Age gap in a relationship

maryjanell79

Just show her some support. She is probably nervous of what other people will think when she tells them of the age difference.

So let her know it shouldn't matter as long as she is happy. To hell with what everyone else thinks

danlojo

When they are together they ooze happiness and if that's what she wants then I'm right behind them.

You can tell that there is an age difference but it doesn't look too bad.

He is lovely and she's so happy.

She hasn't shown him off to her parents yet though but she's told me that she won't be mentioning his age.

His oldest son is a year younger than her

newcook

Then surely if she is happy who gives a hoot?! It would be different if she was a naïve teenager being led astray but she is 45!!

Hopefully your friend likes this guy enough to not give a damn what you or other people think – life is far too short.

Is there a reason why you have a problem with it even though he makes your friend incredibly happy? Hell, if a bloke makes my nearest and dearest happy then he is a decent man!

seven-day-weekend

danlojo wrote: »

Just wanted to get others thoughts on this.

My 45 year old friend who is single and has been for 3 years-ish has started seeing a lovely man and today I found out he is 64. To be fair he doesn't look that age but I think my 'look' when she told me today how old he was may have upset her.

I babbled my way through saying that I didn't think he looked his age but then proceeded to ask her if she was ok with it.

I know it's not my business and TBF he is a lovely man.

Why should there be a problem?

A friend of mine was married to a woman fifteen years older than him (they are now divorced but it was nothing to do with the age gap). He is now married to a woman sixteen years younger than him. She was only sixteen when they met, but they have no been together for five years and married for two. She is like a lovely 'big sister' to his children.

danlojo

newcook wrote: »

Is there a reason why you have a problem with it even though he makes your friend incredibly happy? Hell, if a bloke makes my nearest and dearest happy then he is a decent man!

I don't have a problem with it

My reaction was more because he certainly doesn't look into his 60's.

annie_d

I am 51. My husband is 14 years younger and we have now been together hmmm 12 years.
My daughter is 25 and her bf is.......39
Age really is just a number and if your friend is happy that is all that matters x

moneyistooshorttomention

I think the only thing you can do is to "be there" for your friend/wish her happiness whilst nervously crossing your fingers privately and hoping he won't come down with any age-related health problems as he gets older.

I would feel the edge of nervousness because a friend of mine married a man a good deal older than herself and he went on to get Alzheimers (yes I know it can happen to younger people as well, but statistically it tends to be an "older person" thing normally). The Alzheimers started to "surface" not that long after they got married (such a short time afterwards that I did wonder whether it would have been visible beforehand to a very observant eye) and she spent most of what was a fairly short marriage in the event having to deal with him steadily getting more and more ill with the Alzheimers culminating in him eventually having to go into a home. That marriage didn't give her much happiness, but did end up giving her a lot of grief.

But all you can do, as an observer, is hope things work out for her, he stays well and they live "happily ever after".

jclm_2

i'm 32 and my hubby is 55. we are very happy and having a wonderful time with our 2 year old and 6 month old. :beer:

embob74

I don't think "old age" starts where it used to start.....my 60 year old mum does not come across as 'old' and yet my nan was old at 50!! I know many 60/70 year olds who are still working and this will become far more common I think.
I have always believed that as long as you have the same outlook and aspirations then age is irrelevant. I think that once a person has lived independently they can then be seen to be on a similar footing with other adults, whatever the age.
However I do have a friend who's dad was 30 years older than her mum. They were very happy but as her dad neared his 80's the relationship changed from husband and wife to husband and carer. The mum often said the age gap was a problem then but that could have been because she felt like she had lost the husband she had.
Saying that though....any relationship could change to one being dependent upon the other no matter the age gap.....it's just far more likely with an older partner.
I'd be happy your friend has found happiness.....it's not that easy to come by as you get older and set in your ways!

scooby088

I don't think I could deal with anyone that is younger or older than myself. As for age just being a number interests would be different, life experiences too would be different, can't say I'm ready for my pipe and slippers just yet.