The Ultimate Incentive natters on. Part 9

Cinny91

Hoping everything went well for you this morning, Tete. Good luck for tomorrow too!

Glad you're feeling positive Shrimpy and happy you're comfortably at home for the holidays.

SO glad I'm not a shoe girl at this moment in time! My feet spend 80% of their time in dunlop wellies so it's a good job too

Hope the counselling comes through for you Dinah. Sometimes it just does the world of good to have someone sit there and just nod or hmm in the right places who's completely detached from your day-to-day situation.

Can't believe another week is almost in the books! People always said to me once I got past my 21st birthday the weeks would just fly by. But I didn't think they were actually being serious.

clearmydebts

Dinah93 wrote: »

Thinking of you and your dad this morning Tete, hope it's great news.

Had the health visitor around for an hour and a half this morning, she's calling my GP as she thinks I need more support and some counselling as I'm possibly depressed and certainly having a lot of anxiety. It's 90% to do with the stupid ACD diagnosis on Grace, if someone could just tell me she doesn't have it I could stop bursting into tears every time she coughs for fear it's her lungs failing.

Do you feel depressed yourself? I'd say counselling would be a good idea, as what you went/are going through is very stressful and it's no harm to have an outlet?

Shrimpy - so glad everything went well x

Ruby - fair play to you for resisting the shoes. They are gorgeous!

Tete & NIM - If I lived near you both I would be gatecrashing and coming to The Hobbit with you!

Dinah93

Not so much depressed, just a bit at the end of my rope. Small things happen like breaking a glass or forgetting to send an email and I burst out crying and can't stop. I can't get to sleep because I fear she'll stop breathing, and if she's not breathing loud enough I have to put my hand on her tummy to check her. If I still can't feel I poke her.... usually waking her up. I only leave her with my mum and even then I'm terrified something is going to happen, I don't leave her with anyone else yet in march I'm probably going to need to. I'm still sad I failed her, that her issues are my fault, that I didn't ever get a normal pregnancy with old ladies groping my bump, that I don't know what the future holds, that I never got normal maternity leave with baby groups and worries about milestones rather than surgeries..... probably should have replied in a pm rather than whinging in general

clearmydebts

Dinah93 wrote: »

Not so much depressed, just a bit at the end of my rope. Small things happen like breaking a glass or forgetting to send an email and I burst out crying and can't stop. I can't get to sleep because I fear she'll stop breathing, and if she's not breathing loud enough I have to put my hand on her tummy to check her. If I still can't feel I poke her.... usually waking her up. I only leave her with my mum and even then I'm terrified something is going to happen, I don't leave her with anyone else yet in march I'm probably going to need to. I'm still sad I failed her, that her issues are my fault, that I didn't ever get a normal pregnancy with old ladies groping my bump, that I don't know what the future holds, that I never got normal maternity leave with baby groups and worries about milestones rather than surgeries..... probably should have replied in a pm rather than whinging in general

It definitely sounds like you need counselling, justto get all of this out. I can't understand what you are going through, but I know it must be horrible to have that fear about your child. How is Grace doing in general? Does she need to have surgery or is that somethig down the line?

On a practical note. Do you have one of these monitors? Tesco usually do good deals on them and I wouldn' be without mine:

http://www.angelcare-monitor.com/International/en/home

archersluck

Oh Dinah, massive hugs to you. Sounds like having someone to talk to would be a positive thing, you have so much on your plate. And we known you're wonder woman but even she needs a hand sometimes! Your family, especially Grace, are blessed to have you - you haven't failed her, you and NIM are the superstars of her universe. x

Dinah93

I bought one but never used it, Grace had an apnea monitor on her tummy (monitors in case she stops breathing) so this would have been redundant as it does the same job.

It's 50-50 if she'll need surgery on her heart, lungs are left alone unless they deteriorate.

It might be after midnight, and therefore I might be loosing my marbles, but I just made the most perfect pie of my life for NIM to take to work tomorrow. No leaks, no burnt bits, and best of all, no soggy bottom - Mary Berry would be proud. Hope it tastes as good as it looks, sadly won't get to try as NIM is going out on the town with work people afterwards so won't be able to bring home the leftovers.

Birdie85

Sounds like counselling would do you the world of good Dinah, sorry you're still struggling with things but try not to beat yourself up. You haven't failed Gracie, she's lucky to have 2 wonderful parents.

Well done on baking the perfect pie though! :T

We had to abandon plans to go to York yesterday as it was so soggy, went up to Teeside park instead. Managed to find ex-display leather dining chairs in Next, exactly what we've been after, for £140 for all 4. Only issue is that since it's ex-display they're funny about when we can collect so have to go up again tomorrow to pick them up after 5pm. We had picked out a really nice table and entertainment unit that were going for fab prices too but the table had actually been sold and they hadn't labelled it as such, which is a shame as it was perfect, and there was no point buying the matching unit as there was nothing to match it to! At least it saved us some money though- and panic about how we'd get them home!

Hope everyone who's broken up for Christmas is enjoying themselves! I finally feel like I can relax as I finished my shopping last night. I'm on the edge of my seat today as I'm expecting a couple of parcels and really hope we don't miss them! Luckily OH should be in most of the day, I told him that his presents are in the parcels so if he wants gifts under the tree on Tuesday he'd best stay in to accept them!

ruby_eskimo

Aww Dinah. I agree that counselling would help. I can't imagine what you're going through and it must be so exhausting to worry so much all the time. Hopefully you can get the help and support you need to try and lift all this "pressure" off of you.

All the talk of pies makes me want one now.

Pilchard

Hi everyone

Mind if I drop in? Just been reading all the posts in the new shiney thread.

Dinah, you are a very good mum and one determined lady so don't you beat yourself up about Grace, she is a very lucky little girl to have you and NIM as parents. You have not let hurdles beat you and should be proud of everything you have achieved culminating in the birth of your beautiful daughter. Counselling will hopefully be very beneficial for you cos you can then take that time to express everything you feel and are worried about and not have to put on the brave face that I bet you do when you are around others.

Part of the reason I'm posting on here is because you have been such an inspiration in sorting out debt and working towards goals andf that is something I need to get sorted. I have discussed with OH about sorting our debt so at some point in the next couple of weeks we are going to sit down with all our paperwork (and probably a stiff drink :beer:) to look at our debts and sort out the money. We have even discussed getting a second job each around the jobs we actually do so we're keeping an eye out for something suitable. We really need to get it sorted as we took on a much bigger mortgage 2 years ago but the then first year was taken up looking after my dad and the second year we've been getting over his death and looking after my mum. Next year, though, we have decided, no excuses, get our backsides into gear and get it sorted.

I shall post the totals in my update when I have faced the awful truth :eek::eek::eek::eek:

Happy Christmas everyone (and look forward to seeing what Dinah's challenge is for January) :snow_laug

archersluck

Merry Christmas everyone Hope you all have a wonderful day tomorrow, and that Gracies first Christmas is super special.

Birdie - OH and I exchanged gifts today and mine could have been for you: Harry Potter studio tour tickets, and the young house love book lol x