Here I am in debt again. 2nd time lucky

mummytogirls

Steph I have just read back one of your posts from yesterday and you sound so much like me! Not wanting to say no to the family and feeling bad for depriving them and finding the money no matter what. It does get easier though!! xx

rising_from_the_ashes

StressedSteph wrote: »

Now I am realising that he does spend quite abit of money per month, I just never budgeted for it.

It seems that he does quite well for hobbies! Certainly better than just about anyone I know!:eek:

Most people now, they're luxuries and TBH if you manage 1 activity per week you're doing well!

Maybe suggest that the money would be better spent on doing something as a whole family .....

StressedSteph wrote: »

I have managed to get 10 x 50g packs of hubbys tobacco for £90.
Think they are Duty Free.

I have worked out that they should last him until mid-June. I am going to keep an eye on them to make sure he isn't smoking it all too quickly.

That works out alot cheaper at £26 per month.

If he doesn't know you've got them .... don't tell him as a) he will smoke more if he knows there's loads of tobacco there and b) you do still want him to give up and he won't if he knows there's loads of tobacco there ......

StressedSteph wrote: »

I would REALLY like to get a part time job, so that I had money of my own to do stuff with, but even though the children are in school so I could. What on earth do I do during the holidays??.

:j To signing up with the agencies ..... fingers crossed.

Long term a job in school sounds ideal for you - not sure if you could try volunteering as a parent helper - I know it's unpaid but they're often the people who get the jobs when they come up!:D

[Deleted User]

Hi Steph,

I love the idea of the temporary job and you're braver than I am for ringing the agencies up.

Good bargain on the baccy (sp?),I agree with Rising about not letting him see all of it as he'd be tempted to smoke it all in one go.

StressedSteph

Thanks for all your help everyone.

I haven't told him how much I have ordered, but I told him that the amount I have bought will HAVE to last until July at the earliest.

He said he had never really thought about how long a 50g packet lasted, but he will try to make it last at least two weeks. Fingers Crossed.

Did the FlyLady routine today and it was pretty good. The house looked pretty sorted.

Got a friend coming over tomorrow for lunch, but I am hoping to get my fly Lady stuff done in the morning and maybe find out a few more bits to Ebay.

See you all tomorrow. Thanks for all you help today, with my ranting etc :beer:

mummybearx

Is that the flylady routine that you posted onto my diary? Lol x

B-J-D

hi, iv just sat and read through your diary and really enjoyed reading it.

when i started to budget i decided to give my hubby 'pocket money' every week so i could keep the household budgets sorted without worrying what he had/wants to spend. if HE cant afford to do it with his pocket money then he cant. its not me saying no, he has to decide which hobby is more important. maybe this is something you could try? my hubby gets £40 a week and if he wants something big he has to save. after the fist few weeks of blowing the lot at the pub and having nothing left he had a weekend in, all the money in his wallet and bought a dvd which he enjoyed more then a night out. i think hes started to budget his money now too, 5 for loto, 5 playin footie ect ect. also if we have a tight month i say if he wants a takeaway as a treat on a friday it comes from his money. i think he now realises how hard it is trying to stick to what money you have and not just putting it all on a card.

sorry iv waffled on a bit there, think your rubbing off on me!! ;-) but anyway hope this might help a little. good luck xx

armchairexpert

Steph, I have long since noticed that because it tends to be the woman in a household who is responsible for buying children's clothes, birthday and Christmas presents, homewares, etc., they get tarred with the spendthrift brush a lot more readily than the man. Most of the things you have bought weren't for you. Sure, you bought on credit and that's now something you're addressing, I'm certainly not saying "hey, go out and buy anything you want", but please don't fall into the trap of thinking that because you were the one to physically choose the items, they therefore count as "things you have bought for you". If you see what I mean?

Rising, I'm going to go ahead and say this: I'm really upset and offended by your rant. I believe that working parents materially contribute to the economy in valuable ways, and it's appropriate that they are supported to make it a financially viable choice. But this is Steph's thread, so I'm not going to have a huge debate about it. I just needed to not let that go, because I was pretty taken aback to read that on someone's DFD.

rising_from_the_ashes

armchairexpert wrote: »

Steph, I have long since noticed that because it tends to be the woman in a household who is responsible for buying children's clothes, birthday and Christmas presents, homewares, etc., they get tarred with the spendthrift brush a lot more readily than the man.

Absolutely 100% agree with that!

I bet if the men in the household did more of these things then they'd have a much better idea of how much things cost!:)

armchairexpert wrote: »

Rising, I'm going to go ahead and say this: I'm really upset and offended by your rant. I believe that working parents materially contribute to the economy in valuable ways, and it's appropriate that they are supported to make it a financially viable choice.

I do wholeheartedly agree that working parents contribute enormously to the economy but I don't think it should be up to other tax payers to pay for their childcare costs! Sorry but I don't ...

Maybe it's different in Oz & your childcare costs are affordable (one of my friends has recently moved home to one of the European countries as the costs there are much less than in the UK) - this is the real issue and the one that needs sorted.

It should be about providing affordable childcare that parents can afford to pay for... not having childcare that costs crippling amounts & then expecting tax payers to foot the bill - or how is that helping when we need to cut the huge benefits bill we have in this country?

Sorry Steph ...

StressedSteph

zepsgal wrote: »

Is that the flylady routine that you posted onto my diary? Lol x

So sorry about that hun. I must have had a blonde moment and thought i was in my Diary.

I wondered where it had gone :rotfl:

StressedSteph

B-J-D wrote: »

hi, iv just sat and read through your diary and really enjoyed reading it.

when i started to budget i decided to give my hubby 'pocket money' every week so i could keep the household budgets sorted without worrying what he had/wants to spend. if HE cant afford to do it with his pocket money then he cant. its not me saying no, he has to decide which hobby is more important. maybe this is something you could try? my hubby gets £40 a week and if he wants something big he has to save. after the fist few weeks of blowing the lot at the pub and having nothing left he had a weekend in, all the money in his wallet and bought a dvd which he enjoyed more then a night out. i think hes started to budget his money now too, 5 for loto, 5 playin footie ect ect. also if we have a tight month i say if he wants a takeaway as a treat on a friday it comes from his money. i think he now realises how hard it is trying to stick to what money you have and not just putting it all on a card.

sorry iv waffled on a bit there, think your rubbing off on me!! ;-) but anyway hope this might help a little. good luck xx

Thank you sooooo much for that post.

Hubby has his £20 for skittles, and I make sure he has tobacco.
He does the odd job after work and I think it looks like he is going to end up keeping that to fund any extra hobbies.
It REALLY annoys me and I thought we were a team, and feel any extra earned cash really ought to go into the pot to pay off OUR debts.

We obviously think differently Grrrrr