Age gap in a relationship

londonsurrey

My 70+ year old neighbour has just popped in for a chat, and she's a brisk busy soul, still working, happily talking of doing things like unblocking her sister's conservatory guttering, going out for all kinds of events and meeting up with friends.

My ex MIL, on the other hand, at 50+, was very much a lumpen shape on an armchair, sitting there with a downturned mouth, even when surrounded by her 6 grandchildren at family gatherings, waiting for people to notice her and entertain her.

So I'm very much of the opinion that although age might affect all kinds of pension benefits and have some health implications, it can only be used as a very rough guide as to the emotional maturity of the person, especially from the ages of 25 onwards.

Lucyadams184

I don't think I could be with anyone with that much of an age gap but she's not a child and as long as he makes her happy, what else matters. My husband is 8 years older than me and he took a bit of stick from his mates as I was only 21 when we got together but 12 years later we are still together and have 2 children.

Goldiegirl

There's 9 years between my husband and I.

I suppose there may have been raising of eyebrows when we met, as I was 19 and he was 27, but after 33 years together (31 of those years married) any gap gets forgotten about in the sharing of lives.

Maybe in 30 years time one of us will be the carer for the other, but it might be me who is the one who is being cared for. My dad was 9 years older than my mum, and he ended up being the carer.

At this stage of my life, if I was single I could imagine going out with someone in his late 60's. But I could also imagine going out with someone in his early 30's ! Attitudes and outlooks matter more than actual age.

Sammy_Jo_4

Yes as stated above, being a young widow is something I'm sure she has thought of. I have a friend who was 23 at the time she was dating a 40 year old. She was 5 years older than his daughter from a previous marriage. She tried to make it work but i think that was just a bit too much for my friend to befriend someone who is supposedly her future step-daughter. But I think early 20's is a bit young to have a handle on such a relationship. Let alone the fact you are still trying to figure out what you want in a relationship.

Being that she is 45 herself I think she isn't concerned about having more children if any at all. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying she shouldn't or can't. I just think it is usually taken more negatively/ poorly responded to when the possibility of children is in play. As for you and your friend, maybe you can smooth it over by sending her a card letting her know you are happy she is happy. :j

Lilith1980

I'm 32 and my partner is 48, although I got refused alcohol the other day for looking underage - never felt so good ha ha!

I had a few comments off 'friends' from my hometown, supposedly jokey comments about me liking older men, when they felt like digs. But it's how we get on that matters and we have a great relationship where we can talk to each other about all sorts, and we never argue...which is a first for me in relationships.

It might have been a shock because you didn't think he was the age he actually is. But I am sure if you are happy for her there's no harm done.

ash28

I would just be happy for them...

My father was 21 years older than my mother and they were very happy.

I have 2 friends and one is 9 years (together over 40 years) older than her husband and the other is 11 years older .

Moira Salmond is 73 and Alex Salmond is 57 - they married in 1981.

It's more common than people seem to think.

bacardi66

I know people with big age gaps who have happy relationships and some friends who have miserable relationships with people their own age.

Im 45 and single but think I would prefer a 24 year old to a 64 year old

Mayflower10cat

Coincidentally, we have a good friend who is 61 and his (3rd) wife is 49 and they're perfectly matched and very happy. (His first two wives ran off with other men, sadly). Our neighbours are both on their second marriage and he's 12 years older than she is, (he's 63 but he's very fit and to be honest you'd be hard pushed to put an age on him if asked. We know another very happy couple (2nd marriage for her) and she's 51 and he's 37, but again, you'd struggle to guess either of their ages.

If your friend and her partner are truly happy, age is irrelevant. I think you can have a meeting of minds and fall in love, whatever the age gap. Or regardless.