on the other (nice) granny as my mum would get moaned at for weeks.:eek:

I have OH's parents over for dinner on the big day, but they always appreciate the invite and they are good to the kids so I am happy to have them. We go to them and the rest of OH's extended family on the 27th and will just wait and see if OH's brother and family turn up or if we all get dropped for a game of Golf which has happened in the past *rolls eyes*

My mum was invited for Christmas dinner as well but it's the first year without my Dad so she has chosen to stay at home by herself for dinner.

We always keep Boxing Day to ourselves and relax. The kids have a pyjama day, get to spend time with their new toys and eat junk food lol.

balletshoes

WISHIWASRICH wrote: »

Just joking but maybe you are brother's unwanted guests lol? Even though they said they were busy - you still booked yourself into a hotel so you could be with them. Bless.

You see it's not so easy to say no when people are so persistent....I mean what's balletshoe's brother supposed to do

sorry I'm confused - its family tradition that we all (ie me and my family, and my sister and hers) travel 6 hours up to our home town for family christmas, where my brother, other sister, and mum live. We do it every year, and my mum would be devastated if we didn't (we've been doing it for over a decade now). My brother didn't say he was busy, he just doesn't know if he's going to be partying at his flat yet, which is why I offered to book into a hotel so he can do what he wants to do over the christmas period. It means he doesn't have to make a decision yet, and we're all sure theres a bed somewhere for us all in the area for christmas (theres generally a bit of musical beds going on, no doubt this year won't be any different ). I'm 100% sure I'm not an unwanted guest - my brother would have no problem telling me its not a suitable time if it wasn't, to stay at his place. I'm also not going all that distance just to see my brother, its to be with all my family at christmas (we all have a great time together and they come down to our neck of the woods in the summertime).

My original point was, its okay to say No and then leave it up your sister to deal with it.

eta - has your sister's visit been and gone now?

Tropez

I can't say I'm dreading anything but the traditional "hey, let's all descend upon Tropez's house at the last moment" is no doubt going to be bothersome this year.

It happens every year.

I make arrangements with my mother to spend Christmas Day here as early as October.

Mother gets invites from other family members but tells them she's already made plans - which suit her as most of my family live more than one hundred miles away and my mother doesn't like to travel too far.

Around about the 20th December, several of the relatives decide, allegedly on the spur of the moment, to make arrangements to come up our way for Christmas to see my mum but what do ya know? All the hotels are booked up so they end up taking my spare rooms and sofa for several days.

These relatives don't even particularly like me, so why they wish to spend their time at my house is a mystery to all.

I tolerate this because whatever their problem with me, it is nice for my mum to see them - they could, of course, pick any other time of the year for their visits but whatever...

Only this year, my partner has been in New Zealand for what seems like an eternity. I only get a couple of weeks with her before she has to go back for another few months and dammit, I want to do naughty things with her!

OrkneyStar

aggypanthus wrote: »

You are lucky they want your company. Me and DH have had no family invites at all .

Exactly.
It will be me, DH and DS (5) and grandad will come for some of the day. Mum (mine) is 300 miles away and will be at sisters (also near her), my dad dead, DH's mum dead, one bro in Aus, one 15 miles away but recluse.
Be thankful folk want to spend time with you, but equally if you'd rather they didn't you should have said no.

Stephb1986_2

Me and my OH usually go to my folks for christmas dinner, before hand we have to go to his sister to drop the kids presents off.

Most years his dad comes with us to my folks house (he hasn't got a wife now or anything) but last time he got really bladdered was really obnoxious to my folks and make a complete !!!! of himself needless to say he isn't invited this year.

We've then got to go to one of his aunts houses on boxing day to see his mum then thats it.

Steph xx

VikkiiKawaii

I'm going to Florida for Christmas with my partner, sister, brother, mum and LO. Have no idea what we'll be doing Christmas day yet, but will probably try and sneak off with LO and partner for a little while as it's LO's first Christmas!

I've already done all my family visiting early this year so don't have to be with anyone I don't want to be on Christmas day and am so glad for it.

Mojisola

Tropez wrote: »

Only this year, my partner has been in New Zealand for what seems like an eternity. I only get a couple of weeks with her before she has to go back for another few months and dammit, I want to do naughty things with her!

Well, that might put the visitors off inviting themselves next year!

WISHIWASRICH_2

Make-it-3 wrote: »

I have 3 weeks at the in-laws to endure.

Their house has no heating, I hate the food, I can't drink, I mostly feel isolated because I don't speak their language. The house is out of town and there is no where to go but stay in and get bored, bored, bored or help out by doing pile upon pile of everyone's ironing.

I may if lucky get some very slow internet connection, so MSE is my Christmas friend.

I feel your pain..... 3 weeks is soooooooooo long....