The Realtives are Coming / Oh no I have to visit the Relatives - Xmas Vent Thread

WISHIWASRICH_2

Mojisola wrote: »

But saying yes is causing hurt - to you and your family.

There are roundabout ways of saying no and there comes a point where, if they want to be dramatic, you have to let them. At least they'll be doing it somewhere else and not at your house.

The same with the kids - "Tomorrow's going to be a busy day so all you kids are off to bed now." I couldn't be doing with running around at midnight!

There are limits to how often you can say "no" surely without causing offence? Truth is I don't really like my sister or her kids so there is never a good time to see her lol - so I always want to say no. Ditto rest of my family and in laws - that's why I only see them once a year at christmas!!! If I liked them they'd be part of my life.

And I wouldn't dream of telling someone else when to send their kids to bed by the way.....

londonsurrey

WISHIWASRICH wrote: »

There are limits to how often you can say "no" surely without causing offence? Truth is I don't really like my sister or her kids so there is never a good time to see her lol!

Whilst it is generally true that there are limits as to how often you can say no without causing offence, you have hinted at the fact that your sister and her family are generally offensive anyhow. If that is so, then it is acceptable and sensible to say no to her for as often as is necessary.

WISHIWASRICH_2

broace wrote: »

You know what I think you really don't mind that much if they come and are just looking for attention. If you really wanted a quite Christmas of just your household then you would have said no to all your relatives. You look like a pushover and until you put your foot on they will continue to take advantage.

Actually, I was just looking to share my experience with posters who were living through something similar - I don't really care if you think I'm a "pushover" whatever that means

WISHIWASRICH_2

londonsurrey wrote: »

Whilst it is generally true that there are limits as to how often you can say no without causing offence, you have hinted at the fact that your sister and her family are generally offensive anyhow. If that is so, then it is acceptable and sensible to say no to her for as often as is necessary.

But the ultimate no is "never again" - and my Dad is still alive - so as far as I'm concerned never again isn't an option....

Mojisola

WISHIWASRICH wrote: »

And I wouldn't dream of telling someone else when to send their kids to bed by the way.....

In their home, no.

In my home, I would.

WISHIWASRICH_2

Anyways, it's nearly 6 and there not here yet It'll soon be bedtime lol!

Mojisola

WISHIWASRICH wrote: »

But the ultimate no is "never again" - and my Dad is still alive - so as far as I'm concerned never again isn't an option....

If I felt I had to keep up with the face-to-face contact, I would arrange it on my terms.

What about a summer-time gathering at a theme park, a zoo or some other tourist attraction? You would be in control of how long you spend with them.

Or how about inviting yourselves to their house? Again, you can arrange when you arrive and how long you stay.

WISHIWASRICH_2

aliasojo wrote: »

Sorry Op but is there anyone you do like? :D

Yup - the people I see all year round not just at xmas

WISHIWASRICH_2

gingin wrote: »

What DO you like about christmas?

I have tedious duties like many but I try and make sure there are lots of little things for me in there too. The highlight of my week this week was buying the christmas TV times and getting my highlighter pen and putting a big fat circle around all the things I want to watch. Then I know that when I have time I am going to sit on the sofa, with some choccies and something alchoholic and catch up on all those fab programmes I want to watch. Simple pleasures - you've got to have something to get you through!

I like Christmas Eve and Christmas day - just me, DH and our boys - bliss!

I guess we are lucky to have this - other people have to have endure unwelcome visitors even on christmas day:)

WISHIWASRICH_2

Mojisola wrote: »

If I felt I had to keep up with the face-to-face contact, I would arrange it on my terms.

What about a summer-time gathering at a theme park, a zoo or some other tourist attraction? You would be in control of how long you spend with them.

Or how about inviting yourselves to their house? Again, you can arrange when you arrive and how long you stay.

I'd hoped to just have a brief encounter with my sister and her family at my brother's next weekend - alas it was not to be. Hopefully, come Monday that'll be my duty done for a year...

Anyways, my hubby and my sons (they are 19 and 16) have gone to the pub for something to eat - which means they are happy:beer:

Are your parents still alive?