Here I am in debt again. 2nd time lucky

StressedSteph

Morning Diary,

Not much to report today. Can't really start thoroughly cleaning the house until the children go back to school tomorrow. Its hard to make any headway when they are running around behind me, messing it all up again .

Checked the bank account, still heavily into my overdraft but at least all the bills will get paid this month, so an improvement on last November & December. February onwards the OD should start to get smaller every month.

Hubby reminded me this morning that I need to make room in the budget for his tobacco :mad::(. Don't think there is any chance of him giving it, its not for the want of me nagging. But I have given up. He HAS to want to. .
That is another £15 per week, I have to try and factor in. He got his last load from someone doing a booze trip to France. It was LOADS cheaper but we can't always rely on that, so I guess I will have to cope with an extra £65 coming out of the account :eek:. We have the spare cash each month, but I obviously want as much as possible to go against bills not fags.

Might have a look online to see if there is anywhere selling bulk that might be cheaper.

The first wave of my Ebay items end tonight. so that will be a good input into the bank account. Over £300 :T.

Think I might do what one of the other posters do here, and if something does'nt sell, just keep adding it back on until someone buys it .

anyway, will be back later. Hope everyone has a good Monday. I expect the telly is pitting today as the most despressing of the year as everyone goes back to work . I am just glad to get back into the old routine.

mummybearx

Thats a fantastic result from ebay :j i know you sold a bracelet that was expensive, it just shows how easy it is to make some extra cash :T

[Deleted User]

Morning Steph,

I did wonder what a luffa was at first but have just twigged...I wasn't aware that people grew them, I thought they were a man made thing...you learn something new every day

Ouch over the cigs, hopefully he'll give up and as you say its if he wants to give up. £65 is a lot of money.

Well done on the bills being covered, even if it is just from the OD. Ours is like that too. We will get there with the OD eventually.

I love the baking. Do you have a good flapjack recipe I could borrow? The one I use tend to make mine set like cement lol

Have a good day x

StressedSteph

Deleted_User wrote: »

Morning Steph,

I did wonder what a luffa was at first but have just twigged...I wasn't aware that people grew them, I thought they were a man made thing...you learn something new every day

Ouch over the cigs, hopefully he'll give up and as you say its if he wants to give up. £65 is a lot of money.

Well done on the bills being covered, even if it is just from the OD. Ours is like that too. We will get there with the OD eventually.

I love the baking. Do you have a good flapjack recipe I could borrow? The one I use tend to make mine set like cement lol

Have a good day x

Hi Purple and Zepsgal.

I am chuffed with the amount we have made from Ebay, but will have to be little gains from now on as think I have sold anything that is worth much.

Purple - This is the recipe I used last night. I had to put them in the fridge for a while to set the chocolate and they did go rock hard. But once they get back to room temperature they are quite chewy.

http://theboywhobakes.co.uk/2011/05/chocolate-dipped-flapjack/

Definately VERY tasty.

Yes I am frustrated with hubbys cigarette cost. He smokes rollies so we have got them as cheaply as possible. Its tricky because he also spends £20 per week on going to Skittles so he is spending £151 per month :eek:.
BUT....and it is a big BUT. It was me that was wasteful with the money and got us into this mess. (Even though alot of it was spent of hubby and kids) I should have been more sensible. So I feel like I am pushing it too much asking him to quit the two things he loves because of my past inability to budget . Tricky isn't it.

Trouble is, NOW I am being sensible. I am having nothing and he is still having his two nice things. I sometimes start to get abit jealous, but I have to remember that this is probably my punishment for always buying what I wanted , when I wanted it and not saving for it.

Grrrrrrr

[Deleted User]

Thanks for the receipe Steph, I've bookmarked and will definitely try them out.

rising_from_the_ashes

StressedSteph wrote: »

Yes I am frustrated with hubbys cigarette cost. He smokes rollies so we have got them as cheaply as possible. Its tricky because he also spends £20 per week on going to Skittles so he is spending £151 per month :eek:.
BUT....and it is a big BUT. It was me that was wasteful with the money and got us into this mess. (Even though alot of it was spent of hubby and kids) I should have been more sensible. So I feel like I am pushing it too much asking him to quit the two things he loves because of my past inability to budget . Tricky isn't it.

Trouble is, NOW I am being sensible. I am having nothing and he is still having his two nice things. I sometimes start to get abit jealous, but I have to remember that this is probably my punishment for always buying what I wanted , when I wanted it and not saving for it.

mmmmm difficult one - forgive me here (as I read far too many diaries:o) - I have a feeling that your hubby doesn't know the full extent of your debt .... is that right? (sorry if I'm getting you muddled with someone else:o)

If so, then he won't see why he should cut down on the cigs / nights out .... as he won't realise there's a problem IYSWIM?

I do think you need to allow a little "Steph money" tho' - we all need the odd treat now & then or we'll either a) go demented or b) and this is much worse .... end up having a blow out and spending a load of money on stuff we don't need :eek:

StressedSteph

rising_from_the_ashes wrote: »

mmmmm difficult one - forgive me here (as I read far too many diaries:o) - I have a feeling that your hubby doesn't know the full extent of your debt .... is that right? (sorry if I'm getting you muddled with someone else:o)

If so, then he won't see why he should cut down on the cigs / nights out .... as he won't realise there's a problem IYSWIM?

I do think you need to allow a little "Steph money" tho' - we all need the odd treat now & then or we'll either a) go demented or b) and this is much worse .... end up having a blow out and spending a load of money on stuff we don't need :eek:

Morning Rising.

Its tricky......I haven't actually sat him down and showed him the finances in black and white. But....He does know I live on this website, I am seriously budgeting, that we have credit card debts and we are heavily in the Overdraft. But I have NEVER told him the total amount.

If I am honest....I just don't want the arguement. . Its him that goes out to work and me that balances the finances and does all the paperwork. Trouble is I am useless at saying NO to me, him and the kids. So in the past if we needed something, I would FIND the money, no matter where it came from. .

Like hubby has just gotten a shotgun lisense, (we live on a small farm). A 2nd hand shotgun would cost at least £800. In the past I would have withdrawn money off credit cards and blown the overdraft to find the money for him to buy it.

I am being good now, as I have told him that any little jobs he does over his normal weeks work, he can save to get the gun.
It does kill me to deprive my family of having things instantly, but it teaches the kids a terrible lesson, so I have changed now.
Just got to stick with it. .

So.....Its hard to say..I know he finds giving up cigarettes an impossible task, and I have learnt in the past that I can nag and nag and it makes no difference. He has to WANT to give up. Not sure how I can help make that happen.

With the skittles - 2 years ago we moved to this small farm in a beautiful Dorset Village - and it has quite an active social circle. He has made friends with loads of guys and its nice for him to go out with them. I have made him keep the skittles amount to £20, as he used to spend loads more.

I don't need much for me really...I don't smoke or drink when I am at home. If I was'nt boring when I was sober, I would happily to Tee total. .

One thing I haven't budgeted for yet, is a clothing budget. I want us to get to the spring, Hopefully April time when the Od is nearly gone (fingers Crossed) and then I want to add maybe £50 to the monthly budget, so that I can buy the kids a couple of items each a month and me 1 item. I have a bad habit of having a big blow out on the catalogue and buy lots of clothes and then nothing for the rest of the year. Thats too expensive for us, so need to bargain hunt for one item a month and that will keep our clothes replenished.

Anyway...I am such a gabbler....Thank you for caring Rising.
I WILL get there this year. I look forward to the day I can log into the online banking and not be worried about hubby looking over my shoulder

rising_from_the_ashes

StressedSteph wrote: »

Its tricky......I haven't actually sat him down and showed him the finances in black and white. But....He does know I live on this website, I am seriously budgeting, that we have credit card debts and we are heavily in the Overdraft. But I have NEVER told him the total amount.

If I am honest....I just don't want the arguement. . Its him that goes out to work and me that balances the finances and does all the paperwork. Trouble is I am useless at saying NO to me, him and the kids. So in the past if we needed something, I would FIND the money, no matter where it came from. .

ahhhhh that explains quite a lot (((hugs)))

StressedSteph wrote: »

It does kill me to deprive my family of having things instantly, but it teaches the kids a terrible lesson, so I have changed now.
Just got to stick with it. .

Yup ... no-one can always have what they want all the time and TBH learning that at an early age is good for kids - especially now when they're surrounded by so much commercialisation and gadgets - think of the cost of some of these phones, touch pads etc ... hundreds ... does a child really know what that is / value it? nope!

There was a thread the other day on another board for someone wanting to find a good touch pad for a 7 year old :eek: seriously! :eek: what on earth does a 7 yo need a touch pad for? will they treat it with the respect it deserves - no ... do they appreciate it's an expensive thing - no .... sorry one of my pet hates!:mad:

They don't need gadgets / new clothes (all the time!) etc to be well brought up, fed and loved ... they're the main things

StressedSteph wrote: »

So.....Its hard to say..I know he finds giving up cigarettes an impossible task, and I have learnt in the past that I can nag and nag and it makes no difference. He has to WANT to give up. Not sure how I can help make that happen.

*sigh* I can sympathise with this ..... I wanted to give up for years but I also really enjoyed smoking so ..... hard one. Does he worry about the health side of it? That was what got me in the end


Of course you'll get there hun xx

StressedSteph

Thanks Rising.

I have tried the health side of thing with the smoking.

He claims,"something is going to kill me so I may as well enjoy myself". :mad::mad:.

When we had the children, I made him stand outside to smoke and I thought that might make him stop in the end, but no...He just happily stands outside. Weird....

He did promise he would give up when he turned 30....Well he is 37 now

rising_from_the_ashes

Ohhhh sorry but I'm :rotfl:as I see so much of the former smoker me in those responses!

StressedSteph wrote: »

He claims,"something is going to kill me so I may as well enjoy myself". :mad::mad:.

Yup.... I would've said that!

As for these Ads the government puts on the packs / tv .... they had the opposite affect on me & I stressed so much about the health effects it made me smoke more!:eek:

StressedSteph wrote: »

When we had the children, I made him stand outside to smoke and I thought that might make him stop in the end, but no...He just happily stands outside. Weird....

Not at all!

In all my years of smoking, I never smoked in the house or car ....

StressedSteph wrote: »

He did promise he would give up when he turned 30....Well he is 37 now

Ohhhh I was going to give up by 30 ..... then by 40 ..... It's just so easy to not deal with it and keep putting it off!