Age gap in a relationship

dandelionclock30

My friends aunt married a man who was much older than her. When she was in her early 40s he was 70 ish. He then sufferred a variety of health problems, was immobile and very abusive.
She was young still and wanted to have a life but it was difficult for her as nobody would look after him as he was too abusive and vulgar.
She said to me people will say to you that age gap relationships dont matter and when they do think of me and this situation.
So basically people make their choice, I personally would only want someone around my own age. But different people can put up with different things and may not mind eventually being their partners carer. I know people can end up being a carer of a person of any age.But the fact remains that if your partner is 20 years older than you,then its much more likley.
Also people tend to think that the partner is your Mum or Dad.
People tend to get into partnerships with much older people for one reason their money. Eventually the younger person tends to get fed up and leave the older partner anyway.

marisco_2

Be happy for your friend and leave her relationships up to her. At 45 she should be quite worldly, more than capable of weighing up the pros and cons of any age gap with someone she gets involved with. If they are a good match things will last, if they are not they wont.

I have always dated men who are quite alot older than myself. I find them more mature and interesting.

bugslet

Hmm, I got involved with my OH probably because he had more money. Er, no, neither of us had much money and then I set up my own business and after 10 years he came to work for me.;)

As for your friends aunt, it sounds as if he had early cognitive problems - there comes a time when care is the best option and that sounds like a candidate.

Sorry, but it really annoys me that people see older bloke and younger woman and assume she's going out with him for money reasons.

katie1812

I have always said that age is just a number and I really do think that. I think there could be a bit of questioning if the person was around 16, but at the end of the day is old enough to make the decision themselves! You are only as old as you feel and if your friend is happy then see how it goes, it may not come to anything

mandi

PinkLipgloss wrote: »

I think there's a typo there!

:eek::whistle:

mkaibear

Isn't the old "saying" (from the Qu'ran, I believe) - 'the perfect age for a woman is half the man's age, plus 7"

...64/2 is 32, plus 7 is 39 - if anything she's a bit too old for him.

...:rotfl:

(kidding of course - there's nowt wrong with that age gap as long as they are both happy!)

System

Theres 15 years between my friend and her husband. It doesnt seem to bother them.

HeadAboveWater

My SIL is 13 years older than my brother! Happily married for 5 years just past.

Her eldest daughter is 3 or 4 years younger than my brother :eek:

newcook

I personally think that age gaps seem less the older we get – one of my friends is 30 and her fella has just turned 48 (not that he acts it!). he is actually closer in age to her mom and she is only a year or so older than his son but no-one bats an eye about it. They are one of the most loved up couples I know and have a fab relationship.

Im guessing plenty would have been said if she was 17/18 and he was mid 30’s though!!

bylromarha

Mum was 22 when she married my 51 year old dad in 1969.

They were happily married for 11 years before he died in 1980.

Mum died a few weeks ago and sorting out her house is proving to reveal a load more things she went against the grain with too! Mum, the rebel!

Leave your friend be is my advise OP.