The Ultimate Incentive natters on. Part 9

Tete_en_l'Air

Glad you had a nice day Birdie, despite OH's drunkenness!

Funny it should be Just Do It June, that was the only thing I could think of beginning with J - and is a good one for me. I've been putting that into practice especially at work in the last few weeks and am getting loads done - so much in fact that I'm having a v quiet afternoon this aft so spending it organising all my digital photos since the end of 2010 on my external hard drive

Will have to have a little think about my goals for June - one of them needs to be to watch S1 of The Killing so I can give the box set back to colleague before I leave! Woo!

How is Gracie doing today?

starnac

Don't work too hard this afternoon Tete

28 Birdie??? Wow I remember those days as if they were only 3 years ago :cool: now I'm the wrong side of the next decade!

Just do it June sound like just what I need. Someone to tell me to get off my backside and sort myself out. Thank you Dinah

I've got 3 things that I could chose from. One is a money goal, one a decluttering goal and one an unfinished DIY project. I might chose one of the first two and make hubby finish the DIY project as his JDIJ ;

Must get deciding

shrimpy_80

My JDIJ will probably all be wedding related - but I don't know if that's a cop out as that kind of has a deadline anyway! Then again it would be pointless focusing on other stuff when I have so much to do. Ugh I'm so indecisive! I think I will aim to get all the DIY bits done and the decoration side taken care of, that will leave 6 weeks before the wedding to focus on myself! I should probably do a money challenge instead but I know I'm just not in the right frame of mind and would end up stressed and disheartened and probably spending more.

Glad you had a good birthday Birdie, cocktails at lunch sounds like my kind of celebration!

Dinah93

York ladies.... look what arrived....

Tete_en_l'Air

Argh - they're brilliant!!! Oh I wish I'd done another coat of purple now... oh well - there's always next time!

Shrimpy, I don't think wedding stuff is a cop out. I think the idea of Just Do It is a bit like eating the frog - stop faffing and procrastinating and just get it done - it's never as bad or lengthy as you think it'll be!

Birdie85

Oh God, mine looks a right state! There's a big grey stripe where I thought I'd cleverly managed to cover up that black mess when my brush slipped, gah! Oh well, it was fun and the other stuff all looks good, we'll know how to make them look extra awesome next time!

I don't blame you for wanting to focus on wedding stuff for JDIJ Shrimpy, you'd be mad to spend your time on something else when it's getting so close!

Hope Gracie's feeling better today.

Has anyone got nice plans for the weekend? We were hoping to stay in and watch Eurovision (OH loves it so much I think he must have a little mainland Europe in his blood!) but our friend is visiting from Scotland so we're going to see him. Doesn't he know that this weekend is inconvenient for us?!

Tete_en_l'Air

Oh no I see what you mean Birdie, hadn't noticed that at first! I guess the moral of the story is to always paint a gazillion layers!

I hate Eurovision (shoot me! ) so I might use the carp-tellyness to have a proper stab at watching colleague's Killing box set. Also want to sew something!!

Dinah93

This'll cheer you up Birdie - project for the weekend?

Dinah93

Well, I'm skirting about with little bits of web browsing, but an honest thread post is in order. The last few days, yesterday and today especially have been very dark and twisty. Today may even be one of the worst days just for how I feel when there is nothing that's set me off. I'm feeling like there is a lot of pressure to clear the debt, to be a supermum, to keep a job to pay our bills when I feel very threatened by them and the last thing I want is to go into that environment, I just feel like life is out of my control and I want to be able to be in charge of it again.

Quidco paid £34 today, unfortunately had to refund £50 to a guy on ebay as I sold him a solid fuel stove which was in fact a gas stove, so if he stuck coal in there bad things would happen. I'm just glad he didn't ask for a full refund as that was £117. At the moment I can't work out how much we're going to need to clear in June as I don't know how much Greece is going to be, but I'd estimate we will need to clear somewhere between £1500-£2000 to feel good about JDIJ.

Lara44

Hi Dinah

I'm sorry to hear that ((((((HUGS)))))). You're a do-er, would it would help you feel more in control to make a plan of action?

I think you need to do a statement of affairs and work out the minimum amount that you need to get by per month. Then add the minimum amount you need to pay on the debt to be debt free in say 5 years, or 7 years (using the snowballer).

With that figure you can start to work out what to do about the other things troubling you.

At the moment things are uncertain with NIM's job so you need to hang onto yours, which is such as shame as it's clear from your posts you really want to be home with Grace a little longer. If you cut right down on your household expenditure, and delay any overpayments on the debts, could you afford to go part-time at work? (I know there are other associated childcare costs that have to be factored into the equation).

Thinking about work is scary and bad at the moment. Can you work on those feelings with your counsellor? Can you re-engage with your workplace in a different way, and think about putting something like a phased return in place? You have been working there for a long time and I am sure they would be keen not to lose an experienced part of the team.

If you want to stay at home you might think of downsizing in the medium term when NIM is back at work. If you were able to pay off the debt with money from a house sale and secure a lower monthly mortgage payment, would you be able to manage on NIM's salary alone? Or from a job one or two days a week for you? Going back to work might be easier if you had plans to leave in a year.

I know this is all complicated by NIM's plans to study. Sit down with him and write out all the permutations. You still have options.