The Ultimate Incentive natters on. Part 9

Dinah93

Had a great day at the Dales festival of food and drink today, Grace staying with mum and dad tonight as I'm exhausted, she's started waking at 5.30 almost every morning, but I doubt I'll get a good night's sleep anyway as with NIM away I seem to wake a lot during the night and have constant nightmares.

I'm ridiculously excited - the first of our seeds are sprouting! The two pots of kale have got lots of shoots in them after only 5 days, makes me eager to plant more things now!

Birdie85

Hi Gang! :wave: Just catching up after a week off MSE Missed some exciting news! Congratulations on the job NIM and the bump Flower! :j :j :j

Hope everyone's had a good bank holiday.

roomontheend

We had the both the little people last night as it was dd birthday. The blue fella woke up at 5.30 am, he would have usually gone back off but he seen me and thought it was playtime.

Great news on the plants dinah. I got nine cauliflower seedlings today for 20p and some of the other seeds we planted only last week are starting to sprout. The little girl person loves being out in the garden, she even has her own wheelbarrow.

Cinny91

Awh, a little wheelbarrow must be adorable! I used to have "allotment" shoes when I was little, they had spades, veggies and plants all over them

Dinah, I'm terrible for sleeping when OH isn't there too. Or if I do drift off, I sleep really lightly and wake at the slightest murderous creek! Checking windows are closed from all those ladder wielding rapists. But I'm so glad Grace is doing well, and it does sound hopeful for the hole healing itself!

What did you get up to on your break, Birdie?

We had a good weekend here, OH was at le football on Saturday so after work I pottered with Ryder, paid the deposit on my next tattoo and had my Sister over for tea. Sunday we took Ryder for a walk by the trent - and Ryder took a walk in the trent. Then yesterday we bobbled around in the garden, cleaned our cars, had a BBQ and laid out on the grass reading. One of the nicest weekends we've had in a while!

Birdie85

I must be odd as I love it when OH is away, I sleep like a baby! That's probably down to the fact that I can actually spread out and there's no-one there snoring or starfishing or poking me because I'm moving too much!

Didn't get up to too much on our week off Cinny. We were about to book a short break to Mallorca but checked the weather and it was all rainy and windy (a FB friend out there at the time confirmed that with her moany updates about the lack of sun!) so we decided against it! We had a night in a nice hotel in Manchester since neither of us had been (apart from going to the arena which doesn't really count) and did a lot of pottering about at home and ate and drank far too much.

I went to see McFly on Saturday... which was awesome as always but it was depressing how we were very much in the 'older fans' category now! What's with all the screaming teenagers?! Why aren't they going to 1D concerts?! Seriously, some of the girls there would've been 4/5 when McFly first started... and they were frowing at *us* like we didn't belong there! :eek:

clearmydebts

Morning all! I am another one who doesn't have a great sleep when OH is away. When he was commuting back and forth to the UK for a year it was terrible

We had a lovely weekend, although the weather was shocking. FIL's 60th! He was overwhelmed by the whole thing. We brought him out for a meal & then had a cake back at the house, but it was gluten free so I think that's what set him off!

We also spoke to BIL about a car so he is on the look for us now and hopes to get us a 2005/6 Toyota Corolla. I can't wait until we have our own set of wheels! It took us a car journey, 2 trains and a tram (6 hrs in total) to get from FIL & MIL's yesterday when one car trip would be 3 hours.

wendz86

Morning all,

Sounds like some nice weekends have been had. Glad yu had a good week off Birdie.

Dinah - glad the appointment went quite well. My friends little boy has a hole in his heart and is also waiting a while till they operate. I planted seeds and very excited they are growing too!

Our weekend was really nice. Was down in southampton so did some wedding stuff. Had my hair trial and one of the bridesmaid did too which we were really pleased with. Also went to the venue and had a meeting and they were really helpful and have had lots of my questions answered. Also went to my friends sat night and ou for lunch sunday and saw all the family so a very busy one. Hen do this weekend...excited!

Dinah93

Hi all, how are we?

Had a home visit by HR and my boss yesterday, after all the previous support this was shoddy as hell. I was told the council can't support an indefinite period of sick leave and to give them a date I'd be returning. I've only been off 6 weeks! After they left I just felt so panicked, I just don't feel ready for this and I feel completely cornered. They asked me to discuss an exit strategy ie handing in my notice, which isn't something I want to do at all. They don't seem to get I WANT to be able to act like a normal, rational person and go back to work, being this nervous wreak who spends large chunks of time sobbing for no reason is a lot less fun for me than it is for their spreadsheets. I'm going to ask my GP to up my medication, just block everything out, it's the only way I can see I can go back at this point, but I hate the idea of going back when I feel like I'm going back right now due to being bullied into it and it's not in anyone's best interest.

wendz86

That sounds really hard Dinah and like they were bullying you. I am not sure on all the rules on all these things but that doesn't sound right to me. You shouldn't go back if you aren't ready as that is just asking for something to go wrong.

clearmydebts

(((Hugs)))

I'm not too sure what to say

What does your GP think? Have you been diagnosed with depression/anxiety?

ACAS will give you some practical advice on the matter:

http://www.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=1364

It doesn't sound like you are ready to go back at all but I remember when I worked in the council and was a manager all these new procedures (sickness/long-term sick) came in and they had to be followed and adhered to by HR and managers.

Completely not your fault, but weren't you off for a good period of time a couple of years ago? Most councils have traffic light systems which are triggered by a person being off on a certain number of occasions. I don't remember the ins and outs of it but I do remember if you called in sick 3 times in 6 months it triggered an interview. Not sure if it would be the same with your council.

Not sure if I am making sense here. I think what I am trying to say is that your boss & the HR person are probably being pressurised by a HR system and in turn are pressuring you.

Could the GP sign you off for another while? What is your council's procedure? Could they dismiss you for being off for a certain time? Or could they cut your pay?

I think you need to find all this out so you feel more in control of the situation, although I am sure it's the last thing you feel like doing.

More (((hugs))) xxx