The Ultimate Incentive natters on. Part 9

Tete_en_l'Air

Yikes that sounds terrible - are they allowed to do home visits like that? Was it pre-arranged?

I think CMD is right, I've heard of places where it's the number of times you're off rather than the nature of it that triggers the action- eg Sandra could be off for 6 months for say depression, and be fine; and Bill could have three days off in Feb with a cold, a day off in June for an ear infection and two days off in Oct with gastroenteritis and he'll be hauled in the office and grilled :undecided

Anyway I think CMD gives some good advice - find out the facts and you'll feel better. Me, I'd be tempted to go in and show them first hand just how much of a wreck you are (maybe burst into tears on a member of the public, say) and have them send you home themselves, but that's just me

Birdie85

Sorry that you're feeling so pressured by work Dinah. Must be awful. I agree that it sounds like they're getting earache from above which is why they're pushing you to commit to some solid result either way. You can have great, sympathetic management, but when the people above them are stressing about reaching targets and covering for the sick employee they can only offer support for so long before buckling under all that.

Our company also runs an absence scheme in that if you're off for 8 weeks + it's OK (as in, it doesn't go against your record too much) but if you take 3/4 odd days in a 6 month period you get penalised! Seems crazy silly to me, it actually works out better if you take a week off rather than a day as you'll get punished all the same!

Anyway, don't rush into going back before you're ready as it will just make things worse but do try to get yourself work-ready IYKWIM. Maybe make a point of asking if they'll offer any counselling/CBT sessions to help you (I know you've got some NHS counselling already, but if your employer is willing to pay for more then I'd take it as AFAIK NHS is pretty limited in how often you can have sessions and the overall number of sessions allowed isn't much!). They may cut you some slack if you show willing, but you're just not quite *there* yet.

Big hugs, it's a rotten position to be in.

Oh and totally OT, I see from your sig you've finished 'The 100 year old man who climbed out of a window...' Tete, did you like it? I finished it last week and thought it was great!

wendz86

I read that book, thought it was ok but i am more of a chick lit sort of girl lol.

Tete_en_l'Air

I didn't finish it, I swapped it for Life of Pi when I went to Ireland as it was thinner (Ryanair!! ) I'm hopeless with my reading at the moment, I need to plug my phone in on the other side of the room at night I think so I read something a bit meatier than Twitter in bed at night!

wendz86

I only get loads of reading done as i am on a train for an hour everyday.

clearmydebts

I need to make a start on Game of Thrones!

Birdie85

LOL Tete, I make a point of only using the Kindle app on my tablet when I get into bed!

I'm saving GoT for my holiday reading CMD. I love a good series to get into when I go away... it's just a case of making sure I hold out until September!

Dinah93

You could probably start now Birdie and still be reading in September!

Called ACAS (thanks CMD) and yes, they can fire me if my absence would have a significant detrimental impact on the business (how they'd argue that when I've been off for maternity leave in the middle and they didn't fill the post I don't know) so I am in a difficult situation. But as yet they've only hinted, they have to give me written warning of their intent to cancel my contract, and give me time to return. It feels like this is a big set back to actually feeling ready to return though, today was the lowest day for a while. ACAS also raised the possibility that they'd be in violation of the disability discrimination act, as depression is recognized as a disability under the act, so if they were to fire me I'd certainly take them to a tribunal.

Lara44

Sorry to hear that Dinah. Are they amenable to a phased return to work? I know you can use your holiday to do a 4 day week, but something more transitional?

I'm also having a bad day, in a bad week, in a bad year, but my problems are just all boring guff about me me me and my inability to write a thesis! Getting back into after Paris time off is HARD. Supervision tonight, I hope my tutor will help me out a bit.

OH is being a bit off today too. It seems chocolate is required. Hugs all round!

zigmeister

Definitely sounds like lots of hugs are needed on the thread at the moment!

Dinah sorry to hear about work - more pressure from them is the last thing you need at the moment and I don't blame you for feeling overwhelmed. At least ACAS have given you something to think about and you know you will get some warning at least? Definitely agree with Lara about asking about a phased return to work, anything that could help really.

It's always hard getting back into work after time off Lara but I hope your tutor manages to inspire something! Academic writing can be so so difficult, good luck

I went for a job interview yesterday for an admin job and I got it The stupid thing is, I rang OH and burst into tears because the location of this job means I'll only see him Friday and Saturday night. It's ridiculous, I should have been chuffed but the thought of not coming home to him and cooking dinner and watching rubbish tv truly SUCKS. Plus, I'm another that sleeps way better when he's there! I'm coming round to it now but felt so down last night.