Not 'doing' Santa

pelirocco

broace wrote: »

Well you need to recall that Santas never had any child protection checks, if they do now. Also someone dressing up as Santa is completely different to a nursery assistant or anyone qualified to look after children.

As for your question about the threat posed, well firstly it encourages negligence of your childs comfort and then safety as abuse can happen within seconds.

The majority of child abuse happens from people the child knows

All this starnger danger stuff has got completely out of hand and I find it very sad that a lot of children are brought up to fear anything and anyone

jellyhead

Peater wrote: »

My my. What a thread.

My 2-penneth: I was sold the whole Father Christmas & Tooth Fairy lines when i was a kid. My folks did such a good job that i believed until i was 11 years old. I defended it when people said they didn't exist and dismissed them as idiots.

When i started adding things up and had suspicions, i confronted my parents and they told me that none of it was really true.

That was a turning point in my life, i felt so betrayed by the people i trusted completely that i was quite depressed for about 9 months and had insomnia.

I came out of it, but have been left totally cynical and question absolutely everything i am told now. Which, i think is a good way to be as i think i can see through alot of the BS in life. But, am i any happier because of it? Probably not. I actually quite envy people who take pleasure out of garbage like X-Factor etc, they seem much happier with their lot.

While Santa makes Xmas 'magical' for children, it teaches them bad habits about materialism. The only good thing is that it can be used as a bargaining chip to garner better behavior - "Don't do that or you'll go on Santa's 'naughty' list etc. Which is a means to an end i guess, but not very honest and can back-fire later in childhood if and when they work out its all baubles.

That's really sad Thanks for sharing your story - I'll make sure that my 7 year old finds out before then ... he'll be in high school at 11!

In our house Santa isn't about materialism. He's spent £30 on each child - no ipads in this house!

As for the 'naughty list' they think it's hilarious that my 16 year old is on the naughty list for having a messy bedroom. Neither of them are worried that he won't get a present. Santa said in his video that he knows my son can tidy his room enough to get onto the good list.

I used to hear parents threatening small children with the naughty list and I hated it so I made sure my kids knew that Santa is a nice man who just wants happiness and harmony, so while he might be pleased that a 7 year old is making an effort in school he would never punish anyone by not leaving a present.

I haven't really thought this through - it's just evolved as my eldest got bigger and we dealt with questions as they came. Youngest heard about somebody else's video and he wanted one of his own. He knows that we've been talking to the teacher about his issues but he is not the slightest bit worried that Santa might not leave him a present if he has any more bad days at school. That wouldn't work anyway, as the worry of failing to please Santa would make him so anxious that he'd start flapping and have a meltdown anyway, and therefore have a bad day.

Any mention of Santa in this house is happy and positive, and I will be letting him know the truth in the next couple of years. He has a good sense of humour and he loves stories and make-believe so I am certain that he will just think it was a nice bit of make-believe that we colluded in because it made him happy.

I'll remember what you said and do everything possible to make sure that he's not upset and doesn't feel lied to or betrayed.

Peater

jellyhead wrote: »

I'll make sure that my 7 year old finds out before then ... he'll be in high school at 11!

Well, yes. I was in the first year of Secondary School so it made me the subject of rather a lot of ridicule for the next 5 years....

But i'm fine now. HONEST!

jellyhead

Peater wrote: »

Well, yes. I was in the first year of Secondary School so it made me the subject of rather a lot of ridicule for the next 5 years....

But i'm fine now. HONEST!

Awww I was hoping you were in year 6 rather than high school.

skintchick

Bitsy_Beans wrote: »

Skintchick yes I agree that Jesus was a real person. Do I believe he was the son of God? No but not really sure what point you were making? Are you expecting me to say no?

Person-one I agree about learning white lies. All those saying telling a lie is a lie......do any of you always tell the absolute truth to EVERYONE? Or do sometimes you tell those white lies to spare people's feelings (I don't mean people on the Internet, lets face it far easier to be honest when it's not face to face, much harder doing it to someone's face where you know it could cause offence).

I was just messing because of earlier comments about religion.

As for white lies, no I don't tell them. I either find something positive to say or I don't say anything. It takes practice but its easy once you're used to doing it. Usually there is something positive that can be said.

seven-day-weekend

I find it difficult to believe that kids of Secondary School age still believe in Father Christmas. No wonder they are traumatised once they realise it is all fiction. It must have been drummed into them really hard.

I don't think I believed after about five, but then again I was frightened of him so he was never made into a person with magic powers for me.

seven-day-weekend

skintchick wrote: »

I was just messing because of earlier comments about religion.

As for white lies, no I don't tell them. I either find something positive to say or I don't say anything. It takes practice but its easy once you're used to doing it. Usually there is something positive that can be said.

Same here.:)

gingin_2

I've played along with it up until now, this is 8 year old DD's first year of knowing the truth. She blatantly asked me and so I had to tell her. I previously viewed it as embellishing the truth but I couldn't out and out lie, so told her. I am mourning him this year, sad that he's gone but I am sure the mince pie, carrot and beer that he gets will be left out and there will be much excitement when the stocking gets opened in the morning. It will also be nice to get some credit for the choosing of the presents, instead of the fat guy in the red suit!

mumps

Person_one wrote: »

Something we learned as children was "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."

Although I think we got it from a Disney film and they're probably forbidden in your house too, at a guess...:rotfl:

One of my favourite quotes when mine were kids, still use it now and try to stick to it but not always successful.

mumps

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I find it difficult to believe that kids of Secondary School age still believe in Father Christmas. No wonder they are traumatised once they realise it is all fiction. It must have been drummed into them really hard.

I don't think I believed after about five, but then again I was frightened of him so he was never made into a person with magic powers for me.

From myself, siblings and my children I think 6 would be the last Christmas they believe in Father Christmas or the first Christmas when they have doubts. Not scientific, just my own experience.

I remember at six being told by a know it all girl at school that there was no Father Christmas, several of us were shocked with this but Sister sat us down and reminded us of the story of St Nicholas and what is important about Christmas. The trauma didn't seem to affect us too much and I was chosen to play Mary in the Nativity. My aunt made the costume and I remember it so well but can't remember who was Joseph. Maybe that was the real trauma.