Clearing debts, keeping well and sorting myself out...

Kepp · 11 February 2013 at 10:16AM

Can only advise on a 'if it were me' basis if you know what I mean, your family dynamics might well be different.

But I would take your sister to one side and ask her why if she isn't prepared to give up work/money/etc that she feels that your Mum should be willing to give up her free time/possibly health/etc. Considering it was your sister's choice to have children and I agree with you, comes hand in hand with sacrifice when you do.

If your sister doesn't take the hint then I would advise your Mum to stop looking after your nephew. She's putting herself out a lot and deserves to be thanked for it.

And after that I'd stay well out of it!

As I said though, that's only what I would do

Emzilla · 14 February 2013 at 1:31PM

Afternoon everyone - Happy Valentines Day :heart2:

Sorry I haven't posted in the last few days. I've had a couple of wake-up calls this week. Firstly one of the DCAs called my mum's house. Luckily she wasn't there, so I was able to speak freely with them, but it was a new one that a debt had been passed on to and they had that number listed from ages ago. Told them to take it off immediately as my mum would have a fit if she knew how much debt I was in.

Secondly, a doorstep collector came to my house for a small debt that I had completely forgotten about. He said they had written to me but I hadn't received anything. Anyway, I made an arrangement with him (it will be clear in a couple of months) and I've had confirmation of this in writing from the company. He was nice enough, but it was still not a nice experience, especially as my neighbours were in and I'm sure they would have heard everything.

Now, I know this may sound silly to some of you, but I truly believe that my dad is up there watching over me. Sometimes strange things happen like the time I had no money but needed to put some petrol in my car and I found £10 in a cash machine or the year that he died, I won £600 to spend in a catalogue about a week before my birthday. It was like he was sending me a present.

Like I say, I know it must sound silly, but I do believe that it's him making things like that happen. Anyway, I think that these 2 wake up calls were him too. They came right after one another, my mum wasn't in the house, the door step collector could have been a right a-hole, but he wasn't. It's like he's saying to me 'come on Em, sort yourself out'.

So, I'm going to try and work out a plan over the next couple of days. Don't worry, I'm not going to go overboard, just see where I am, how long it will take me to pay all this debt off if I just keep paying £10 here and there and see if I can work out a way to make it happen a bit more quickly.

Emz xx

MuffinTops · 14 February 2013 at 2:45PM

Hi Emz,

Happy Valentines day to you too.

I completely understand the feelings of being looked over. Sometimes a lot of this sort of activity is too much to put down to coincidence. Also, you just happened to be at your Mum's house when she just happened to be out, when the DCA just happened to turn up unannounced. 3 coincidences right there before you even look at the rest.

So I'm with you on your belief.

It's always good to refocus as well, so I hope you work out a plan that works out really well for you.

MT x

Emzilla · 14 February 2013 at 5:39PM

Thanks MT - glad you don't think I've gone mad!!

I've got a brilliant app on my iPhone that I can just put my debts and monthly payments onto and it calculates the snowball and DFD. It then lets me add one off payments and recalculates everything. I've just got to put in all of my debt figures, which will require some sorting out at home tomorrow morning.

Just ordered a super king size duvet on Amazon as the king size one we have just doesn't seem to be enough for OH and I (he's a big lad). I used my Amazon vouchers to buy it. Just need to get a cover for it now.

Emz xx

gothrockchic1 · 15 February 2013 at 12:07AM

Emz I don't your mad. I don't believe we go completely when we die. So yes I think your Dad is watching and he will help you along the way.

Happy Valentines Day xxx

Emzilla · 15 February 2013 at 12:47PM

Thanks GRC

I've spent the morning sorting through a load of paperwork and getting my figures up to date. I've put them in my signature and have made a few payments today.

Basically, I'm just concentrating on the ones that are in contact with me at the moment. Others will appear on there soon (hopefully as others will also disappear). The debts in my signature are ones that have accepted a payment arrangement with me. So I've paid the ones that I've had to this morning and that's all I'll do with those for now (until the next payment is due).

My main priority is the arrears on my bills. I'll be chucking everything I can at them. I won £10 on JPJ this morning, so have withdrawn that and paid it straight off my council tax.

Emz xx

[Deleted User] · 15 February 2013 at 1:59PM

Great to see you back posting, Emz. A belated Happy Valentine's Day to you, I hope you had a good one and that your boyfriend spoiled you rotten:j

I totally know where you're coming from with the 'someone looking over you' idea. I've always been very sceptical about such things but something very disturbing and puzzling which happened to me last year has made me think very differently. I hope your Dad continues to help and guide you.

Just being nosy but does your boyfriend know the full extent of your debts? My OH hasn't a clue about mine:o and that has caused me so much stress really, the constant fear that someone would knock on the door and demand payment.

Take care of yourself

Emzilla · 15 February 2013 at 2:34PM

carbootcrazy wrote: »

Great to see you back posting, Emz. A belated Happy Valentine's Day to you, I hope you had a good one and that your boyfriend spoiled you rotten:j

I totally know where you're coming from with the 'someone looking over you' idea. I've always been very sceptical about such things but something very disturbing and puzzling which happened to me last year has made me think very differently. I hope your Dad continues to help and guide you.

Just being nosy but does your boyfriend know the full extent of your debts? My OH hasn't a clue about mine:o and that has caused me so much stress really, the constant fear that someone would knock on the door and demand payment.

Take care of yourself

I hope you had a good valentines day. OH and I don't really bother with presents and stuff. I got him a bottle of Red Square and he got me a pack of donuts!! Romance is still alive in our house :rotfl:

OH knows that I have debts, but he doesn't know how much or how many. He also doesn't know that I've got arrears on some bills - he would probably be annoyed about that, so I know what you mean about the fear that someone will come to the house demanding payment.

Emz xx

Emzilla · 15 February 2013 at 5:32PM

I've had another creditor accept my new payment plan, so I've paid £10 to them. I've also just received £10 from my mum (she now gets paid for looking after my nephew and she gives me half each week), so I've paid another £10 off my council tax.

Emz xx