Help! Pregnant

Helen2k8

OP, I hope your chap has come home and is helping you right now.



To certain other posters, you may or may not believe this thread. If you don't believe someone who is telling the truth, then shame on you, it's bad enough in real life, and yes I *would* know about that. If you are "fooled" by a forum troll then...um so what? Maybe the rapecrisis phone numbers and other advice will help someone else who comes across the thread in the future.

Hanging_by_a_thread

OP I hope you are okay and that you can work through this gradually with the support of your partner.

pinkshoes

ScaredNConfused wrote: »

He is outside. this is it. Wish me luck..

Did it go ok?

He loves you, and I'm quite sure any anger will be directed at the rapist.


You really should report this to the police (I imagine your BF will want you to do this), then you need to go to the doctors, have the pregnancy confirmed, and have an STI test to check you haven't caught anything. I think you'll then have to have a second test in 6 months time.

You'll be fine. At 12 weeks pregnant, you have many options.

And if your BF does leave you, then clearly he wasn't the amazing man you thought he was, so better off without!

(I'm sure he won't though!)

marisco_2

Molly41 wrote: »

Similar posing style to the thread about domestic violence with woman leaving her violent husband. Short snappy sentences.

I think this is the same poster and "her" previous thread was deleted.

How is your response in any way helpful or constructive? You seem to have just come on this thread and written something to totally undermine the credence of the OP.

If you read a thread and dont believe it why not just do the adult thing and walk away from it? I am willing to give posters the benefit of the doubt and help them. If any threads are wind ups, so be it. The way I see it, is that it has taken me a tiny bit of time to go out of my way to help someone and hopefully make a difference.

Even if the OP isn't genuine, which I dont believe to be the case here at all, then someone else who has gone through similar may benefit from the advice given.

All responses like yours do is to put people off coming on here and asking for help when they are in desperate situations.

Nicki

marisco wrote: »

How is your response in any way helpful or constructive?

.....

All responses like yours do is to put people off coming on here and asking for help when they are in desperate situations.

Molly is right, there have been a couple of threads which have not been genuine in almost identical terms to this one, which have been deleted but only after other posters have shared their own personal traumatic experiences and ended up feeling very violated and hurt when it transpires that the original poster is a troll trying to elicit personal stories of rape from others for titillation.

I make no judgment about whether this thread is genuine or not. If it is genuine, I wish the OP well, but its not necessarily a bad thing to let others reading the thread know that there have been fabricated threads along the same lines too, so they can make a more informed decision as to whether they want to share their own personal stories or not (so far no one on this thread has done so).

Joining a moneysaving thread to ask for help in this kind of situation is not the obvious choice though, and if a new poster does decide this isn't a completely safe place to ask advice, there are other much more specialised places to do so.

melbell

Nicki wrote: »

Joining a moneysaving thread to ask for help in this kind of situation is not the obvious choice though, and if a new poster does decide this isn't a completely safe place to ask advice, there are other much more specialised places to do so.

Unless of course the person is using an AE and feels completely safe here as they are an existing member.

I'm siding on that this is a real thread. You just don't make that up.

abailey54

Nicki wrote: »

Molly is right, there have been a couple of threads which have not been genuine in almost identical terms to this one, which have been deleted but only after other posters have shared their own personal traumatic experiences and ended up feeling very violated and hurt when it transpires that the original poster is a troll trying to elicit personal stories of rape from others for titillation.

I make no judgment about whether this thread is genuine or not. If it is genuine, I wish the OP well, but its not necessarily a bad thing to let others reading the thread know that there have been fabricated threads along the same lines too, so they can make a more informed decision as to whether they want to share their own personal stories or not (so far no one on this thread has done so).

Joining a moneysaving thread to ask for help in this kind of situation is not the obvious choice though, and if a new poster does decide this isn't a completely safe place to ask advice, there are other much more specialised places to do so.

I find that a horrible situation. Someone wanting to hear other people's horrific experiences for some sort of satistfaction! That's really quite disgusting. And besides which, there are enough horrifying stories available for everyone to read elsewhere, should you really want to read them

I made the mistake once of posting a predicament I had using a different medium, when I'd had a few too many to drink, and received a huge amount of abuse for what was a genuine request for opinions on a real situation. It never fails to disappoint me how uncompassionate and hating some people can be

Metranil_Vavin

I have to say I probably wouldn't chose a money saving website as my first choice to discuss something as personal and traumatic as a rape. I'd be more inclined to go straight to The Samaritans or The RC Centre.

And to the poster who doesn't think people make up stories just to troll these boards, stick around a bit longer. You'd be amazed at what some people will write to light the touchpaper...

Whattodo??_2

Hi OP. I've just been browsing on my regular username and noticed this thread so thought i'd make use of this AE again:o

I hope you're not genuine. I hope nobody else is going through this. But if you are, a huge hug to you.

I found myself in your situation last year. My story is here: https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3400042 There's lots of useful advice in it. Rape Crisis have been so helpful, please consider contacting them. They'll take your lead and help you in any way they can.
After talking to Rape Crisis I decided on a termination, but my body had other ideas and I miscarried.

On a practical level, you need to tell someone who knows you in real life what's going on. They need to be aware you're pregnant incase of any complications. Your boyfriend will stand by you. He loves you and knows you aren't to blame. If you can't tell him please tell your Mum, an auntie, a friend, anyone...

And please bear in mind that when you've made your decision on the pregnancy it's not over, so any support you're offered grab it with both hands. I wish I could say life is back to normal for me now and that I got a happy ending, but what happened triggered a deep depression and the last year seems to have been a circle I can't break of drink, drugs, otc pill abuse and suicide attempts. All the way through this though my Mum and (now ex) boyfriend have been my rock. Telling them was the best thing I did and despite the ups and downs along the way they've always been by my side.

Stay strong, and I hope you get the support you need. xxxx

Mojisola

Whattodo?? wrote: »

Your boyfriend will stand by you. He loves you and knows you aren't to blame.

I'm glad you are finding your way through your troubles but this isn't something you can promise someone else. Not all men can cope with this situation and some will walk away.